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Warning: This is Quite long!
I've effectively written an episode guide to Buffy but in the form of a very long poem. I'm aware it sounds like a strange thing to do but let me explain. I'm a writer and most predominantly a poet (or maybe lyricist might be a better term) and I've recently been enjoying the poetry of Ogden Nash, or the lyrics of Stephin Merrit and Cole Porter. So I've been honing my own lifelong love of word play and it was then I came up with the idea of writing a poem about Buffy. At first it would be just a fairly broad overview, a few verses which detailed the big events over the course of the series. But as I began to write I thought "Imagine if I could list every episode in this way." Could I write it so it would make sense, be grammatically correct, enjoyable and to keep a fairly solid rhyming scheme?
Now originally I wasn't going to be as stringent with the rhyming but that's part of the fun. Also grammatically I cut some corners (I'm not sure you can say "persona gratis in the know", but I did need a rhyme for "status quo", but come on! Cut me some slack! this was a hard thing to sustain!) Also sentence structure goes out the window, I mean
sentence length falls by the wayside with meter but again it's the spirit with the form I was trying to capture, not just pure form. Some lines work better than others but it varies due to the complexity of the story line or what needed to be said (also I must admit a wayward tendency with tenses but again, it was all how I was trying to keep it poetic. Think of it as a major use of poetic licence!)
I wanted the material to be quite dense, not only does it feature a TV chronology but it's peppered with in-jokes, references, even mild critiques, asides and so on. Basically it took on an (after) life of its own!
this was my attempt to marry one passion of mine to another passion of mine, not only a literary exercise, but as an unusual tribute to Buffy. Now with the very nature of it, I couldn't get everything in. Some things I wished I could have mentioned would
be Mr. Gordo, Larry coming out in "Phases", more about the Mayor or extra Jonathan but I did my best to get as much stuff in there as I could. Originally I was going to write the whole seven seasons but realised this was already going over ten pages so I chose to stop at the end of Season 3. It's part 1 (if anyone wishes to see a continuation I am currently working on it) but
I think it was the perfect place to stop at the end of their innocent school days, and with Angel and Cordelia having left for Angel. (Ironically I'm nowhere near "Once more, with Feeling" which would of course
be a huge influence on this piece of work.)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they are the property of Joss Whedon and all those wacky folk at Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox.
Feedback: Yes please, I welcome it.
I'm very proud of this and urge those who read it to spread it through fandom. This show means the world to me and this is my gift to all the people who love this show as much as I do.
Buffy The Poem
An imaginative (i.e. love to pretend) boy by the name of Whedon,
used his initiative (pun I intend) and gave us something to believe in.
He swept us into a world of horror, roads away from the studios of Karloff,
and left us, we nerds with a number of episodes so great, Kudos, we're better off
And for a wonderful seven years, we were there bearing the cross with the Buffster,
saw her getting pulled from heaven; saw many tears, until Joss said "Enough Sir".
But as the First masquerading as the Master said once while grinning,
to get fully immersed or to just wade in, it'd be a disaster not to go back to the beginning.
It's about a girl who was almost annihilated in some bizarre incident,
She found out the world was full of people exaggerated in the denture department
And she was Chosen, one in a long line, a warrior in the fight against evil but still just a teenager, a kid
She was Californian, totally of her time; nothing was scarier to her than falling off a cheerleader pyramid
and here she was suddenly with a destiny trust upon her, the weight of the world on her teenage shoulders
Of course she would sullenly agree and dust a vampire, the fate of this girl was to join a lineage of soldiers
So she moved to Sunnydale from LA, a fresh take on life, a new start to leave behind her foretold woes
She was hoping to never again have to slay, break flesh or stake a heart, out of sight/mind (to name one of the old shows)
So her first morning at Sunnydale high she was distractive to a boy who for that one and only time was on a skateboard,
This was after a warning from her mind's eye of a non reflective destroyer, a vision, a slayer sign of a vampire lord
What he had planned for her she still didn't know but it would be messy, something called the Harvest.
She met a boy Xander, a girl Willow, another guy named Jesse, and how they couldn't have guessed
that this new classmate would be all imbue-y to use the Buffy vernacular of a power and to be unique
and that, well two of them would be a great Scooby on this adventure for an hour every week
There was a neat metaphor about how High School is Hell through the fights,
It also had a pretty sweet score and only a high fool wouldn't watch Tuesday nights
There was also Giles, a Librarian well aware of Buffy's secret, he had his own role as her stern Watcher
a man of few smiles, a bit of a contrarian at the beginning when he wasn't "with it" would soon turn more like a father
Also an attractive stranger with huge collars gave Buffy a warning about the near future and what was rising
He seemed to know the danger, wasn't gone on colours, even with what he was wearing, how was his true nature surprising?
The Master began to feed on the people in the Bronze and since he was trapped, he had it done by proxy
but he wasn't counting on a new breed of people with the horror batons in hand, or a slayer being tapped who was so foxy
The Master was foiled for the time being and a brand new status quo was presented to the world at large
and now a number of people embroiled in Buffy's calling, "persona gratis", in the know and could help with her charge
Their second adventure had few stakes through hearts but that other horror staple, a villainous witch and her dealings
possessing a cheerleader, wearing very short skirts and Xander being unable to confess his true feelings
While Xander agonised over that, Willow was so cute over him, a secret crush she kept hidden for so long, but fate wouldn't grant this
He was then surprised, at a new Substitute teacher who seemed to coyly blush around him but he was wrong, she was a giant praying mantis!
Buffy then wanted to play the dating game and those seeds she began sowing despite Giles and his inevitable disapproval
Her crush was so fey, even a little lame (oh and unusually he actually breathes) his name was Owen, she had horrible Cordelia as a rival
That didn't work out too well for them, we'd soon learn Buffy hadn't the knack with juggling men and her "great" destiny
For Xander something else befell him he was possessed by Hyenas in a pack and after struggling with that, faked he lost his memory
Time for Angels secret to emerge, his fangs were drawn and Buffy "wigged" thinking he had bit Joyce her Mom
But he had a soul, sins to purge, Joyce was just a pawn in a rigged biting, Angel had a choice and stayed good all along
Darla was killed by her sire and Angel and Buffy, began a tentative relationship but promised to keep biting to a minimum
Willow was thrilled to have a boyfriend she thought was sensitive and computer hip, but it was a demon who called himself Malcolm
A demon hunter inhabiting the body of a ventriloquist doll next found its way to Sunnydale and despite being wooden he was some fighter
He stopped a murder happening and in a great twist wasn't evil but a typical male, so after some audience wrong footin' we get Snyder!
Buffy and the gang have their nightmares come alive for a brief time, something that was happening to the whole town.
