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Rupert and his Amazing Monochrome Dreamboat Coat

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  • Rupert and his Amazing Monochrome Dreamboat Coat

    [set during season 4 of BtVS, post-Hush]

    Giles had picked up the jacket in a second hand shop in Portobello on one of his trips home. It was a little showy for his usual tastes. But, he reasoned, if one is going to have a midlife crisis, one might as well go the whole hog. He had the shiny red car, and now he had a sleekly-fitted dark velvet jacket to go with it.

    The girl behind the counter ? a pretty young trustafarian (wasn't that the term now?) all bangles and piercings and mockney intonation ? told him that it had been someone rather famous who'd brought it in. Giles had never heard of the man, but then, he didn't pay much attention to actors, nowadays, though, he'd known quite a few back in the day. They all began to look the same after a while, the new crop of handsome, blonde men. Gosh, that truly is a proof of age, isn't it? Seeing the young as an indistinguishable mass.

    On his return to Sunnydale, the coat lay in his closet for a while until he finally plucked up the necessary chutzpah to wear it. He knew full well that the Scoobies would mock him. But it fitted him perfectly, resting comfortably across his shoulders, and nipping in a little at the waist as all the best 70s jackets did.

    One evening, Buffy called, saying she'd found some ritual symbols ? freshly painted in blood ? on the wall of a crypt. Giles slipped on the coat and headed off to meet her. As he walked down Main Street, he noticed a couple of female heads turning. He smiled. Still life in the old dog yet, eh? And, with Olivia unlikely to return any time soon after her last visit clashed with a visitation from voice-sucking fairytale monsters, he was a free agent. Perhaps he would confound all expectations and?

    He tutted to himself. Although he was no longer Buffy's Watcher, he shouldn't be thinking like a giddy teenager. That never went well.

    To be continued...

    -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --

  • #2
    When he reached the crypt, Buffy and Riley were poring over the symbols, rather too studiously. Buffy's shirt was missing a button, her hair was mussed, and Riley was looking more than a little red in the face. Giles was more than happy to collude in their pretence that they had been trying to decode the symbols the entire time they were waiting for him.
    "What do you think it means?" Buffy asked. She glanced at Giles, then did a slight double take.

    Oh lawd. Here comes the ribbing for my coat. But she said nothing further. Giles peered closer at the wall. He smiled. "Well, you'll be glad to know these markings have nothing to do with any kind of apocalypse."
    "Good to know," said Riley.

    "So," added Buffy, leaning closer to Giles. "What do they mean, Rupert?"


    "Ah?well, it appears to be a prosperity spell of some kind." He sounded out the Gushunti words in his mind, translating them roughly for the others. "Let?those who?come after?be protected?from want." He turned to Buffy. "Simple charm, really. It's to bring wealth to the descendents of whoever's buried here."

    "Is there anything?I can do?" Buffy's voice was lower than usual. She put her hand on his arm, garnering a perplexed look from Riley. Noticing Riley's reaction, she brushed Giles's arm for imaginary lint. "Gee, dusty in these crypts!"

    Giles coughed. "No, I don't think there's any cause for concern. There's no demon worship involved, or any truly dark magic. Though it might be worth looking up any relatives of the?" he glanced around the crypt to where he saw an inscription. "Waltons." Giles gave a little laugh. "Well I never!"

    "I could slay them for ya," said Buffy, shuffling imperceptibly closer to Giles.


    Buffy made a face. "Called the Waltons? They've GOT to be evil!" She put her head on one side and smiled in an unnerving fashion. Almost?salacious? "I'm your slayer to command...sir."

    "We should probably go research those Waltons, huh?" suggested Riley.

    "Should we?" asked Buffy. She toyed with the crucifix around her neck and batted her eyelashes.

    "Ah, oh, yes, absolutely?oh!" finished Giles. As Buffy left with Riley, he could've sworn she gave him a swift but firm pat on the bottom.

    Whatever can have got into her? He wondered.

    -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --