Challenge: Challenge #9, Part 2 -- Is there anyone here who hasn't slept together?
Title: The Great Roofie Spirit
Rating: R (language, sex)
Characters: Buffy, Xander, Giles
Setting: January 2004, shortly before Buffy’s 23rd birthday
Word Count: 2,055

“So, you never actually were a midget?”

Xander smiled without looking back at Buffy. She really seemed to have a hang-up on that one concept. “Nope, never experimented with the shortness. That was all a glamour.”

“He only did it when we came to get our rescue on?”

“If only,” Xander sighed. “I gave him some lip over Gary Oldman’s portrayal, and he did that as payback. He wasn’t a big fan of whoever the real Jonathan Harker was.”

“So… Dracula made you just look like a midget… in bloomers?” Buffy really rolled the word “bloomers” around in her mouth as she said it. “You haven’t, like, sworn blood vengeance on Gary Oldman over this dastardly illusion, have you?”

Xander stopped at the door of the large crypt they’d been looking for and turned to face Buffy. “You think I could take blood vengeance on Drexl from True Romance?” He asked it with a straight face, and then broke into a laugh. Buffy joined him, remembering how much he’d loved that movie when they watched it in high school, and all the time they spent quoting Brad Pitt’s stoner character.

Buffy stepped up to the crypt door next to him, still smiling. She was glad to see Xander in a good mood. The midget illusion was the least of her worries. She hadn’t heard from him for more than three months after he’d up and bolted for Transylvania, and when she’d assaulted Dracula’s castle, she’d meant to stake the bastard however many hundred times it took to get her friend back. There’d really been no fighting to it, and the anti-climax had left her with a lot of anxiety over him.

“This is the one Giles said,” Buffy confirmed, running her left hand over the marble column at the door. The UK has a higher class of cemetery than Sunnydale did, she thought, and not for the first time. “The capsaicin demon nests here.”

“The demon’s made of hot sauce?” Xander asked, looking genuinely confused.

“It sounded like capsaicin,” Buffy shrugged. She’d long since given up trying to remember how to pronounce the kill-y things names. It should just be plunge and move on, after all.

“Let me check in with Giles to be sure what we’re up against,” Xander said. Buffy watched him as he dialed from a cellphone clipped to his belt and held a finger up to his shiny new Bluetooth receiver. His new look was agreeing with him, a sort of techno-Watcher chic. He had on black Army-style pants with an elastic cuff around his boots. It was unseasonably warm, so he had on a black muscle shirt and a light grey jacket over it. His time at Dracula’s had not done him any harm in terms of being in shape, she couldn’t help but think. He had actually reminded her a little of Riley when she had seen him putting on his various gadgets and tools to go on patrol with her tonight.

Xander could tell even as the phone rang to Giles that the connection would be bad because of the way the ringer was fading in and out. As he waited for Giles to pick up, he couldn’t help but look Buffy up and down appreciatively. It wasn’t the first time he had and wouldn’t be the last, but the sight was always a rich, new experience. The winter night was abnormally warm, and the Slayer was wearing light sweat pants, and a white tank top pulled over an athletic bra. Her hair was pulled back in simple pony-tail. Buffy still had her sense of fashion in general, but with things as busy as they were setting up their new headquarters – their new world, really – Xander had only seen her patrolling in really functional clothing in the weeks he’d been back.

Giles voice cut in and distracted Xander from his staring. “Xander, have you located the tomb?”

Chipper as always, Xander thought. Giles had been all over the place lately, hard to get a hold of, and when you could, the former Watcher didn’t seem to have much patience for you. “Yeah, we’re here. Really looking forward to some idea on how to kill this thing before we open the door, though. Or, y’know, what it is?”

“The Cavsyalazin Entrancer, Xander, if you’d bothered with the file,” Giles answered impatiently. His voice was cutting out in spots, the connection terrible out in the remote cemetery. “It – fire from its – ertips, and the most import—t thing is its breath can cause states of extre— emot—al – al. But most importan– effects are – to be permanent. You mustn’t allow it to escape alive, do you under –?”

Xander’s mouth hung open in completely confusion as he pushed his earpiece against his ear hard out of reflex. Understand? That we need better phones?

“Giles, we got the kill it part, and fire, can you try again, though?” Xander raised his voice as the signal continued to fail. “Giles? Did you mute the phone again?”

Without any answer, the line cut out. Xander checked the phone on his hip and saw that the service had gone completely.

“What? What did he say?” Buffy interjected while Xander was frowning at his utility belt or whatever he liked to sport these days. She watched him fidgeting with it, a little impatient to just go kill the thing already.

“I dunno,” Xander muttered. “He said the demon could do a fire thing. He said something about its breath causing… something.”

Buffy sighed. “A vaguely oniony smell? I don’t think we need to wait while you fix your speak and spell just to kill the halitosis beast.”

Xander laughed and looked up at her, nodding. “Probably right, Buff. Well, happy birthday; you always say, ‘fire pretty’”.

“Fire angry!” Buffy grinned in response, kicking open the door and leaping into the crypt, Xander right behind her.


“It was a hot sauce demon!” Xander complained, putting out the smoldering tatters of his button down shirt out with his shoe. “Spicy Szechuan favorite shirt all over the place.”