Buffy becomes "friend of the fang", Willow is Madame Butterfly, can't sing a line while Xander runs from a scary clown
Ever felt so ignored you could vanish? Well then you're like Marcie who would go invisible from out of sight, out of mind
Someone the cool kids would banish, girl never invited to a party but this is where shallow Cordelia became more defined
And then a prophecy turned Buffy's world inside out, when it was fated that she would die at the hands of the Master
She couldn't deal properly and suffered serious self doubt, but then was reinvigorated after mouth to mouth from Xander
Back from the dead feeling stronger than ever, offing the Master was a breeze 'n' any thrall he had was gone, he had been thwarted
It has to be said, there was no cliff hanger, this was only the first season after all, but a second season was swiftly reported
************************************************** ********
The Slayer returned after the Summer, with a bit of a 'tude, prancing around being mean, was it post traumatic stress after the first season?
A prayer was answered for Xander, but that's not cool dude, dancing with someone seen to have romantic interest, when she was just teasing
Then a Frankensteinish story about something pretty icky, dead girls to make a bride, called "Some Assembly required?"
The episode is give the ranking of D minus, subject matter is tricky for new spins or whirls on something so Shelley inspired
But the next tale gave us the villains we all grew to really like, a crazy vampire duo like a thriving Sid and Nancy having a good time in "School Hard"
a trail of destruction, Yep that's Dru and Spike, who killed any competition pronto and driving through the fancy Sunnydale sign became a calling card
Xander again found love with something supernatural, became a funny running joke of the series how scary a place was this alma mater
it wasn't enough that she had to kill to be beautiful, she was a mummy gunning for Xanders throat, yep this was his romance with "Ampata"
Some suspicious college boys took a shining to Cordelia and Buffy and literally invited them to the Frat party from Hell
it was part of devious ploys to sacrifice the girls to Machida a puffy and rather silly snake, that party was swell!
An old friend of Giles rolled into town with a costume shop that rendered the wearers whatever role they were dressed to play
All smiles ?til Ripper knocked him down in a room, he dropped and surrendered but still managed to be blessed enough to get away.
Oddly Halloween is boredom for the creatures of the night, so they stay in and let humans put on attire and imitate them
Billy "Ford" Fordham didn't have things so right, he figured out Buffy's slayin' and wanted a vampire to re create him
To stop himself from dying he hatched a plot totally unremorseful and heinous to trap Buffy in an underground bunker with Spike
But for all his trying, He totally forgot, that Buffs truly resourceful, she was furious he was such a sap but he got that immortal bite.
Jenny Calendar a computer teacher and techno pagan began to flirt with Giles, just as a demon took over her body
He wanted to date her, but before he could reach her, "Heck no!" thought Eyghon, and treated her like a specimen to study
The demon tried to hurt him while in control of Ms. Calendar, but Giles was able to finally move on and the gang saw he was flawed
It was seeing a different side to Rupert, a part of his soul, hard to handle it but after such trials he felt he had done wrong and was a fraud
But they forgave him as career day loomed and Buffy knew she'd lack a proper kind of future and station, bound as she was to her duty
She and Giles investigated a tomb with the name of Du Lac and while distracted by a vampire loses the one named Dalton who returns to Spike with some bounty
After breaking a code Spike plans Dru's recovery to get her well, by ordering a hit on our heroine by the Order of Turaka, fierce bounty hunters
this two part episode, is our discovery that Angel is needed for a spell, without it, Dru can't be whole again, there's a fracas with a few different creatures
Cordeila and Xander share their first kiss, while hiding in the Buffs basement from a man made of slugs, named Norman Pfister
They can't understand how it came to this, they both view it as an unwanted development but bond when they stomp on some bugs that had been that Mister.
Kendra is a ripple in the slayer pool something that happened when Buffy briefly died following the deadly fight last year
Spike becomes a cripple but still no fool, but Dru and he are on the other side now, he is sick she is healthy, Buffy and Co. are still not in the clear
A story about Joyce as she makes a new gentleman friend in a robot named Ted played by the late John Ritter
He is soon History, Buffy has no choice but to scrape the metal from this walking tin-can who can pretend he isn't dead but wasn't her father
Then everyone at school is given eggs as a training exercise to discuss raising children but this episode isn't given a top score
the story is lacking legs and that's a surprise and I would rather not diss anything but it's odd, that the villain is a giant Bezoar
But what that story was lacking, the next does make up for with something that's truly epic in scale and in scope
until now Buffy was a virgin, but the show has a shakeup that becomes something tragic, full of betrayal and no hope
Spike still nursing a grudge sends the Slayer a birthday gift of an arm, which soon tries to eliminate her
It's a piece of the Judge, a new player that lives to do harm and burn the humanity out of her
Buffy wanting to express her love for Angel, gives him a moment of pure happiness, a gateway to evil Angelus
the next morning he is no less than pure evil and forgets atonement for pure chaos, a straight play at wickedness
She unleashed something in her now ex boyfriend but she manages to destroy the Judge using a rocket launcher
Angel is now a beast, sex was the end of her exchanges with a "cute boy" she'll have to stop it now, it's torture.
Oz who had met Willow a while back finally learns the truth about the Hellmouth and is unfazed by the explanation she's got
after seeing a vampire attack, Willow explains what that was all about and she is amazed when he says "Actually this explains a lot".
Oz became her boyfriend but has his own secret, his monosyllabic slant masking a lupine form than happens in the full moon calendar
But he could be tame with the red head, she said it, "3 days out of the month I'm not much fun" and they shared their first kiss soon after
While romance blossomed with this new beau and Willow, Valentine's Day dawned and was particularly bad and harsh for Xander
Cordeila took the chance to show just how shallow she could be and broke their bond and he turned to the black arts to try and enchant her.
The spell went awry (as these things must) and every other woman in the town fall for Xanders singular charms to the point of obsession
He became "the guy", the spell was pure lust, even Dru part demon was in his thrall and he couldn't understand her non sequitur form of expression
The spell is reversed, but before that, even Joyce tries seduction on our hapless lothario, before rude Cordelia reasserts her dominance
Buffy is cursed and changed into a rat but Oz on Giles' instruction catches up with our hero in the nude but is a gentle man in the circumstance
Valentines not long faded when Angelus does an evil act and he has over the course of his long life done many
What Buffy accidentally created is something jealous of happiness and an evil force who kills Giles' beloved Jenny
Buffy is then put in a hospital a place she fears after a childhood trauma, Slayers can't be defeated by Flues
Next ghosts possess Angel and Buffy for their 50's melodrama and with them as players sort through a few issues.
