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1066 and all that: a Giles ficlet

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  • 1066 and all that: a Giles ficlet

    Author's Note: Appologies to Giles for implying that he was not always the best speller...but I'm imagining him to be about 11 or 12 when he wrote this, and even the cleverest kids can sometimes have a few words they stumble on, right?




    The History of the Watcher's Counsil of Great Britain ?a book report by Rupert Giles


    In school this week we are reading a book in history about the history of the counsil called The History of the Watcher's Counsil of Great Britain. The best bits of the book are about Ancient Rome. The counsil used to be in Rome and all sorts of other places before it was in England where it is now. In those days the counsil used gladiators to train some slayers because they were so tough and strong (the gladiators were I mean. Though obviously the slayers were too).

    I also like the bit where Queen Bess banishes the counsil leaders because she thinks they are in league with the Catholics but they aren't (although they used to be, it's jolly confusing) and in the end they get pardoned and a young watcher called James Demontfort gets knighted for saving the Queen from a vampire! It is very exciting and I should like to get knighted for saving people from vampires too. I don't see why we have to have slayers to do that for us. Slayers are girls after all.

    This is the story that is told in the book. Before history began people think that the Council started out with some men in Africa. No one really knows where they lived but most historians agree it was in a dessert region, maybe in the Sudan. It is very hot there and most people were savidges but the men who started the counsil were not they were very clever and knew magic. They were what is known as noble savidges, Mr Phibbs said. They made the first slayer and made she she did what she was told.

    We don't really know what happened next because it isn't written down so it's not history, it's just a story. We are not sure why they stopped being Africans. It might be because the wise men in Africa fought with some other men in another country when they went to find the next slayer. There are some paintings in Egypt that might be about the fights they had. I wish we knew more about this but we don't.

    But we do know that there were definitely watchers (or men like them) in Ancient Babylon, because they were very powerful there and used to give advice to kings there as well as training slayers.

    In those days kings and other leaders used to believe in vampires. I think kings were cleverer then than they were when they stopped believing in vampires. It didn't say anything about this in the book but I think maybe the queen does know about vampires but she doesn't let on in case everyone bothered her about it and made her go and hunt vampires instead of grice.

    The book says that ancient druids might have been watchers, but not proper ones like we have now because they behaved badly and used to sacrifice people to their gods.

    The first things we really know about the proper counsil is that a group of men in Ancient Greece decided to organise things properly and make things make sense. A man called Socrates, who was a famous philosopher was also working together with some other men to fight evil. They were called the Peripatetic Council of Watchers (only in ancient Greek which we don't start learning til next half) and a lot of people thought they were silly because they said that the Greek Gods weren't the only gods. After that the counsil went underground and did not tell the public what it was doing. This was a good idea because otherwise people might have asked too many questions and tried to interfere.

    When the Ancient Romans started to rule the world, the counsil moved there. The counsil changed its name to the Imperial Counsil of Watchers but the watchers weren't all Roman. There was definitely one African in the counsil, and some Chinese men too. A man called Augustus who was in charge of the Roman empire found out about the counsil and put some of them to death. This might have been a bit because they were foreigners.

    They decided they needed to be even more secret in future and pretended to be priests for the goddess Diana. This was fitting because Diana is a hunter and so is the slayer. She is also a virgin, but I'm not sure what that is. The Imperial Counsil of Watchers got rid of the foreign watchers and kept it just as Romans because that made it easier for them to stay secret.

    The middle of the book was not so interesting because it talked a lot about religion and how Rome became religious (it just had gods before which was like religion only not proper religion like you learn about in Church). It talked a lot about the Pope too, in the middle ages, and how the council worked with the Church but then they had a row. This was because the Roman Counsil of Watchers (which was its name later ? it was hard to keep up with all the names in the book) used to get Priests to bless lots of water to use as weapons and the Pope did not like this because they were his Priests.

    Also, there was something about "unnatural acts" among members of the Council but that wasn't really talked about in the book so I'm not quite sure what it was about. Maybe it was about not liking nature walks and preferring acting? I don't much like nature walks and I do like the theatre, especially plays with pirates in like the Gilbert and Sullivan one, so perhaps the Pope would not like me either! That is ok as I do not much like the Pope as he has God on his side but he does not lift a finger to fight vampires, even though he has all those crosses lying around. I think he and the Queen (who also has God on her side though I'm not sure how they both can as they are on different teams) are rotters because of this.

    After the Counsil stopped working with the Catholic Church they came to England because the Tudors agreed to help them hide from Pope. That is when they became the Watchers Council of England, which is almost the same as it is today, but it wasn't until 1750 that it became called the Watcher's Counsil of Great Britain which is exactly the same as it is today.

    Before today and after the Tudor bit of history, there wasn't much exciting that happened, because all the counsil was in England, which is not as exciting as foreign parts. There is one exsepsion though ? during the world wars the counsil helped a lot secretly. Hitler had lots of vampire soldiers and werewolves and things, so the watchers were able to help Churchill beat the Nazis (and the other Germans before they were Nazis) with their knowledge. The slayers at the time did not actually fight in the war officially so she didn't win any medals, but she did help out a bit too. Not as much as the counsil though, because the counsil have tactics and the slayer is just a girl.

    I liked some of this book a lot but I think it should be shorter and not have so much about religion and politics (there was a lot about the whigs and the tories which was dull). I think there should be more descriptions of fights between watchers and vampires. It would be more interesting to boys then and we would be keener to become watchers when we are older because of this book, if it did not have the tiresome parts.


    -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --
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