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Title: The Sunnydale Tapes
Disclamer: I have no rights whatsoever on anything Joss & co came up with first or david lynch come to that.
Setting: Some years before the events of season 1
Description: an attempt at a buffy/twin peaks crossover.
__________________________________________________ _______________
To: Assistant Director Skinner
From: Special Agent Booth
Sir.
What follows is a transcript of tapes recorded by Special Agent Dale Cooper. These tapes were addressed to his secretary but were intercepted by myself before they could reach their destination as you requested.
I advise that what follows is classified as top secret:
Diane, 1:37 in the afternoon, September 15. It's 76 degrees on a beautiful cloudless day here in southern California and I'm approximately fifteen miles outside the town of Sunnydale population 39'753. This will be the last stop of my vacation and I hope to be back in the welcoming arms of the F.B.I pretty soon.
The American Riviera has certainly not disappointed Diane. Highlights, as you know, were the Museum of Failed Presidential candidates, the kangaroo steaks at the cold spring tavern and the Moreton Bay Fig. Diane, I'll say it again. That was one big tree.
Sunnydale itself holds no such attraction. Just another average example of small town America. There is one statistical anomaly that intrigues me though; it has twelve separate cemeteries. I can't help wondering why.
Diane, the time is 8:11 am, September 16. I'm just leaving the Sunnydale Arms, a small but homey hotel that provides basic comforts at a very reasonable price. Breakfast consisted of two eggs, over easy; sausage, and bacon so crispy it could be considered a deadly weapon. I also drank approximately one third of a cup of the thinnest, sourest coffee I have had the misfortune to taste. It seems like a beautiful California day and I'm headed out to have a good look round Sunnydale. See if I can track down why it needs so many Gaveyards.
Diane, I'm currently seated in a place called ?The espresso pump', an open sided coffee house that allows what little breeze there is to waft the scent of freshly ground coffee out to the neighbouring streets. Damn fine coffee they serve here too Diane, strong, black and silky smooth. No pie though. I have spent the largest part of this morning trying to familiarise myself with the town which has proven a little trickier than you might think. The town is a maze Diane.
It looks like any other small town, a couple of high schools, cinema, and an array of thriving small businesses. Then I discovered the college campus, the army base, the docks, and no less than 43 churches; at which point I started to become a little disoriented. Just when I think I have a basic idea of where everything is something new turns up and none of it seems to fit together.
There's something about the people here too. There's a fear behind their eyes. I get the impression that there's something they know but aren't telling? or maybe something they're afraid to know.
Diane, it's 7:53 on the morning of the 17th. I have just finished another superb breakfast at the Sunnydale arms, minus the coffee of course, and I'm about to head to the local newspaper office. I figure that whatever is spooking the general populace might just have proved newsworthy at some point. If the people won't talk then this could be my best shot to find out a little more about this place.
Diane, I'm now leaving the offices of the ?Sunnydale Press' a provincial newspaper with a relatively small but dedicated readership and from what little I have seen, excellent sports coverage. My visit has left me very disturbed Diane. From what I've managed to piece together there seems to have been an unusually large amount of unsolved murders and missing person cases. Victims are usually young, a lot of them school or college age and most attacks seem to happen at night. There also seems to be vague reports of neck trauma in most of the cases. My first thought was that this was the work of a serial killer Diane, but the reports indicate that that the attacks have been occurring for far too long to be the work of just a single individual.
Diane it's now 4:30pm I have just left the Sunnydale police department headquarters. My visit to the local law enforcement institution has not been fruitful. From what I can ascertain the local officers have an almost wilful disregard for what, to me, is an obvious series of crimes. The chief of police, a thoroughly dislikeable man, is not willing to launch an official investigation or to cooperate with my requests for information in any way. As I am vacationing and therefore not officially representing the bureau at this time I am therefore severely limited in my choice of action. I mentioned that I may take the case up directly with the mayor which seemed to amuse the chief greatly. I plan to retire to my hotel room for the remainder of the evening and contact the bureau in the morning.
Diane It is 2:03am. I am lying in my bed at the Sunnydale Arms. I have just awoken from an extremely bizarre dream. I was in some kind of library or book store. I made my way through a maze of crowded shelves for what seemed like hours, eventually coming to an opening shrouded in some kind of red material. A strange little man with a tray of cheese held back these swathes of cloth revealing an octagonal room. In the middle of this room was a table laid out with open books and sat at the table was a man wearing a tweed suit, cleaning his spectacles with a white handkerchief. Somehow I found myself sat down at the opposite side of the table and the man smiled a tight but not unfriendly smile.