Xander then goes undercover (though not under much) on the swim team to find out about some sea creatures, who are not what they seem
It turns out to be an evil swim coach with a grim scheme to mutate his athletes features with a drug put in some steam
Angel then unfurls his precise plan, after a few ordeals he is excited to for the demon Acathla to swallow the world into Hell, but Spike tells the Slayer
he isn't ready for the worlds demise, a world of leggy happy meals and Man United, he wants to help the Slayer defeat Angel, as for Dru, Buffy must spare her.
Normal mum Joyce found out what her daughter was doing at night even after washing out countless blood stains from shirts
She gave an ultimatum but Buffy had no choice, come Hell or High water she had to fight against the pain no matter how it hurt
So it came down to a huge sword fight between Buffy and Angelus where she sent him to Hell after one last liaison
She had to metaphorically cut the cord and leave by bus and that was how it ended, not very well for her, the second season.
************************************************** *******
"Anne" was an alias Buffy used while living in L.A., she was hoping she could escape her role.
The plan was to focus on the everyday while she was coping with the ache in her soul
But a man was preying on runaways making them working in a Hellish factory underground,
Soon she was again slaying, years could be days there but she was hurting and there was enough pain to go around
So she freed the people held there and even gave her fake name to one of them in need of an identity but this was after an impression of Ghandi
After some time to breathe she returned home to her friends. Things weren't the same, an air of animosity, she made it just in time for the "Dead Man's Party"
Still reeling from losing her beloved she began a causal thing with a boy named Scott who (pun aside) was a no hoper,
She just wasn't feeling it and as a potential fling or as something actually hot he was a total (and eventually snide) misnomer
Kendra's demise had the effect of another slayer being ripe and this one was rough and ready, her name was one of philosophy, Faith
Through her eyes everything was perfect, she envied Buffy's life but Buffs life was far from steady, this slayer would quickly start to grate.
Mr. Trick was also introduced but after a promising start he kind of petered out, a shame as he had more promise than most,
Not many episodes with him were produced, before a stake through the heart was meted out by Faith, just like his boss Kakistos
Women were being hounded (in the case of Oz literally) many tears, as the issue of domestic abuse was written with a supernatural metaphor
Angel returned after a hundred (in that place it was approximately) years, was now in situ in a rustic house hidden from the usual core.
Keeping her old flame a secret from her friends Buffy dived into the race for Homecoming Queen a stab at mind numbing normality,
Seeking to make a name for popularity ends Cordelia strives to get first place and begins gunning to nab the overrated Homecoming monarchy
In hot dresses and Stiletto heels both still lose the crown despite defeating a deluge, a variety of gross Demons sent after them by Mr. Tricks ruse and Machinations
And Mr. Harris and Willow imply how one another feels and go down a bad road of teenage impropriety, give into those feelings and wacky attractions.
The industrious Mr. Trick also met an interesting schemer at the head of Sunnydale's public office and the audience got some inkling,
that there was more to the illustrious Mayor, than a cheery demeanour and certainly no novice to darkness was Richard Wilkins
Then due to some mystic candy, sold at a reasonable price, the grownups, turn into teenagers, but it's not all smiles with police cars the place to get "groiny"
Giles is pretty quick to get randy, a no longer old and sensible Joyce had hand cuffs, while Giles dresses like one of the "Grease" stars, a punkish Danny.
A stuffy and quite pompous Watcher arrived to try and discipline the unruly Faith but that was merely a front to steal an enchanted glove
Buffy was furious when Xander berated her for hiding Angel , feeling none of them were truly safe and said that she couldn't trust how to feel, blinded by love
Himself and Faith eager to believe the worst set off to dispatch the vampire, Xander was prone to jealousy, and omitted a few facts, commanded Faith to "Kill, go!"
It was his own hate, ignoring that Angel had again been cursed, and his only desire was to atone for the misery and acts he had committed singlehanded(ly), but he did save Willow
A broken hearted Spike came back, to tell us screaming about how he was left following his pact with the Slayer to stop Dru from dying and to save this world,
The split started after she met a bloody chaos demon and they grew apart, now he was wallowing in the fact, trying to find a way to woo back his "should be in a grave" girl
Xander and Willow thinking they were going to die after Spike put them somewhere, gave into some hormone action just as Oz and Cordelia sped in to rescue them
Now they were in the know, about the slight affair, never scorn a vixen like Cordelia, she would make sure the days ahead that Xander would rue them.
Tracing her problems back to Buffy's arrival she made an idle wish to a new student named Anya saying how it'd be best if Buffy had never come to their town
Anya began recreating the world into one of survival, Sunnydale a cradle of anguish, where our Xander and Willow exist but were bloodthirsty vampire spawn
It took the efforts of the "white hats" Larry, Giles, Oz and scant others to defeat the Master when a certain Ms. Summers eventually came to help
Nice to see a few stalwarts, Angel still lived on rats, put through scary trials and tortures by Evil Willow who kept him in cellars, essentially as her "pup"
Giles became an "alternate world with Buffy" historian and was able to put things right back again by destroying Anya's charm,
He was again an affectionate if somewhat stuffy librarian, and they had the night back again and were out of harm
The timeline set right, even Cordelia seemed to be moving on, and the core gang resumed being good in the place they should exist as friends
Angel dreamt of a past night, something he was often brooding on, when he would consume human blood with fang, and he wished to make Amends
A man cursed with so much bloodshed on his conscience, he thought of suicide, awaiting the sun on a hill top
Driven by The First, he was led, by some evil nonsense, so overwrought but with Buffy by his side, fate weighed in and snow began to drop
It was weird since that Winter there had been a heat wave, wasn't cold and with a total lack of respect for the holiday Season
He had been spared by a curious weather save and Buffy told him that he must have come back for a more select non everyday reason
Buffy's Mom finds the bodies of two angelic children and takes a more proactive stance on the occult inferring that everyone has been too lax until now
The whole town becomes totalitarian and over reactive while in a trance , the result of the stirring up of fear by a demon who feeds on attacks from the crowd
Buffy turns eighteen and all she gets is more grief as Giles adheres to a Watchers rule and strips her of her singular strength, turning the Slayer into little Red Riding Hood,
Just this once she became the typical scream queen, reacting to threats and lacks self belief gives into her fears, she becomes a regular Clark Kent, from a battle, hiding is never good
Using her mind and wits, she passes the test set for her by the Council, the killing of the vicious psychopath Zachary Kralik
Giles can't abide secrets, and stresses how he detests the ritual, saying it is a nefarious act of arbitrary malice
After those Birthday blues, the characters play in what is without a doubt the funniest ever episode by far of the show which belongs in the Xander led comedy romp file
The good news is that with the Sister of Jhe about, Xander gets some honey interest for his uncles car and while trying to land her, a zombie does cramp his style
He helps raise the dead, finally stands up to a bully, saves everyone without them knowing, they're some serious sparks when he loses his virginity to Faith, concentration after it is vital
He leaves it all unsaid, never explains to them fully, while they were stopping the Hellmouth opening, it even gets top "Marx" from the muses for serendipity of the innate perfection of its title
Faith always on the outside looking in, tries to lead Buffy down the bad girl route, with some petty larceny
a trait Buffy usually finds unappealing but she does let greed momentarily tarnish her crown, she becomes mercenary
This bad girl act finally comes a cropper, when the Mayors aid gets in the way of a vamp fight and Faith stakes him by accident, she figures it won't hurt her "average"
They make a pact to lie to a suspicious copper, who can tell Buffs afraid and something isn't right, the effect on Faith is permanent, it triggers some serious internal damage
She allies herself with the Mayor in his plan for Ascension, dusting Mr. Trick as she takes his old job and makes a Faustian deal
She lies to everyone else, now a rogue Slayer, she has a new man who dotes on her with Fatherly attention, and although he is sick, his love for her is genuine and real
A new and bonafide Watcher was sent to curb Faiths more rebellious aspects, and his name was Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, but his tenure would be brief
He began as somewhat snide, he would eventually relent, and even have sex, but would remain, when it would come to a demon, precise but he wouldn't always be comic relief
Let me now say clearly at this troubled juncture that I adore Willow for reasons varied and she remains one of my favourite characters in fiction
Her naivety would endear her to me and here's a double feature with the sweet Willow and the scary one who likes chains, so as a story I savour it as Buffy perfection
Dark Willow created from Cordelias carless wish finds her way into the Buffyverse and wreaks havoc and in her leather turns a few heads along the way
The real thrill though was seeing a shyish hero have to play the part of the less fluffy pers-on and her ticks when playing Dark, she waves to her feller, says "And I think I'm kind of gay".
