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Rhinestone Pride (Gilmore Girls)

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  • Rhinestone Pride (Gilmore Girls)

    Title: Rhinestone Pride
    Fandom: Gilmore Girls
    Rating: PG. No naughty words, just a naughty something.
    Timeline: Post-4.19 "Afterboom"
    Summary: Elaborating on a memory Rory mentioned in 5.19 "But I'm a Gilmore," we find out exactly went on that night Lorelai wore something inappropriate to dinner.
    **Note: My first non-script format fanfic in a long time and it was definitely randomly inspired.

    "I cannot believe you wore that shirt."

    "Hey!" Lorelai turned and glared at her daughter, "I'm sorry, but who are you and what have you done with my daughter? Did you trap her in the same convent you stole that little outfit from? Where's your wimple?" She had to admit: the shirt was a very daring move on her part. But considering her recent romantic departure from her father's business partner, Jason Stiles, she thought her pink t-shirt rather fitting for the evening in a more ironic sense than usual.

    "Stop it," Rory rang the doorbell and glanced over at her mother, slipping out of her coat in the process, "I do not look like a nun. I look like I should look when I'm going to Friday Night Dinner at my grandparents house. You know my grandparents, don't you? Richard and Emily Gilmore; the least perverted people in the entire state of Connecticut?"

    Lorelai held up Rory's long, navy jacket and examined it. Frowning, she turned to her daughter and cocked her head to the side, "Do you experience wind resistance when you fly with this thing on? Or does God help you? Did you take lessons from Sally Field, by any chance? She seemed like an expert at it?"

    "Stop it."

    "Hey, it's not my fault I have a great big goody bag of ?Flying Nun' jokes at my disposal."

    "Just put it on!"

    "Girls! Come in, come in!"

    Lorelai quickly lowered the jacket to see her mother, Emily Gilmore, standing in the open doorway. Quickly, she pulled the jacket against her chest, hiding the soon-to-be-frowned-upon rhinestone design on her t-shirt.

    "Hi, Grandma," Rory had already entered the foyer as Lorelai desperately tried to discreetly slip into her jacket.

    "Lorelai," Emily watched Lorelai curiously as she stood with Rory's jacket on backwards, "What on earth are you doing?"

    "It's a new style, Mom," Lorelai struggled to pose with her arms in the sleeves the wrong way and the jacket pressing tightly against her.

    "Well take it off," Emily turned and began to move deeper into the foyer, "Helga should be around here somewhere doing the job I hired her for." Her voice rose to a shout, punctuating her dissatisfaction with the latest maid's performance. Noticing that only Rory was following her, Emily turned and placed her hands on her hips. Lorelai had not entered the house.

    "Lorelai?"

    That was all that had to be said. The disappointment and aggravation just emanated off Emily's tongue as she spoke her daughters name, instantly sparking a response. Lorelai looked down at the ground and entered the monstrous house she had grown up in for so many years. Remaining in the backwards jacket, she shut the door and faced her mother.

    "The coat??" Emily motioned to the maid who had suddenly appeared beside her.

    "Um, I'd actually prefer to keep it, Mom. Kinda chilly in here?"

    "Helga, please take my daughters jacket and adjust the temperature," Emily stared at her daughter, "That better not have been some sort of subtle way of calling me some heinous ice queen." She turned and stalked off into the living room as Lorelai went to speak. Rory's disapproving shake of her head prevented anything from escaping her lips.

    "Hey, she said it," Lorelai shrugged and slipped out of the jacket before heading into the next room with Rory, her arms tightly folded high across her chest the entire time.

    In the living room, they found Emily in the process of making drinks. With only one glance at Lorelai's pose while serving drinks, Emily had enough, "What is wrong with you?"

    "Huh?" Lorelai looked up from her martini, which she was holding abnormally close to her, arms still wrapped across her, "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

    "Are you ill?"

    "Nothing's wrong, mom. Just enjoying the drink."

    "Then why are you keeping your arms like that?"

    "Because this drink is so good, I could hug it?"

    Emily wasn't in the mood for games, as displayed by the emotionless frown plastered across her face, "Lower your arms."

    Lorelai looked over at Rory but Emily's focus hadn't changed. Even when the maid came in to announce that dinner was ready, Emily remained fixated on Lorelai, "Have you gone deaf in the past week?"

    "No, Mom."

    "Then please lower your arms."

    Lorelai glanced at her daughter, who merely shrugged.

    "I told you not to wear it," Rory stood up from her seat on the couch, seemingly to get out of the danger zone.