"All the better for watching with" He said to me, I took it he meant the glasses.
"Watching who?" I asked
"She who will come" He said "She who will change it, she who will save us all"
I became aware of the sound of shrill laughter and from behind the man two children came running; a dark haired boy in a pirate costume and a redheaded girl dressed as a witch. The girl chased the boy around the table both laughing wildly.
"Is she the one?" I asked
"No" he replied, looking at the girl sadly. "Her path is different"
I looked back at the girl and saw hair had changed from red to jet black and her eyes were solid orbs of darkness. "Then who is this ?She that will come'?" I asked him.
He rose and pointed behind me, his actions echoed by the two children who now flanked him. I turned to see a bright white light gleaming from what looked like a barren desert. The light coalesced and it seemed I could make out a female figure within it. The shape changed rapidly, one second a painted savage then a slave girl, a noble woman, a Native American, a Chinese girl with a long slim sword. Finally the glow seemed to coalesce into the form of a blonde girl in modern dress holding some kind of battle axe. She stared directly at me and I was impressed with a strong feeling of amazing power. The girl held my gaze for a long silent moment, her eyes grave. Then slowly and deliberately she gave me a wink.
That was when I woke up Diane.
Diane the time is 9:42 September 18. I have just contacted the bureau and explained my investigations here in Sunnydale. In response I am being immediately recalled to Washington where I am to make a full report on my findings. I still cannot shake last nights dream Diane. I have the distinct feeling that I have been given some kind of message, something important that could shape the future of more than this small town. What that message is? perhaps only time will tell
Diane, I have just passed the small colourful sign that signifies my departure from the town of Sunnydale. I must admit that my leaving both saddens and frustrates me. It is my earnest hope that I will be allowed to return to this strange little town with full agency backing to launch an official investigation into its mysteries, although I believe there has been further development in the Teresa Banks case which may require my more immediate attention. I have one final note of strangeness to report Diane, as I drove along the town's main street I thought I caught a familiar sight: two children... a dark haired boy and a redheaded girl.
As discussed I have arranged for a copy of this document to be sent directly to Professor Walsh and her team and have arranged for agents to be kept on alert in the vicinity to facilitate swift action should the chance arise to recruit a ?special operative'.
Booth.
__________________________________________________ _______________
Disclamer: I have no rights whatsoever on anything Joss & co came up with first or david lynch come to that.
Setting: Some years before the events of season 1
Description: an attempt at a buffy/twin peaks crossover.
__________________________________________________ _______________
To: Assistant Director Skinner
From: Special Agent Booth
Sir.
What follows is a transcript of tapes recorded by Special Agent Dale Cooper. These tapes were addressed to his secretary but were intercepted by myself before they could reach their destination as you requested.
I advise that what follows is classified as top secret:
_____
Diane, 1:37 in the afternoon, September 15. It's 76 degrees on a beautiful cloudless day here in southern California and I'm approximately fifteen miles outside the town of Sunnydale population 39'753. This will be the last stop of my vacation and I hope to be back in the welcoming arms of the F.B.I pretty soon.
The American Riviera has certainly not disappointed Diane. Highlights, as you know, were the Museum of Failed Presidential candidates, the kangaroo steaks at the cold spring tavern and the Moreton Bay Fig. Diane, I'll say it again. That was one big tree.
Sunnydale itself holds no such attraction. Just another average example of small town America. There is one statistical anomaly that intrigues me though; it has twelve separate cemeteries. I can't help wondering why.
_____
Diane, the time is 8:11 am, September 16. I'm just leaving the Sunnydale Arms, a small but homey hotel that provides basic comforts at a very reasonable price. Breakfast consisted of two eggs, over easy; sausage, and bacon so crispy it could be considered a deadly weapon. I also drank approximately one third of a cup of the thinnest, sourest coffee I have had the misfortune to taste. It seems like a beautiful California day and I'm headed out to have a good look round Sunnydale. See if I can track down why it needs so many Gaveyards.
_____
Diane, I'm currently seated in a place called ?The espresso pump', an open sided coffee house that allows what little breeze there is to waft the scent of freshly ground coffee out to the neighbouring streets. Damn fine coffee they serve here too Diane, strong, black and silky smooth. No pie though. I have spent the largest part of this morning trying to familiarise myself with the town which has proven a little trickier than you might think. The town is a maze Diane.
It looks like any other small town, a couple of high schools, cinema, and an array of thriving small businesses. Then I discovered the college campus, the army base, the docks, and no less than 43 churches; at which point I started to become a little disoriented. Just when I think I have a basic idea of where everything is something new turns up and none of it seems to fit together.