Angel had to pretend to be Angelus to expose Faiths treachery, he really threw himself into the role with gusto, relishing it enough to delight in hitting Xander
In the end they were able to suss that her supposed good traits was a strategy, she now knew Angel still had his soul and to trust no one, embellishing Angel quite the aspiring actor
After a fight with a mouth less creature Buffy gained a brand new ability, she could read minds, what seemed like a blessing soon became a curse
It was right out of this new feature that Buffy learned (damn telepathy) about her mom and Giles, it was distressing for her and could only get worse
The thoughts of the supporting cast were very telling, Xander was obsessed with sex (and bad at multiplication), Cordelia says anything that pops into her head without a filter
Willow starts to freak out fast, Oz as you may have guessed had thoughts subtle and very Zen, it starts to feel annoying but then she "hears" something that stops her dead, about a mass murder,
Someone in the school is planning on killing everyone, the "voice" is sad, full of woes and may be untrue, but it's left to the group, using detective work to find the culprit
Aside from a plan to pee in the pool, the Scoobies grilling unearths a bad "Dingoes ate my Baby" review, but no one conclusive or berserk enough to go through with it
It's then Buffy sees Jonathan in the clock tower with a gun, he was always a bit player in the background
He feels like he's nothing, with no power, a no ?one, he never registered with the Slayer at all before this run around
Buffy makes a speech to him on how everyone has their own inner pain and torment, but that people keep it locked up inside, and if you could hear them, it would make you deaf
With the gun out of reach, he says that mass murder wasn't his game, that before this moment he was planning suicide, total freedom, but thanks Buffy for her help
It turns out Xander was justified, with his position, it seemed like crazy paranoia but when he ducks out for some food we realise the Jonathan thing was a McGuffin
He's about the take a bite when he sees rat poison, it's the Lady from the cafeteria up to no good, he was right for once guys and "WHAT is a Mulligan?"
For his favourite Slayer, Wilkins gives Faith a gift so she can cause havoc, something from then on she wields and it's a pretty cool blade
The group clash with the Mayor, when they get their hands on the Box of Gavrok something he needs and Willow is captured for a trade
Willow stands up to Faith and dusts a vampire with a pencil, but still can't escape and a rendezvous is set, everyone expects and arrives ready for a fight, all but Snyder
whatever his plans, or what he wants to create, the box is essential, he looks at Buffy and Angel and feels D?j? Vu, he dissects their very different lives with an insightful lecture
Along with the home truths they lose the box but Willow produces pages she stole with plan details that she found so at least her time stuck there wasn't totally wasteful
The gang put on their best suits and frocks and decide to go with the other students to the Prom but there's a man training a hell hound, named Tucker, and for Cordy, Xander does something tasteful
Angel decides to break up with Buffy realising that it was inevitable, he must cut the cord he's the last person who can possess her but not before one last dance, a sweet poem of a sign off
Wearing their best make up the gang all look incredible and the senior Class give
a special award, that of Class protector to Buffy, Angel exists, an entrance for his own spin off
But miles to go before they sleep, Graduation day nears and everyone gets ready, The Mayor brazenly strolls into the library, a strong front and he enjoys it
Giles plunges his sword in to Wilkins deep, but despite Willows fears, she loses her virginity, as the Dark Slayer amazingly pulls another deadly stunt, Angel is poisoned
He needs the blood of a Slayer and unfortunately the other candidate, Faith, is put out of commission, so Buffy opts effectively to be the cure as long as he doesn't take too much from her,
He feels like this will betray her but no matter his hate for it, the scene has a certain weird passion, he then takes her to the Docs in the Emergency room, the gang need to quickly wake her
After some talk time with a comatose and hard to follow Faith, she wakes and has an ambitious plan to defeat the "obsessed with being cleaner" Mayor and his vampire posse
It will walk a fine line, and will depend on those, who can keep an arrow straight, they're going to tell every woman and man (who passed), take the whole senior year and make them a proper army
A huge war does break out when the Mayor starts to cramp but is really turning into a giant snake and starts to feed on whatever life and on an "I can't believe this is happening" Snyder
We see Cordelia take out a vampire, in a big human/vamp melee, but Faith made a mistake, when she left her knife, Buffy about Faiths stabbing "Just slid in her like she was butter".
Using the love of his surrogate daughter they lure him into the library which is filled to the brim with explosives and then we get a huge bang courtesy of Joss
It was enough to remind him of Faith to finally kill him and not being one for expletives all he could say when he saw Buffy's plan was "Well gosh".
The gang reminisce about the true battle that they survived and that was the pathway to life, the trials and tribulations of the High School experience,
Still reading this? You've some mettle because we've arrived half way through the smiles and situations; we've seen the gang through Adolescence
Well the show started to talk a lot more about sex from here on in, but don't worry it still steered through pop culture Slayage
It had to restate its metaphor for what came next, over the horizon, what about the next few years? The Scoobies next stop was the future and college!