    Lorelai sighed, rolling her eyes and staring up at the ceiling to avoid making eye contact with her mother. Slowly, she lowered her arms and revealed the pattern which she had desperately tried to keep hidden. She winced in anticipation of her mother's explosive rant at the crude outfit she had chosen to wear.

    But there was no response.

    Lorelai looked back to her mother and ruffled her brow. Emily was merely standing there, glaring down at Lorelai's shirt.

    "Is that what I think it is??" Emily didn't bother to look at her daughter when she spoke.

    "Yes, yes it is. And I didn't mean to wear it b-but?I was driving and I was drinking coffee and a squirrel just?ran out into the middle of the road and I swerved and the coffee spilled and this was the only shirt I had in the car to wear." Lorelai bit her lip, knowing that her mother would catch her lie. Instead, Emily turned on spot and moved into the dining room. Baffled, Lorelai looked over at Rory, who shrugged, just as confused as she was.

    "Girls, come sit down," Emily called from the next room, "I'll check on dinner."

    "The maid just said dinner was ready?" Rory pointed out quietly as she walked towards the table.

    "And she thought I was the one who went deaf?" Lorelai took her seat opposite Rory and waited for her mother to return with dinner, hoping that her shirt would be long forgotten. It wasn't another few minutes before Emily returned, Helga the maid following in her wake with three plates of food.

    "I hope you enjoy this," Emily sat down in her chair and placed a napkin in her lap, "Helga has a fantastic recipe for spaghetti that is absolutely fabulous."

    Lorelai looked curiously across the table at her daughter who remained equally perplexed ? by Emily's perfectly fine behavior and by a maid named Helga having an excellent recipe for Italian cuisine.

    "Um, isn't Helga a Scandinavian name, Grandma?" Rory ate a forkful of spaghetti.

    "Why, yes, I believe it is," Emily beamed over at Rory as Helga left the room.

    Lorelai stared at her mother as she ate, somehow scared by the joy radiating from Emily. As they ate, however, flashing lights lit up the room through the window and a faint beeping disrupted the awkward silence of dinner.

    "Mom, what is that?" Lorelai took a swig from her glass of wine, waiting for her mother's answer.

    "Oh it's nothing," Emily smiled at Lorelai, "The neighbors are such pests. They leave their cars in places they don't belong and it's only right that they get towed away." She then returned to her plate of spaghetti, smiling.

    Lorelai nodded in response and stared at the distant window. Somewhere deep down in her gut, she knew something wasn't right.

    One long hour, two more glasses of wine, a cup of coffee, and a cherry danish, each, later, Lorelai and Rory found Emily bidding them farewell until next week and shutting the door behind them.

    "Ok," Lorelai remained facing the door that just shut them out of the house, "Where's Nicole Kidman when you need her? I bet Mathew Broderick and Bette Midler are gonna pop up any minute now, too."

    "Huh?" Rory turned around and started off towards the driveway but Lorelai remained staring at the door.

    "Hartford?Stepford?Hartford?Stepford?The similarities are endless, as displayed by this bizarro Emily Gilmore we had dinner with tonight." She turned and saw her daughter, frozen on the sidewalk, and headed towards her.

    "What's wrong, hun? Nicole Kidman isn't really gonna randomly appear?" And she froze right beside Rory. "She didn't?"

    Rory huffed but didn't bother looking at Lorelai, "Yup. She did."

    "She had my car towed!" Lorelai's jaw dropped and she turned back and forth, facing the door one moment and the empty driveway the next, "She?She?Oh my god!" Not once did her gaping mouth close as she stared blankly at the stone path to the street, as if expecting her car to magically appear before her. The jeep, however, was long gone; hauled off behind a tow truck to somewhere else in Hartford.

    Rory shrugged and pulled her keys out of her purse, unlocking the doors to her car.

    "You're going to give mommy a ride, right?" Lorelai scuttled over to Rory who shrugged in response.

    "I was thinking about it?"

    "No! No, you're giving mommy a ride!"

    "Hey, it's not my fault you got your car towed!"

    "I didn't think the shirt would cause this! I thought it would lead to fun-fun bickering and eventually dirty jokes over dinner! How was I supposed to know that she would have my car towed?"

    Rory shrugged.

    "Do something other than shrug, dammit!" Lorelai was breathing heavily.

    "Hey, I told you not to wear your rhinestone penis shirt to dinner. Don't get mad with me." The two strolled to Rory's silver car and got inside.

    In the passenger seat beside Rory, Lorelai nodded her head gently, "She's brilliant?"

    "That she is," Rory turned the keys in the ignition and the two began the journey home, a faint sense of pride lingering in the air.

    the end.
    Last edited by Heather; 24-07-07, 04:48 AM.
    wittyCOMEBACK: updated 10/2/10!

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