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"So, why is Buffy sleeping with Satsu anyway, if she's not gay? I don't get it." said Andrew.
He was sitting on the windowsill of the castle while Dawn, in all her giantessness, was sitting out in the orchard. Luckily, though she lacked proportional strength, she did have proportional hearing. Spells are wacky that way.
"Let's just say, my sister still has a few issues," Dawn replied. She would normally take the "people aren't just in little boxes and seriously Andrew, the things you don't understand about sexuality could fill the entire Atlantic ocean" line but she was feeling pretty pissed at Buffy, who was pretty much ignoring her at the moment. Which was some feat, given her size.
Andrew threw his hands up in the air dramatically. "Issues? She has trade paperbacks! She has special omnibus edition volumes!"
"Trade huh? No one knows what you're talking about Andrew," Dawn sighed, and the tree closest to her bent in the wind that generated. "Except for Xander, and he has the decency to be ashamed about it. And you don't get to insult my sister."
"But you were?"
"a) Only I get to insult my sister. And b)?you were, like, evil up til last year. You don't have insult rights."
"Willow was evil."
"Yeah, but she stopped before you did. Plus, she's also awesome and sweet and can fly and she saved my life and everybody's lives a bunch of times."
"I've saved lives! I started saving lives even before I was redeemed and subsequently given command status within our organisation. Which?when am I going to get an official title and a smart uniform to impress the?" Andrew stopped himself and pouted. "I want a uniform!"
"No titles, no uniforms," Dawn reminded him. "It's how Buffy wants it."
"Something tells me the Slayer of Slayers knows not what she wants," said Andrew, darkly. "Anyway, even back in Sunnydale, I saved lives!"
"Only that one time, when Vi forgot to turn off the gas in Buffy's kitchen and you squealed like a little bitch until Xander came and turned it off."
Andrew crossed his arms and huffed. "You still owe me your life."
"Yeah? And you owe me fifty bucks. Remember the bet?"
"Yes," said Andrew, in a reluctant tone. He fiddled with the bills in his pocket. He had been planning to buy the lost Doctor Who episodes that he'd found on Demonbay.co.uk (there was this cool demon living in the BBC who'd stored them inside his abdomen?which was yukky, but still! Lost Doctor Who episodes!).
He was not happy about losing the bet. "I mean?" he said. "You didn't cheat did you? You didn't know?"
"Cross my grossly-enlarged heart," said Dawn, tracing a cross across her. "I did not know Buffy was going to sleep with Satsu."
Except, she was totally lying. She knew it the second she saw Buffy and Satsu together, and Buffy doling out the compliments, and, with the slightly-too-lingering looks. Because she and Buffy weren't just sisters. It went deeper than that. Dawn was made of Buffy. And ? Spike being a case in point - they tended to find the same people hot. Not that she found Satsu?ok, maybe a little. But not that she could do anything about it at this size anyway, even if Satsu wasn't in love with Buffy (along with half the male population of the undead community).
But Dawn wasn't going to tell Andrew any of that. He wouldn't understand. He couldn't understand short sentences with simple verbs if they had anything to do with emotions and sex.
"Hand over the fifty," she said. "Or?maybe give it to Xander to look after til I'm small enough to spend it."
"You Summers women," said Andrew, shaking his head. "You pretend to be so nice. But you're not. You're mean. And?"
He gave her a narrow-eyed look, and Dawn wondered if perhaps he suspected more than she was telling. But, that was life in the castle all over ? everyone together, but everyone with their own secrets.
Perhaps one day she'd know Buffy's?
He was sitting on the windowsill of the castle while Dawn, in all her giantessness, was sitting out in the orchard. Luckily, though she lacked proportional strength, she did have proportional hearing. Spells are wacky that way.
"Let's just say, my sister still has a few issues," Dawn replied. She would normally take the "people aren't just in little boxes and seriously Andrew, the things you don't understand about sexuality could fill the entire Atlantic ocean" line but she was feeling pretty pissed at Buffy, who was pretty much ignoring her at the moment. Which was some feat, given her size.
Andrew threw his hands up in the air dramatically. "Issues? She has trade paperbacks! She has special omnibus edition volumes!"
"Trade huh? No one knows what you're talking about Andrew," Dawn sighed, and the tree closest to her bent in the wind that generated. "Except for Xander, and he has the decency to be ashamed about it. And you don't get to insult my sister."
"But you were?"
"a) Only I get to insult my sister. And b)?you were, like, evil up til last year. You don't have insult rights."
"Willow was evil."
"Yeah, but she stopped before you did. Plus, she's also awesome and sweet and can fly and she saved my life and everybody's lives a bunch of times."
"I've saved lives! I started saving lives even before I was redeemed and subsequently given command status within our organisation. Which?when am I going to get an official title and a smart uniform to impress the?" Andrew stopped himself and pouted. "I want a uniform!"
"No titles, no uniforms," Dawn reminded him. "It's how Buffy wants it."
"Something tells me the Slayer of Slayers knows not what she wants," said Andrew, darkly. "Anyway, even back in Sunnydale, I saved lives!"
"Only that one time, when Vi forgot to turn off the gas in Buffy's kitchen and you squealed like a little bitch until Xander came and turned it off."
Andrew crossed his arms and huffed. "You still owe me your life."
"Yeah? And you owe me fifty bucks. Remember the bet?"
"Yes," said Andrew, in a reluctant tone. He fiddled with the bills in his pocket. He had been planning to buy the lost Doctor Who episodes that he'd found on Demonbay.co.uk (there was this cool demon living in the BBC who'd stored them inside his abdomen?which was yukky, but still! Lost Doctor Who episodes!).
He was not happy about losing the bet. "I mean?" he said. "You didn't cheat did you? You didn't know?"
"Cross my grossly-enlarged heart," said Dawn, tracing a cross across her. "I did not know Buffy was going to sleep with Satsu."
Except, she was totally lying. She knew it the second she saw Buffy and Satsu together, and Buffy doling out the compliments, and, with the slightly-too-lingering looks. Because she and Buffy weren't just sisters. It went deeper than that. Dawn was made of Buffy. And ? Spike being a case in point - they tended to find the same people hot. Not that she found Satsu?ok, maybe a little. But not that she could do anything about it at this size anyway, even if Satsu wasn't in love with Buffy (along with half the male population of the undead community).
But Dawn wasn't going to tell Andrew any of that. He wouldn't understand. He couldn't understand short sentences with simple verbs if they had anything to do with emotions and sex.
"Hand over the fifty," she said. "Or?maybe give it to Xander to look after til I'm small enough to spend it."
"You Summers women," said Andrew, shaking his head. "You pretend to be so nice. But you're not. You're mean. And?"
He gave her a narrow-eyed look, and Dawn wondered if perhaps he suspected more than she was telling. But, that was life in the castle all over ? everyone together, but everyone with their own secrets.
Perhaps one day she'd know Buffy's?
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