To be continued...
I've effectively written an episode guide to Buffy but in the form of a very long poem. I'm aware it sounds like a strange thing to do but let me explain. I'm a writer and most predominantly a poet (or maybe lyricist might be a better term) and I've recently been enjoying the poetry of Ogden Nash, or the lyrics of Stephin Merrit and Cole Porter. So I've been honing my own lifelong love of word play and it was then I came up with the idea of writing a poem about Buffy. At first it would be just a fairly broad overview, a few verses which detailed the big events over the course of the series. But as I began to write I thought "Imagine if I could list every episode in this way." Could I write it so it would make sense, be grammatically correct, enjoyable and to keep a fairly solid rhyming scheme?
Now originally I wasn't going to be as stringent with the rhyming but that's part of the fun. Also grammatically I cut some corners (I'm not sure you can say "persona gratis in the know", but I did need a rhyme for "status quo", but come on! Cut me some slack! this was a hard thing to sustain!) Also sentence structure goes out the window, I mean
sentence length falls by the wayside with meter but again it's the spirit with the form I was trying to capture, not just pure form. Some lines work better than others but it varies due to the complexity of the story line or what needed to be said (also I must admit a wayward tendency with tenses but again, it was all how I was trying to keep it poetic. Think of it as a major use of poetic licence!)
I wanted the material to be quite dense, not only does it feature a TV chronology but it's peppered with in-jokes, references, even mild critiques, asides and so on. Basically it took on an (after) life of its own!
this was my attempt to marry one passion of mine to another passion of mine, not only a literary exercise, but as an unusual tribute to Buffy. Now with the very nature of it, I couldn't get everything in. Some things I wished I could have mentioned would
be Mr. Gordo, Larry coming out in "Phases", more about the Mayor or extra Jonathan but I did my best to get as much stuff in there as I could. Originally I was going to write the whole seven seasons but realised this was already going over ten pages so I chose to stop at the end of Season 3. It's part 1 (if anyone wishes to see a continuation I am currently working on it) but
I think it was the perfect place to stop at the end of their innocent school days, and with Angel and Cordelia having left for Angel. (Ironically I'm nowhere near "Once more, with Feeling" which would of course
be a huge influence on this piece of work.)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they are the property of Joss Whedon and all those wacky folk at Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox.
Feedback: Yes please, I welcome it.
I'm very proud of this and urge those who read it to spread it through fandom. This show means the world to me and this is my gift to all the people who love this show as much as I do.
Buffy The Poem
An imaginative (i.e. love to pretend) boy by the name of Whedon,
used his initiative (pun I intend) and gave us something to believe in.
He swept us into a world of horror, roads away from the studios of Karloff,
and left us, we nerds with a number of episodes so great, Kudos, we're better off
And for a wonderful seven years, we were there bearing the cross with the Buffster,
saw her getting pulled from heaven; saw many tears, until Joss said "Enough Sir".
But as the First masquerading as the Master said once while grinning,
to get fully immersed or to just wade in, it'd be a disaster not to go back to the beginning.
It's about a girl who was almost annihilated in some bizarre incident,
She found out the world was full of people exaggerated in the denture department
And she was Chosen, one in a long line, a warrior in the fight against evil but still just a teenager, a kid
She was Californian, totally of her time; nothing was scarier to her than falling off a cheerleader pyramid
and here she was suddenly with a destiny trust upon her, the weight of the world on her teenage shoulders
Of course she would sullenly agree and dust a vampire, the fate of this girl was to join a lineage of soldiers
So she moved to Sunnydale from LA, a fresh take on life, a new start to leave behind her foretold woes
She was hoping to never again have to slay, break flesh or stake a heart, out of sight/mind (to name one of the old shows)
So her first morning at Sunnydale high she was distractive to a boy who for that one and only time was on a skateboard,
This was after a warning from her mind's eye of a non reflective destroyer, a vision, a slayer sign of a vampire lord
What he had planned for her she still didn't know but it would be messy, something called the Harvest.
She met a boy Xander, a girl Willow, another guy named Jesse, and how they couldn't have guessed
that this new classmate would be all imbue-y to use the Buffy vernacular of a power and to be unique
and that, well two of them would be a great Scooby on this adventure for an hour every week
There was a neat metaphor about how High School is Hell through the fights,
It also had a pretty sweet score and only a high fool wouldn't watch Tuesday nights
There was also Giles, a Librarian well aware of Buffy's secret, he had his own role as her stern Watcher
a man of few smiles, a bit of a contrarian at the beginning when he wasn't "with it" would soon turn more like a father
Also an attractive stranger with huge collars gave Buffy a warning about the near future and what was rising
He seemed to know the danger, wasn't gone on colours, even with what he was wearing, how was his true nature surprising?
The Master began to feed on the people in the Bronze and since he was trapped, he had it done by proxy
but he wasn't counting on a new breed of people with the horror batons in hand, or a slayer being tapped who was so foxy
The Master was foiled for the time being and a brand new status quo was presented to the world at large
and now a number of people embroiled in Buffy's calling, "persona gratis", in the know and could help with her charge
Their second adventure had few stakes through hearts but that other horror staple, a villainous witch and her dealings
possessing a cheerleader, wearing very short skirts and Xander being unable to confess his true feelings
While Xander agonised over that, Willow was so cute over him, a secret crush she kept hidden for so long, but fate wouldn't grant this
He was then surprised, at a new Substitute teacher who seemed to coyly blush around him but he was wrong, she was a giant praying mantis!
Buffy then wanted to play the dating game and those seeds she began sowing despite Giles and his inevitable disapproval
Her crush was so fey, even a little lame (oh and unusually he actually breathes) his name was Owen, she had horrible Cordelia as a rival
That didn't work out too well for them, we'd soon learn Buffy hadn't the knack with juggling men and her "great" destiny
For Xander something else befell him he was possessed by Hyenas in a pack and after struggling with that, faked he lost his memory
Time for Angels secret to emerge, his fangs were drawn and Buffy "wigged" thinking he had bit Joyce her Mom
But he had a soul, sins to purge, Joyce was just a pawn in a rigged biting, Angel had a choice and stayed good all along
Darla was killed by her sire and Angel and Buffy, began a tentative relationship but promised to keep biting to a minimum
Willow was thrilled to have a boyfriend she thought was sensitive and computer hip, but it was a demon who called himself Malcolm
A demon hunter inhabiting the body of a ventriloquist doll next found its way to Sunnydale and despite being wooden he was some fighter
He stopped a murder happening and in a great twist wasn't evil but a typical male, so after some audience wrong footin' we get Snyder!
Buffy and the gang have their nightmares come alive for a brief time, something that was happening to the whole town.
