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Now that this cat and mouse game has played out, you’re starting to feel maybe mousie still has more power over you than you can stand. Maybe it’s time you taught her how to scream. Oh, it’s past time.
That bitch is going to die tonight.
So, you go to school like a good Catholic boy, ready to crucify her.
She’s standing, looking at a bunch of trophies. When she turns, she’s looking at you like she’s still in love. Soft eyes. She tells you you’re the one. You mock her.
Then, with a shiver, you start to love back.
* * *
When I patrol these halls, doing my job, it’s a horror movie at the Repeat-o-ville Ritzy. The bad guy is coming. Again. He’s all around me - this time, invisible. But I won’t scream. I’m not that kind of heroine.
When I hear the bad guy speak, it’s not the evil I came here to fight. It’s the evil I unleashed by breaking the most important horror movie rule: don’t have sex.
I turn to face him. But, I can’t fight. I’m lost and all I can see is the person I killed by loving him.
And then I am…him.
* * *
“A person doesn't just wake up and stop loving somebody!” I scream. Then I show her what I have in my hand. “Don’t walk away from me…bitch!”
If I can’t make her stay…
The gun feels heavy. Just want this pain to stop. Would killing her make it stop?
A shot. Her body sprawled below. We’ve played this game before, but this time, she gets up again.
Do I need to be punished some more?
No. She’s come back to save me. “I loved you with my last breath,” she says.
I close my eyes. This is our happy ending.
* * *
I have to be cruel to myself, and to him, or I’ll ruin both of us forever. I knew he’d be angry. But he’s crazed. Oh my darling boy. He’s hardly himself.
There’s a gun in his hand. I want to scream. Is this what love does to good men? A good boy… This is all my fault. I did this to him.
He kills me again, but I get up this time. This time, we get an encore.
My love must be a kind of blind love
I can't see anyone but you
And there are no more tears.
That bitch is going to die tonight.
So, you go to school like a good Catholic boy, ready to crucify her.
She’s standing, looking at a bunch of trophies. When she turns, she’s looking at you like she’s still in love. Soft eyes. She tells you you’re the one. You mock her.
Then, with a shiver, you start to love back.
* * *
When I patrol these halls, doing my job, it’s a horror movie at the Repeat-o-ville Ritzy. The bad guy is coming. Again. He’s all around me - this time, invisible. But I won’t scream. I’m not that kind of heroine.
When I hear the bad guy speak, it’s not the evil I came here to fight. It’s the evil I unleashed by breaking the most important horror movie rule: don’t have sex.
I turn to face him. But, I can’t fight. I’m lost and all I can see is the person I killed by loving him.
And then I am…him.
* * *
“A person doesn't just wake up and stop loving somebody!” I scream. Then I show her what I have in my hand. “Don’t walk away from me…bitch!”
If I can’t make her stay…
The gun feels heavy. Just want this pain to stop. Would killing her make it stop?
A shot. Her body sprawled below. We’ve played this game before, but this time, she gets up again.
Do I need to be punished some more?
No. She’s come back to save me. “I loved you with my last breath,” she says.
I close my eyes. This is our happy ending.
* * *
I have to be cruel to myself, and to him, or I’ll ruin both of us forever. I knew he’d be angry. But he’s crazed. Oh my darling boy. He’s hardly himself.
There’s a gun in his hand. I want to scream. Is this what love does to good men? A good boy… This is all my fault. I did this to him.
He kills me again, but I get up this time. This time, we get an encore.
My love must be a kind of blind love
I can't see anyone but you
And there are no more tears.
