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DeadWar: Haven 1.01 (Kill All the Lawyers)

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  • DeadWar: Haven 1.01 (Kill All the Lawyers)

    Disclaimer: All original characters belong to me. All other characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy

    Beta: Kold (Thanks!)

    Setting: The events of this episode take place prior to "Constitution of Silence".



    A young woman in a grey pantsuit is seated before a cheap computer desk, typing; papers and books are spread evenly over the surface. The scene is suffused with pallid fluorescent light.

    BRITTANY (to herself): ... in the case of a cestui que trust, Voorman vs. Eden suggests that legal persons which appear to have been created to circumvent presumption of death may--

    WOMAN (offscreen): Morning. It's about time you got around to that question.

    BRITTANY twists in her seat to look at the speaker, rubbing her eyes.

    Standing in the apartment's doorway is LILAH MORGAN, wearing a similar pantsuit, along with a filmy green scarf around her neck.

    LILAH: Pull an all-nighter? I hope you have some coffee left.

    She peers around the kitchen doorway as if looking for a coffeepot.

    BRITTANY: Aunt Lilah, you've got to stop this. I've told you, there are some things I won't do.

    LILAH: You mean like joining the winning side?

    BRITTANY (sarcastically): Winning? I thought you said Wolfram & Hart weren't interested in winning.

    LILAH: Matter of interpretation, Britt. Sure, we own the world. That doesn't mean there's nothing left we want done with it.

    Apparently not having found any coffee, she sits down in an armchair.

    LILAH : Angel's played his role, chosen his side... gotten his reward. Things are coming together.

    BRITTANY (skeptical): He didn't take your side. I'd have thought that meant you lose.

    LILAH: Well... that depends.

    BRITTANY: Depends on what?

    LILAH (with a faint smile): On how well we played both ends.

    CUT TO


    Tall buildings tower over this murky alley, blocking out virtually all the sunlight. A middle-aged, heavyset MAN runs by, panting and wheezing, only to find his path blocked by a M'FASHNIK DEMON wearing a dirty pair of jeans.

    MAN: Oh god, oh god, I'm sorry!

    M'FASHNIK: If you were really sorry, you'd come quietly.

    GIRL (off-screen): Or if he had a death wish.

    NOVEMBER appears out of a doorway behind the M'FASHNIK. She has a thicker build than we've seen in a Slayer before, though much of it is presumably muscle. She's wearing loose-fitting jeans, and what seems to be some kind of padded body armor over her shirt. He turns to face her.

    M'FASHNIK: This doesn't concern you. Might wanna stay out of it.

    NOVEMBER: I'm a Slayer, you petaQ. Anything you do concerns me.

    M'FASHNIK: Look, there's a simple explanation for--

    The M'FASHNIK is cut off as NOVEMBER rushes him, knocking him to the ground. He plows both fists into her midsection, not obviously hurting her but pushing her backwards so that he can get up.

    M'FASHNIK : Fine. Never fought a Slayer. Should be fun.

    NOVEMBER (in Klingon): yIHegh, toDSaH! (subtitled: Die, scum!)

    NOVEMBER smashes her right fist into his jaw, to little effect. The DEMON punches her in the gut again, right and then left; once again, she's driven slightly backwards.

    M'FASHNIK: What the hell are you talking about?

    NOVEMBER rolls her eyes and kicks him in the stomach. He clutches it briefly, then charges at her, hands open as if to grab her. She seizes his left hand and swings him around into the alley wall, then shoves him backward against a dumpster. The M'FASHNIK staggers, apparently dazed.

    NOVEMBER turns to look for the MAN and sees him lying in the alleyway covered in hardening slime. As she continues turning she finds herself face-to-face with a FYARL DEMON. A burst of slime splatters her in the face. She attempts to raise a fist, but her eyes roll back in her head and she topples to the pavement.

    M'FASHNIK: Jeff! Wondered where you'd gotten to!

    JEFF (unintelligible Fyarl, subtitled): You outran me, ya little goof! (looking at NOVEMBER) Hagaanah's not gonna like this.