Buffy becomes "friend of the fang", Willow is Madame Butterfly, can't sing a line while Xander runs from a scary clown
Ever felt so ignored you could vanish? Well then you're like Marcie who would go invisible from out of sight, out of mind
Someone the cool kids would banish, girl never invited to a party but this is where shallow Cordelia became more defined
And then a prophecy turned Buffy's world inside out, when it was fated that she would die at the hands of the Master
She couldn't deal properly and suffered serious self doubt, but then was reinvigorated after mouth to mouth from Xander
Back from the dead feeling stronger than ever, offing the Master was a breeze 'n' any thrall he had was gone, he had been thwarted
It has to be said, there was no cliff hanger, this was only the first season after all, but a second season was swiftly reported
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The Slayer returned after the Summer, with a bit of a 'tude, prancing around being mean, was it post traumatic stress after the first season?
A prayer was answered for Xander, but that's not cool dude, dancing with someone seen to have romantic interest, when she was just teasing
Then a Frankensteinish story about something pretty icky, dead girls to make a bride, called "Some Assembly required?"
The episode is give the ranking of D minus, subject matter is tricky for new spins or whirls on something so Shelley inspired
But the next tale gave us the villains we all grew to really like, a crazy vampire duo like a thriving Sid and Nancy having a good time in "School Hard"
a trail of destruction, Yep that's Dru and Spike, who killed any competition pronto and driving through the fancy Sunnydale sign became a calling card
Xander again found love with something supernatural, became a funny running joke of the series how scary a place was this alma mater
it wasn't enough that she had to kill to be beautiful, she was a mummy gunning for Xanders throat, yep this was his romance with "Ampata"
Some suspicious college boys took a shining to Cordelia and Buffy and literally invited them to the Frat party from Hell
it was part of devious ploys to sacrifice the girls to Machida a puffy and rather silly snake, that party was swell!
An old friend of Giles rolled into town with a costume shop that rendered the wearers whatever role they were dressed to play
All smiles ?til Ripper knocked him down in a room, he dropped and surrendered but still managed to be blessed enough to get away.
Oddly Halloween is boredom for the creatures of the night, so they stay in and let humans put on attire and imitate them
Billy "Ford" Fordham didn't have things so right, he figured out Buffy's slayin' and wanted a vampire to re create him
To stop himself from dying he hatched a plot totally unremorseful and heinous to trap Buffy in an underground bunker with Spike
But for all his trying, He totally forgot, that Buffs truly resourceful, she was furious he was such a sap but he got that immortal bite.
Jenny Calendar a computer teacher and techno pagan began to flirt with Giles, just as a demon took over her body
He wanted to date her, but before he could reach her, "Heck no!" thought Eyghon, and treated her like a specimen to study
The demon tried to hurt him while in control of Ms. Calendar, but Giles was able to finally move on and the gang saw he was flawed
It was seeing a different side to Rupert, a part of his soul, hard to handle it but after such trials he felt he had done wrong and was a fraud
But they forgave him as career day loomed and Buffy knew she'd lack a proper kind of future and station, bound as she was to her duty
She and Giles investigated a tomb with the name of Du Lac and while distracted by a vampire loses the one named Dalton who returns to Spike with some bounty
After breaking a code Spike plans Dru's recovery to get her well, by ordering a hit on our heroine by the Order of Turaka, fierce bounty hunters
this two part episode, is our discovery that Angel is needed for a spell, without it, Dru can't be whole again, there's a fracas with a few different creatures
Cordeila and Xander share their first kiss, while hiding in the Buffs basement from a man made of slugs, named Norman Pfister
They can't understand how it came to this, they both view it as an unwanted development but bond when they stomp on some bugs that had been that Mister.
Kendra is a ripple in the slayer pool something that happened when Buffy briefly died following the deadly fight last year
Spike becomes a cripple but still no fool, but Dru and he are on the other side now, he is sick she is healthy, Buffy and Co. are still not in the clear
A story about Joyce as she makes a new gentleman friend in a robot named Ted played by the late John Ritter
He is soon History, Buffy has no choice but to scrape the metal from this walking tin-can who can pretend he isn't dead but wasn't her father
Then everyone at school is given eggs as a training exercise to discuss raising children but this episode isn't given a top score
the story is lacking legs and that's a surprise and I would rather not diss anything but it's odd, that the villain is a giant Bezoar
But what that story was lacking, the next does make up for with something that's truly epic in scale and in scope
until now Buffy was a virgin, but the show has a shakeup that becomes something tragic, full of betrayal and no hope
Spike still nursing a grudge sends the Slayer a birthday gift of an arm, which soon tries to eliminate her
It's a piece of the Judge, a new player that lives to do harm and burn the humanity out of her
Buffy wanting to express her love for Angel, gives him a moment of pure happiness, a gateway to evil Angelus
the next morning he is no less than pure evil and forgets atonement for pure chaos, a straight play at wickedness
She unleashed something in her now ex boyfriend but she manages to destroy the Judge using a rocket launcher
Angel is now a beast, sex was the end of her exchanges with a "cute boy" she'll have to stop it now, it's torture.
Oz who had met Willow a while back finally learns the truth about the Hellmouth and is unfazed by the explanation she's got
after seeing a vampire attack, Willow explains what that was all about and she is amazed when he says "Actually this explains a lot".
Oz became her boyfriend but has his own secret, his monosyllabic slant masking a lupine form than happens in the full moon calendar
But he could be tame with the red head, she said it, "3 days out of the month I'm not much fun" and they shared their first kiss soon after
While romance blossomed with this new beau and Willow, Valentine's Day dawned and was particularly bad and harsh for Xander
Cordeila took the chance to show just how shallow she could be and broke their bond and he turned to the black arts to try and enchant her.
The spell went awry (as these things must) and every other woman in the town fall for Xanders singular charms to the point of obsession
He became "the guy", the spell was pure lust, even Dru part demon was in his thrall and he couldn't understand her non sequitur form of expression
The spell is reversed, but before that, even Joyce tries seduction on our hapless lothario, before rude Cordelia reasserts her dominance
Buffy is cursed and changed into a rat but Oz on Giles' instruction catches up with our hero in the nude but is a gentle man in the circumstance
Valentines not long faded when Angelus does an evil act and he has over the course of his long life done many
What Buffy accidentally created is something jealous of happiness and an evil force who kills Giles' beloved Jenny
Buffy is then put in a hospital a place she fears after a childhood trauma, Slayers can't be defeated by Flues
Next ghosts possess Angel and Buffy for their 50's melodrama and with them as players sort through a few issues.