There's something about the people here too. There's a fear behind their eyes. I get the impression that there's something they know but aren't telling? or maybe something they're afraid to know.
_____
Diane, it's 7:53 on the morning of the 17th. I have just finished another superb breakfast at the Sunnydale arms, minus the coffee of course, and I'm about to head to the local newspaper office. I figure that whatever is spooking the general populace might just have proved newsworthy at some point. If the people won't talk then this could be my best shot to find out a little more about this place.
_____
Diane, I'm now leaving the offices of the ?Sunnydale Press' a provincial newspaper with a relatively small but dedicated readership and from what little I have seen, excellent sports coverage. My visit has left me very disturbed Diane. From what I've managed to piece together there seems to have been an unusually large amount of unsolved murders and missing person cases. Victims are usually young, a lot of them school or college age and most attacks seem to happen at night. There also seems to be vague reports of neck trauma in most of the cases. My first thought was that this was the work of a serial killer Diane, but the reports indicate that that the attacks have been occurring for far too long to be the work of just a single individual.
_____
Diane it's now 4:30pm I have just left the Sunnydale police department headquarters. My visit to the local law enforcement institution has not been fruitful. From what I can ascertain the local officers have an almost wilful disregard for what, to me, is an obvious series of crimes. The chief of police, a thoroughly dislikeable man, is not willing to launch an official investigation or to cooperate with my requests for information in any way. As I am vacationing and therefore not officially representing the bureau at this time I am therefore severely limited in my choice of action. I mentioned that I may take the case up directly with the mayor which seemed to amuse the chief greatly. I plan to retire to my hotel room for the remainder of the evening and contact the bureau in the morning.
_____
Diane It is 2:03am. I am lying in my bed at the Sunnydale Arms. I have just awoken from an extremely bizarre dream. I was in some kind of library or book store. I made my way through a maze of crowded shelves for what seemed like hours, eventually coming to an opening shrouded in some kind of red material. A strange little man with a tray of cheese held back these swathes of cloth revealing an octagonal room. In the middle of this room was a table laid out with open books and sat at the table was a man wearing a tweed suit, cleaning his spectacles with a white handkerchief. Somehow I found myself sat down at the opposite side of the table and the man smiled a tight but not unfriendly smile.
"All the better for watching with" He said to me, I took it he meant the glasses.
"Watching who?" I asked
"She who will come" He said "She who will change it, she who will save us all"
I became aware of the sound of shrill laughter and from behind the man two children came running; a dark haired boy in a pirate costume and a redheaded girl dressed as a witch. The girl chased the boy around the table both laughing wildly.
"Is she the one?" I asked
"No" he replied, looking at the girl sadly. "Her path is different"
I looked back at the girl and saw hair had changed from red to jet black and her eyes were solid orbs of darkness. "Then who is this ?She that will come'?" I asked him.
He rose and pointed behind me, his actions echoed by the two children who now flanked him. I turned to see a bright white light gleaming from what looked like a barren desert. The light coalesced and it seemed I could make out a female figure within it. The shape changed rapidly, one second a painted savage then a slave girl, a noble woman, a Native American, a Chinese girl with a long slim sword. Finally the glow seemed to coalesce into the form of a blonde girl in modern dress holding some kind of battle axe. She stared directly at me and I was impressed with a strong feeling of amazing power. The girl held my gaze for a long silent moment, her eyes grave. Then slowly and deliberately she gave me a wink.
That was when I woke up Diane.
_____
Diane the time is 9:42 September 18. I have just contacted the bureau and explained my investigations here in Sunnydale. In response I am being immediately recalled to Washington where I am to make a full report on my findings. I still cannot shake last nights dream Diane. I have the distinct feeling that I have been given some kind of message, something important that could shape the future of more than this small town. What that message is? perhaps only time will tell
_____
Diane, I have just passed the small colourful sign that signifies my departure from the town of Sunnydale. I must admit that my leaving both saddens and frustrates me. It is my earnest hope that I will be allowed to return to this strange little town with full agency backing to launch an official investigation into its mysteries, although I believe there has been further development in the Teresa Banks case which may require my more immediate attention. I have one final note of strangeness to report Diane, as I drove along the town's main street I thought I caught a familiar sight: two children... a dark haired boy and a redheaded girl.
_____
As discussed I have arranged for a copy of this document to be sent directly to Professor Walsh and her team and have arranged for agents to be kept on alert in the vicinity to facilitate swift action should the chance arise to recruit a ?special operative'.
Booth.
__________________________________________________ _______________