Buffy laughed as she began hacking up the demon. She still liked new and interesting fights, but never liked them popping back up and attacking again. “Best birthday demon ever, Xan,” she laughed, “hey, you’ve got a birthday coming up. Flame retardant shirts? How long are you in the sleeve?”

Buffy was still giving him a teasing smile when she leaned down to cut off the demon’s head. Before she could, though, it suddenly popped its head of and blew in her face. A dust flew from its mouth, and when it turned its head, Xander got a mouthful of the dust as well as he rushed to help Buffy.

“Buffy!” he called out, both of them starting to cough reflexively.

Buffy gasped as Xander touched her shoulder. Not in pain, but rather a completely unexpected feeling. His hand felt warm, vibrant against her arm. What the hell?

Xander felt it too, a tingle through his palm as he made contact with the Slayers smooth skin. “Are you okay?” he whispered hoarsely.

“Yeah,” Buffy nearly moaned in reply, her hands reaching up to caress his face, barely rough with a day’s stubble. She had no idea what was going on, but this rush had come over her, this intense heat. “Xander, are you using some kind of new… aftershave?”

Xander’s hands quickly snuck up around Buffy’s back as they crouched on the floor of the crypt together. “I don’t wear any…” he mumbled as their lips came together, hungrily kissing at each other.

“Xander,” Buffy gasped between their lips, around their tongues, “what the hell is happening?”

“Oh no,” Xander breathed, his fingers pulling out Buffy’s ponytail and curling into her hair, “Giles… said the breath could cause… mmm… extreme emotional something or other.”

“That’s awful,” Buffy lamented breathily, pulling Xander’s shirt over his head and kissing his chest. “It’s a terrible, terrible evil attack.”

Xander moaned in agreement around her lips as he pulled Buffy down on top of him on the floor of the crypt.

“How long… will it last… ohhhh… we have to hold out, Xander…”

Xander’s hands found the seam of Buffy’s shirt and began pulling her tank and sports bra off together. “Giles said it was… permanent…. Ohhh.”

Buffy moaned in response, trying to feel afraid of the news as she reached down to pull Xander’s pants down, but at that moment, the news thrilled her.


Buffy and Xander couldn’t take their eyes off each other as they left the crypt, flushed from their reckless lovemaking. Ugh! Worst poison breath ever! Buffy thought, despite the fact that she was still staring at his arms as he pulled his shirt back on. He really had gotten in shape in Transylvania, she realized.

Xander admired Buffy’s legs, the curve of her backside in her tightish warm-up pants. He wanted her again already. It was the breath, he knew, the stupid breath had made them hot for each other. It was about the dumbest bit of demon self defense he had ever come across, but there it was – he and Buffy would be hot for each other permanently.

“Xander,” Buffy began, still taking deep breaths. They’d been in there at least an hour. “We have to fight this. We’re going to have be work together, we’re best friends, we can’t just give into this ****bunny impulse for the rest of our lives because some Slayers Gone Wild demon made it so.”

Xander caressed her back lazily as they walked back to their Land Rover.

“You’re right, Buffy. We’ll find a way to fight this. We’re not doing the sex-ghost battery thing, we just won’t.

Five minutes later they were in the car. Six minutes later it was rocking.


It was nearly six hours later back at their new castle headquarters. Only a few Slayers had moved in, although many were flying in for Buffy’s birthday party. They had it all to themselves, and had been proving it. On the side of the road. In the training room. In their new command center. And now in Buffy’s bed.

Buffy was riding Xander ferociously, slamming her bed against the masonry walls as she screamed in ecstasy as they pawed and kissed at each other.

Rolling off of him, they lay in bed, panting together.

“Nope. We’re not slaves to anything. Not anything,” Xander breathed, laughing a little.

“Best demon ever,” Buffy mumbled, snuggling against him. “How haven’t we done this before?”

“It’s just… we can’t fight it, y’know? Something took hold of us and it won’t let go…” Xander’s words were being cut off as Buffy started kissing him. He felt himself ready for yet another round, hardening against her. “I mean… we’re always hot for each other at spell time. Why not have it this way? It’s never going to go away, after all…”

As Xander climbed between her legs, he slid inside her, making them both moan in delight. As he began to move with her, her phone rang. They paused for a moment, giggling awkwardly.

When the voice started on the machine, it was Giles. “Oh, good, at least the machine picked up,” he mumbled. “Buffy, I got cut off by our cretaceous era phones when I was talking to Xander. I’m sure you’ll be back soon from fighting the demon, but I wanted to reassure you in case I was cut off. The demon’s breath can provoke strong states of… arousal. But, I assure you, the effects are not permanent. They are said to wear off in as little as fifteen minutes. Anyway, please let me know how it’s gone, and tell Xander to talk to me about new phones.”

Giles clicked off the line. For a moment, Buffy and Xander just stared at each other, him looking down into her eyes. Then the laughter came. Then he was rocking into her again, them both grinning with delight.

“It’s never going to go away,” Buffy mocked as her pleasure continued to build. Xander knew she was right as he felt Buffy’s legs lock around his back. Maybe they’d be over it in the morning – he probably wouldn’t be able to walk for a day – but something here was never going to go away.