Xander then goes undercover (though not under much) on the swim team to find out about some sea creatures, who are not what they seem
It turns out to be an evil swim coach with a grim scheme to mutate his athletes features with a drug put in some steam
Angel then unfurls his precise plan, after a few ordeals he is excited to for the demon Acathla to swallow the world into Hell, but Spike tells the Slayer
he isn't ready for the worlds demise, a world of leggy happy meals and Man United, he wants to help the Slayer defeat Angel, as for Dru, Buffy must spare her.
Normal mum Joyce found out what her daughter was doing at night even after washing out countless blood stains from shirts
She gave an ultimatum but Buffy had no choice, come Hell or High water she had to fight against the pain no matter how it hurt
So it came down to a huge sword fight between Buffy and Angelus where she sent him to Hell after one last liaison
She had to metaphorically cut the cord and leave by bus and that was how it ended, not very well for her, the second season.
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"Anne" was an alias Buffy used while living in L.A., she was hoping she could escape her role.
The plan was to focus on the everyday while she was coping with the ache in her soul
But a man was preying on runaways making them working in a Hellish factory underground,
Soon she was again slaying, years could be days there but she was hurting and there was enough pain to go around
So she freed the people held there and even gave her fake name to one of them in need of an identity but this was after an impression of Ghandi
After some time to breathe she returned home to her friends. Things weren't the same, an air of animosity, she made it just in time for the "Dead Man's Party"
Still reeling from losing her beloved she began a causal thing with a boy named Scott who (pun aside) was a no hoper,
She just wasn't feeling it and as a potential fling or as something actually hot he was a total (and eventually snide) misnomer
Kendra's demise had the effect of another slayer being ripe and this one was rough and ready, her name was one of philosophy, Faith
Through her eyes everything was perfect, she envied Buffy's life but Buffs life was far from steady, this slayer would quickly start to grate.
Mr. Trick was also introduced but after a promising start he kind of petered out, a shame as he had more promise than most,
Not many episodes with him were produced, before a stake through the heart was meted out by Faith, just like his boss Kakistos
Women were being hounded (in the case of Oz literally) many tears, as the issue of domestic abuse was written with a supernatural metaphor
Angel returned after a hundred (in that place it was approximately) years, was now in situ in a rustic house hidden from the usual core.
Keeping her old flame a secret from her friends Buffy dived into the race for Homecoming Queen a stab at mind numbing normality,
Seeking to make a name for popularity ends Cordelia strives to get first place and begins gunning to nab the overrated Homecoming monarchy
In hot dresses and Stiletto heels both still lose the crown despite defeating a deluge, a variety of gross Demons sent after them by Mr. Tricks ruse and Machinations
And Mr. Harris and Willow imply how one another feels and go down a bad road of teenage impropriety, give into those feelings and wacky attractions.
The industrious Mr. Trick also met an interesting schemer at the head of Sunnydale's public office and the audience got some inkling,
that there was more to the illustrious Mayor, than a cheery demeanour and certainly no novice to darkness was Richard Wilkins
Then due to some mystic candy, sold at a reasonable price, the grownups, turn into teenagers, but it's not all smiles with police cars the place to get "groiny"
Giles is pretty quick to get randy, a no longer old and sensible Joyce had hand cuffs, while Giles dresses like one of the "Grease" stars, a punkish Danny.
A stuffy and quite pompous Watcher arrived to try and discipline the unruly Faith but that was merely a front to steal an enchanted glove
Buffy was furious when Xander berated her for hiding Angel , feeling none of them were truly safe and said that she couldn't trust how to feel, blinded by love
Himself and Faith eager to believe the worst set off to dispatch the vampire, Xander was prone to jealousy, and omitted a few facts, commanded Faith to "Kill, go!"
It was his own hate, ignoring that Angel had again been cursed, and his only desire was to atone for the misery and acts he had committed singlehanded(ly), but he did save Willow
A broken hearted Spike came back, to tell us screaming about how he was left following his pact with the Slayer to stop Dru from dying and to save this world,
The split started after she met a bloody chaos demon and they grew apart, now he was wallowing in the fact, trying to find a way to woo back his "should be in a grave" girl
Xander and Willow thinking they were going to die after Spike put them somewhere, gave into some hormone action just as Oz and Cordelia sped in to rescue them
Now they were in the know, about the slight affair, never scorn a vixen like Cordelia, she would make sure the days ahead that Xander would rue them.
Tracing her problems back to Buffy's arrival she made an idle wish to a new student named Anya saying how it'd be best if Buffy had never come to their town
Anya began recreating the world into one of survival, Sunnydale a cradle of anguish, where our Xander and Willow exist but were bloodthirsty vampire spawn
It took the efforts of the "white hats" Larry, Giles, Oz and scant others to defeat the Master when a certain Ms. Summers eventually came to help
Nice to see a few stalwarts, Angel still lived on rats, put through scary trials and tortures by Evil Willow who kept him in cellars, essentially as her "pup"
Giles became an "alternate world with Buffy" historian and was able to put things right back again by destroying Anya's charm,
He was again an affectionate if somewhat stuffy librarian, and they had the night back again and were out of harm
The timeline set right, even Cordelia seemed to be moving on, and the core gang resumed being good in the place they should exist as friends
Angel dreamt of a past night, something he was often brooding on, when he would consume human blood with fang, and he wished to make Amends
A man cursed with so much bloodshed on his conscience, he thought of suicide, awaiting the sun on a hill top
Driven by The First, he was led, by some evil nonsense, so overwrought but with Buffy by his side, fate weighed in and snow began to drop
It was weird since that Winter there had been a heat wave, wasn't cold and with a total lack of respect for the holiday Season
He had been spared by a curious weather save and Buffy told him that he must have come back for a more select non everyday reason
Buffy's Mom finds the bodies of two angelic children and takes a more proactive stance on the occult inferring that everyone has been too lax until now
The whole town becomes totalitarian and over reactive while in a trance , the result of the stirring up of fear by a demon who feeds on attacks from the crowd
Buffy turns eighteen and all she gets is more grief as Giles adheres to a Watchers rule and strips her of her singular strength, turning the Slayer into little Red Riding Hood,
Just this once she became the typical scream queen, reacting to threats and lacks self belief gives into her fears, she becomes a regular Clark Kent, from a battle, hiding is never good
Using her mind and wits, she passes the test set for her by the Council, the killing of the vicious psychopath Zachary Kralik
Giles can't abide secrets, and stresses how he detests the ritual, saying it is a nefarious act of arbitrary malice
After those Birthday blues, the characters play in what is without a doubt the funniest ever episode by far of the show which belongs in the Xander led comedy romp file
The good news is that with the Sister of Jhe about, Xander gets some honey interest for his uncles car and while trying to land her, a zombie does cramp his style
He helps raise the dead, finally stands up to a bully, saves everyone without them knowing, they're some serious sparks when he loses his virginity to Faith, concentration after it is vital
He leaves it all unsaid, never explains to them fully, while they were stopping the Hellmouth opening, it even gets top "Marx" from the muses for serendipity of the innate perfection of its title
Faith always on the outside looking in, tries to lead Buffy down the bad girl route, with some petty larceny
a trait Buffy usually finds unappealing but she does let greed momentarily tarnish her crown, she becomes mercenary
This bad girl act finally comes a cropper, when the Mayors aid gets in the way of a vamp fight and Faith stakes him by accident, she figures it won't hurt her "average"
They make a pact to lie to a suspicious copper, who can tell Buffs afraid and something isn't right, the effect on Faith is permanent, it triggers some serious internal damage
She allies herself with the Mayor in his plan for Ascension, dusting Mr. Trick as she takes his old job and makes a Faustian deal
She lies to everyone else, now a rogue Slayer, she has a new man who dotes on her with Fatherly attention, and although he is sick, his love for her is genuine and real
A new and bonafide Watcher was sent to curb Faiths more rebellious aspects, and his name was Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, but his tenure would be brief
He began as somewhat snide, he would eventually relent, and even have sex, but would remain, when it would come to a demon, precise but he wouldn't always be comic relief
Let me now say clearly at this troubled juncture that I adore Willow for reasons varied and she remains one of my favourite characters in fiction
Her naivety would endear her to me and here's a double feature with the sweet Willow and the scary one who likes chains, so as a story I savour it as Buffy perfection
Dark Willow created from Cordelias carless wish finds her way into the Buffyverse and wreaks havoc and in her leather turns a few heads along the way
The real thrill though was seeing a shyish hero have to play the part of the less fluffy pers-on and her ticks when playing Dark, she waves to her feller, says "And I think I'm kind of gay".
Angel had to pretend to be Angelus to expose Faiths treachery, he really threw himself into the role with gusto, relishing it enough to delight in hitting Xander
In the end they were able to suss that her supposed good traits was a strategy, she now knew Angel still had his soul and to trust no one, embellishing Angel quite the aspiring actor
After a fight with a mouth less creature Buffy gained a brand new ability, she could read minds, what seemed like a blessing soon became a curse
It was right out of this new feature that Buffy learned (damn telepathy) about her mom and Giles, it was distressing for her and could only get worse
The thoughts of the supporting cast were very telling, Xander was obsessed with sex (and bad at multiplication), Cordelia says anything that pops into her head without a filter
Willow starts to freak out fast, Oz as you may have guessed had thoughts subtle and very Zen, it starts to feel annoying but then she "hears" something that stops her dead, about a mass murder,
Someone in the school is planning on killing everyone, the "voice" is sad, full of woes and may be untrue, but it's left to the group, using detective work to find the culprit
Aside from a plan to pee in the pool, the Scoobies grilling unearths a bad "Dingoes ate my Baby" review, but no one conclusive or berserk enough to go through with it
It's then Buffy sees Jonathan in the clock tower with a gun, he was always a bit player in the background
He feels like he's nothing, with no power, a no ?one, he never registered with the Slayer at all before this run around
Buffy makes a speech to him on how everyone has their own inner pain and torment, but that people keep it locked up inside, and if you could hear them, it would make you deaf
With the gun out of reach, he says that mass murder wasn't his game, that before this moment he was planning suicide, total freedom, but thanks Buffy for her help
It turns out Xander was justified, with his position, it seemed like crazy paranoia but when he ducks out for some food we realise the Jonathan thing was a McGuffin
He's about the take a bite when he sees rat poison, it's the Lady from the cafeteria up to no good, he was right for once guys and "WHAT is a Mulligan?"
For his favourite Slayer, Wilkins gives Faith a gift so she can cause havoc, something from then on she wields and it's a pretty cool blade
The group clash with the Mayor, when they get their hands on the Box of Gavrok something he needs and Willow is captured for a trade
Willow stands up to Faith and dusts a vampire with a pencil, but still can't escape and a rendezvous is set, everyone expects and arrives ready for a fight, all but Snyder
whatever his plans, or what he wants to create, the box is essential, he looks at Buffy and Angel and feels D?j? Vu, he dissects their very different lives with an insightful lecture
Along with the home truths they lose the box but Willow produces pages she stole with plan details that she found so at least her time stuck there wasn't totally wasteful
The gang put on their best suits and frocks and decide to go with the other students to the Prom but there's a man training a hell hound, named Tucker, and for Cordy, Xander does something tasteful
Angel decides to break up with Buffy realising that it was inevitable, he must cut the cord he's the last person who can possess her but not before one last dance, a sweet poem of a sign off
Wearing their best make up the gang all look incredible and the senior Class give
a special award, that of Class protector to Buffy, Angel exists, an entrance for his own spin off
But miles to go before they sleep, Graduation day nears and everyone gets ready, The Mayor brazenly strolls into the library, a strong front and he enjoys it
Giles plunges his sword in to Wilkins deep, but despite Willows fears, she loses her virginity, as the Dark Slayer amazingly pulls another deadly stunt, Angel is poisoned
He needs the blood of a Slayer and unfortunately the other candidate, Faith, is put out of commission, so Buffy opts effectively to be the cure as long as he doesn't take too much from her,
He feels like this will betray her but no matter his hate for it, the scene has a certain weird passion, he then takes her to the Docs in the Emergency room, the gang need to quickly wake her
After some talk time with a comatose and hard to follow Faith, she wakes and has an ambitious plan to defeat the "obsessed with being cleaner" Mayor and his vampire posse
It will walk a fine line, and will depend on those, who can keep an arrow straight, they're going to tell every woman and man (who passed), take the whole senior year and make them a proper army
A huge war does break out when the Mayor starts to cramp but is really turning into a giant snake and starts to feed on whatever life and on an "I can't believe this is happening" Snyder
We see Cordelia take out a vampire, in a big human/vamp melee, but Faith made a mistake, when she left her knife, Buffy about Faiths stabbing "Just slid in her like she was butter".
Using the love of his surrogate daughter they lure him into the library which is filled to the brim with explosives and then we get a huge bang courtesy of Joss
It was enough to remind him of Faith to finally kill him and not being one for expletives all he could say when he saw Buffy's plan was "Well gosh".
The gang reminisce about the true battle that they survived and that was the pathway to life, the trials and tribulations of the High School experience,
Still reading this? You've some mettle because we've arrived half way through the smiles and situations; we've seen the gang through Adolescence
Well the show started to talk a lot more about sex from here on in, but don't worry it still steered through pop culture Slayage
It had to restate its metaphor for what came next, over the horizon, what about the next few years? The Scoobies next stop was the future and college!
To be continued...