    M'FASHNIK: We'll work it out. Get Murray.

    The M'FASHNIK lifts NOVEMBER, throwing her over his shoulder, while JEFF picks up the heavyset MAN in both arms.

    M'FASHNIK : Hagaanah'll take care of her.


    Heaven's gates won't open up for me
    With these broken wings I'm fallin'
    An' all I see is you
    These city walls ain't got no love for me
    I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
    And oh I scream for you
    Come please I'm callin'
    And all I need from you
    Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
    Show me what it's like
    To be the last one standin'
    Teach me wrong from right
    And I'll show you what I can be
    Say it for me
    Say it to me
    And I'll leave this life behind me
    Say it if it's worth savin' me.

    Theme: "Savin' Me," by Nickelback

    Tom Lenk as Andrew Wells
    Jenna Edwards as November Hall
    Rachel Billings as Brittany Morgan
    Alona Tal as Michelle Foust
    Percy Daggs III as Gabriel Keller
    and David Boreanaz as Angel

    Stephanie Romanov as Lilah Morgan
    Robert Englund as Hagaanah
    Gigi Edgley as Mara
    Christopher Judge as "Keith"/Keth'Kar
    Ben Browder as "Jeff"

    ACT I


    ANGEL is driving. The sun is shining on his face, the wind is blowing his hair, and his expression is grim and forboding. ANDREW is studying a map of Chicago, but is nonetheless grinning despite having to struggle with the wind trying to blow his map free.

    ANDREW (excited): Okay, when we get to Fifth Street we need to hang a--

    ANGEL: I know where the University of Chicago is.

    ANDREW: Right, but--

    ANGEL: I know my way around town.

    ANDREW: Brittany lives several blocks from the college, and there's this complicated intersection. It'd be better to go a different way.

    ANGEL (hesitating a moment): Oh. Okay, thanks.

    ANDREW: When's the last time you were in Chicago?

    ANGEL: 1934. But I've been reading maps. I can get by.

    ANDREW: Oh. Well, it'll be great, you'll get to see all the sights, the new stuff they've built. And in the daytime, too! I guess you've never been to the Sears Tower.

    ANGEL (irritated): No. Never. Look, I need to concentrate on taking the right exit here. (He begins trying to make his way across several lanes of traffic.)

    ANDREW: Yeah, I guess it can't be easy losing the old vam-pire reflexes.

    ANGEL: I'll get used to it. When we get into town, you ought to find us apartments while I speak to Brittany.

    ANDREW (slightly less enthusiastic): Right. Um... you're the boss.

    CUT TO:


    We pass through several scenes of varying amounts of traffic, including one shot which shows ANGEL's convertible stopped in bumper-to-bumper vehicles; ANGEL appears, just for a moment, to be enjoying the sun.


    A dimly-lit hallway. BRITTANY emerges from her apartment, carrying a satchel and holding keys. She begins to close the door, and we see a closeup of her hand with keys as she starts to lock it. Another hand catches her arm.

    BRITTANY: You don't want to do that.

    CUT back to a wider viewpoint.

    ANGEL: Why not? Because you're a law student?

    BRITTANY: Well, yes. The term "assault" comes to mind.

    ANGEL: I haven't assaulted you.

    BRITTANY: Common misconception. What you're thinking of is "battery". And, in fact, a case could be made you've done that too, depending on the type.

    ANGEL: I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk. My name's Angel.

    BRITTANY: And you were sent by Rupert Giles, am I right? Look... I have classes I need to get to, and I don't think we have anything to say to each other.

    ANGEL (catching hold of her as she turns away): Is this really the life you want to live?

    BRITTANY (shaking him off roughly): Defending the helpless? Yes.

    ANGEL: Please... wait. Stop and talk to me, just for a few minutes.

    This time, when he takes hold of her arm again, she slams him into the wall with a crash. He staggers and nearly collapses to the floor; BRITTANY steadies him and keeps him from falling.

