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  • Bond

    Just when you thought my fic couldn't get any darker....

    Disclaimer: Willow and Tara belong to Joss. He made 'em. He owns 'em.

    Pairing: Willow/Vamp!Tara

    Rating: R (sex an' violence, arguable noncon; keep the kiddies away.....I'm not kidding, I really wrote this!)

    Setting: Debatable...sometime after S4.

    "If you're uncomfortable, say 'photon'," Tara says evenly, "and stop. It's okay."

    How can she laugh when she wants so much to cry? "That's not what I meant," Willow says.

    "You don't have to give me a safe word," says Tara. "I don't deserve one."

    She's trying not to whimper.

    Tara gives her a disappointed look and changes faces. "This isn't what you love. I'm bad."
    When Willow's sleeping, she keeps Tara locked away. Tara insists.

    "You wouldn't want me to hurt anyone. It's just like with Oz. I'm not safe."

    She keeps Tara on a short leash. It's not visible, it's not solid. The realest things aren't.

    She can't take any risks.

    "Spike can't be good, but he can't really be bad either. The chip won't let him. I don't have a chip."

    Willow watches her. It has to be this way. This Tara is the only one she has left.

    "If I'm bad, hurt me. I deserve it."

    So she does.
    Tara doesn't hold back. When the whip lands, she screams.

    Willow has to do this. She's not as efficient as a chip. Sometimes Tara gets away. She hasn't killed anyone. Not yet. She's learning.

    So Willow hurts her. It's what she asks for.

    Maybe they can all learn.

    Afterwards, when Tara's backside is all long red welts, Willow tries to soothe her hurts. It's what she's supposed to do, she's read. Tara pushes her away.

    "I'm not supposed to be here, Willow. I'm dead. You shouldn't try to heal me. It's not right."

    "I...I have to...I can't look at you like this and..."

    "It's okay, Willow. I forgive you."
    It doesn't feel natural. Willow doesn't talk that way. But Tara demands it.

    "Say my name, bitch!" Willow pushes a little harder, grinds her hand a little deeper.

    There's no need for Tara to be gasping for breath. Not really. She doesn't speak.

    Willow begins to pull away, and Tara mewls softly. "Say my name."

    Tara always says not to ask. Take what she wants, when she wants, Tara says. She's not a person any longer. She's not allowed to say no.

    Tara manages a hurt look, and Willow sighs. "Say it, bitch."

    "Will-ow," Tara moans. She's not exaggerating. Willow doesn't stand for that; Tara doesn't let her.

    Everything has to be as real as she can make it. The pleasure, and the pain.
    "You don't have to keep me here," says Tara. She offers the stake. "I'm a demon now. Evil is evil."

    Willow's fingers are too numb to hold it. It clatters to the floor.

    "You shouldn't be so lenient," Tara says. "You have to make me learn. I won't do it on my own. I can't."

    "I...I can't hurt you any more...."

    Tara runs gentle fingers through her hair. "It's all right, Willow. Do what you have to do."

    She crumples to her knees, and Tara holds her as she weeps.
    Sometimes Willow wonders whether Tara enjoys the beatings.

    Sometimes she wonders whether Tara doesn't.

    She doesn't understand anything any more, and that's a scary place when you're a Willow.

    She stares into the mirror, eyes red, and wonders, if the magic between them is all gone, why her roots are going black.
    DeadWar: Burden of Proof
    Out Now.
    Avatar by Barb
    Feedback is always welcome here.