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[i]This is inspired by Litzie's fic "Her". A ficlet about Buffy's state of mind in seasons 6, 7 and 8.
Post-post mortem
The thing about coming back from the dead is you don't come back. A girl with your face returns. She wears your clothes, buttoning their foreign fabrics with unsteady hands. She needs help with it. She sleeps in your bed like Goldilocks, ungrateful for the comfort, unable to enjoy it, but taking up your space all the same. She goes out at night and kills your monsters, then takes them to bed ? or out behind the sad little neon-lit horror show of a job she's chosen for you. She uses your body to do things that you would never dare to do. But she doesn't feel alive when she feels his hands on your skin. She just forgets, for a while that she was ever real and whole. That she was ever you. She kills you again when she ****s him. And again, and again. Repeat as desired.
Generalissimo
In the end, I came back. World nearly ended, but I came back from the grave with new clothes, new hair, ready for a new school term. But everything's shifting around. The classrooms smell different ? are they smaller? The magic box is an empty shell, all burned out. Willow is not the girl I knew, Xander is a comfort, but when did he turn into a man? That seems wrong. Giles is free range in England, all horses and secret missions.
And something old is brewing underneath us. I'm at the head of an army and I don't know where this is going. I'm harder, I feel older now. Still a little cold, as if something's compressed me into this mould, the weight of the world turning me out like a little brass statue of a leader. Generalissimo Buffy. It's not me, just the part I have to play until the world doesn't end, and we beat what's coming. But I want to rest. I wish that I was anywhere but here.
Queen B
After we changed the world, I was free to choose any life I wanted. But you don't just go into a store and choose one big shiny item marked "Buffy's new life". It's all the little choices that bring you here. Who does what. Giving Andrew his own team. Yeah, not my best idea. Scotland. The diamond. Cutting off Giles. Letting in Satsu. Letting her all the way in. Feeling guilty that I can't let her any further. And here I am. My brand new life ? Buffy, international bank robber and cradle snatcher, watcherless and fancy free. And my go-to guy for the latest mission? Dracula.
I can't help wondering, did someone come in and swap in my life for Abbot and Costello's?
Post-post mortem
The thing about coming back from the dead is you don't come back. A girl with your face returns. She wears your clothes, buttoning their foreign fabrics with unsteady hands. She needs help with it. She sleeps in your bed like Goldilocks, ungrateful for the comfort, unable to enjoy it, but taking up your space all the same. She goes out at night and kills your monsters, then takes them to bed ? or out behind the sad little neon-lit horror show of a job she's chosen for you. She uses your body to do things that you would never dare to do. But she doesn't feel alive when she feels his hands on your skin. She just forgets, for a while that she was ever real and whole. That she was ever you. She kills you again when she ****s him. And again, and again. Repeat as desired.
Generalissimo
In the end, I came back. World nearly ended, but I came back from the grave with new clothes, new hair, ready for a new school term. But everything's shifting around. The classrooms smell different ? are they smaller? The magic box is an empty shell, all burned out. Willow is not the girl I knew, Xander is a comfort, but when did he turn into a man? That seems wrong. Giles is free range in England, all horses and secret missions.
And something old is brewing underneath us. I'm at the head of an army and I don't know where this is going. I'm harder, I feel older now. Still a little cold, as if something's compressed me into this mould, the weight of the world turning me out like a little brass statue of a leader. Generalissimo Buffy. It's not me, just the part I have to play until the world doesn't end, and we beat what's coming. But I want to rest. I wish that I was anywhere but here.
Queen B
After we changed the world, I was free to choose any life I wanted. But you don't just go into a store and choose one big shiny item marked "Buffy's new life". It's all the little choices that bring you here. Who does what. Giving Andrew his own team. Yeah, not my best idea. Scotland. The diamond. Cutting off Giles. Letting in Satsu. Letting her all the way in. Feeling guilty that I can't let her any further. And here I am. My brand new life ? Buffy, international bank robber and cradle snatcher, watcherless and fancy free. And my go-to guy for the latest mission? Dracula.
I can't help wondering, did someone come in and swap in my life for Abbot and Costello's?