    BRITTANY (angry, but just a little concerned): I know about you, Angel. I know what you've been through, and I know what you're thinking about me. But there's more to protecting people than being some sort of comic book superhero.

    ANGEL: I know there is. But that's not what people like us--like you, I mean, are here for. Slayers exist to fight demons, Brittany. Not to file papers.

    BRITTANY (losing patience): Tell me something, Angel. Are you saying that if Wolfram and Hart had framed your friend... Lorin, I think her name was?

    ANGEL: Lorne, and he's a he. (as she tries to speak) And they wouldn't have bothered.

    BRITTANY: On principle, then. Would Lorne deserve to be defended in court, if it happened? Or are you saying I'm only supposed to punch him out? (overriding ANGEL, this time) I know, he's green, right? So it would be a problem in court. But not all demons are like that.

    ANGEL: Okay... okay, point taken. I... yeah, I would want him to have a good lawyer. I'm not sure if he's actually got any legal rights... . (BRITTANY's brow goes up) Strictly on the basis of the law, I mean. But he deserves to. What I'm saying about you, though, is that you have talents other people don't have. It'd be a shame for you to waste them.

    BRITTANY: I'm not.

    She turns and begins to walk away.

    BRITTANY (continued as she walks down the hall): Maybe there was a time when I would have had to do what you want, Angel. When I'd have had the responsibility. But I've got other abilities than just those. You don't get to limit me to the role you think I should play.

    ANGEL (hesitating, then loudly): Where's November?

    BRITTANY: Lives just across the hall. Check the door numbers; it was your people who set her up. She'll probably listen to you.

    ANGEL: I called. She's not home.

    BRITTANY: Be patient.

    BRITTANY walks away, leaving ANGEL standing in the hall alone.

    CUT TO:

    Bags are stacked neatly all over the room -- on the floor, in the closet, on the bed. The walls are painted white, reflecting cheerful sunshine all around from the large window at stage left. ANDREW enters from the bathroom talking on a cell phone.

    ANDREW: That's too bad, Phil. I guess it was inevitable. These things... well, nothing lasts forever. (pauses to listen) Yeah, the market on those camera things was great at first, but with the war going on most vampires aren't too worried about what they look like. So, you'll be in town by next week? Cool! See you soon!

    He hangs up and dials another number. After several rings he hangs up and dials a second time.

    WILLOW (voiceover, cheerily): Hi, Willow speaking!

    ANDREW: Will! Hey, I was getting a little worried. We got in about an hour ago.

    WILLOW (v.o.): Giles has been complaining about cutting someone off about that long ago. It's just him.

    ANDREW (grinning): And the old-school Watcher fumbles again... glad everything's okay with you guys, and we're doing fine, except we're having a little trouble finding our Slayers.

    WILLOW (v.o.): Ummm... .you tried November's mobile?

    CUT TO


    NOVEMBER is lying on a cot in a nondescript windowless room with red walls. Her cell phone begins to ring. The M'FASHNIK demon we saw earlier picks it up from a small metal desk. We can see NOVEMBER's eyes following him, but she doesn't appear able to move otherwise.

    ANDREW (v.o.): November? We couldn't reach you at home, so I thought I'd try your cell. Angel has all kinds of trouble with these things.

    M'FASHNIK: You know the girl?

    ANDREW (v.o.): Hey, who's this?

    M'FASHNIK: If she's a friend of yours, we need to talk. North end of Garfield Park. Be there by midnight tonight, you got that?

    ANDREW (v.o.): Who are you?

    M'FASHNIK: You'll know us when you see us. (hanging up) Well. Looks like you've got friends coming for you after all.


    Last edited by Mabus; 03-12-07, 06:30 AM.
    DeadWar: Burden of Proof
    Out Now.
    Avatar by Barb
    Feedback is always welcome here.

  • #2
    ACT II


    GABRIEL and MICHELLE are sitting in a pair of metal chairs in a small office, which looks fairly normal except for the heavy metal posters hanging on the walls. GABRIEL is clutching her hand, but it's not clear whether he needs support or is trying to restrain her. Behind the cluttered desk (with a nameplate that reads simply "MARA") is a young woman in a bright orange blouse, with hair that appears dyed to match and a number of large hoop earrings. It must be her office all the same, because she's speaking into the office phone.

    MARA (in a lower-class British accent): ...yeah, great, good for you. Glad it worked out. Got to go! (looking up) Hey, sorry about that. Boss says we got to tend to the phones first.

    GABRIEL: We understand. It's not a big deal.

    MARA: You get we're not a travel agency, right?

    MICHELLE (impatiently): His contact said to speak to you.

    MARA: Right, right... it's not a problem, we pass the occasional poor sod along. Me, I don't think running away from your problems is all that bright, but I get it.

    GABRIEL: We'll be coming back when--

    The office phone rings again. MARA rolls her eyes and checks the display to see who's calling.

    MARA (annoyed): I got to take this one. (picks it up and listens for a moment) Hey, bugger that!... yes, we're sisters, so?... No, I don't need your approval to "validate" me! As long's I follow the rules, I can do what I damn well please. Sod off already! (hangs up)

    MICHELLE: Family problems?

    MARA: You might say that. Say, what's this boy been feeding you on? You've gone all skin and bones.

    GABRIEL (speaking up first): She's been in a coma five years. She'll recover.

    MARA stares at him a moment, then back at MICHELLE. After a moment a lightbulb seems to go on above her head.

    MARA: Right. I see how it is. You hungry, miss? We don't have any vampires on staff, but I might be able to find you something.

    GABRIEL and MICHELLE exchange puzzled looks.

    MICHELLE (grumpily): As long as you don't kill anyone?

    GABRIEL gives her an approving nod.

    MARA (rising from her seat): You want over closer to the Uni. I'll give you directions when I get back, it'll just be a moment.

    MARA walks past MICHELLE and out the door.

    CUT TO


    BRITTANY and ANGEL are pacing back and forth in a rather worn-looking park while ANDREW sits on a broken-down bench. The sound of light traffic can be heard, and every now and then a car passes by.

    BRITTANY: Remind me again why I'm here.

    ANDREW: This is kind of a bad neighborhood?

    ANGEL: More importantly, something managed to kidnap a Slayer. That takes power.

    BRITTANY (self-satisfied): Which you don't have.

    ANDREW: Exactly. We - -and November -- need your help. If all you want is to be a student, you can go back to it once she's free.

    ANGEL glares at ANDREW, but he doesn't seem to notice.

    BRITTANY: That's what I want.

    A cloaked figure can be seen approaching from the street.

    ANDREW: Look sharp now. It could be anything. Well... anything close to human-sized. And shaped. A vam-pire... or a Kleynach demon... or...

    The figure throws back the hood of its raincoat. It's the M'FASHNIK. ANDREW looks startled and just a little nervous.

    M'FASHNIK: I am Keth'Kar. Your friend is with us.

    ANGEL clenches his fists as if preparing to fight. Before he can do anything, BRITTANY steps forward.

    BRITTANY: Keth'Kar, she had better be unharmed.

    M'FASHNIK (spreading his hands): She's fine. You'll see. And call me Keith. Humans usually do.

    With a challenging look, KEITH turns his back on the group and begins walking away.

    ANGEL: It could be a trap.

    BRITTANY (following, leaving ANGEL behind; sarcastic): What kind of a vampire are you?

    ANGEL: Um... not, anymore.

    BRITTANY: How does... oh. I didn't realize. Good for you.

    (Disturbed's "Down With the Sickness" fades in.)
    Drowning deep in my sea of loathing/broken your servant I kneel (will you give in to me)

    The group crosses the street, heading for what looks like a rundown tenement, with KEITH continually casting glances back over his shoulder as if expecting -- or hoping -- to be attacked.

    It seems what's left of my human side/is slowly changing in me (will you give in to me)

    The double doors of the tenement's main entrance have been spray-painted with a glowering red eye.

    looking at my own reflection/when suddenly it changes/violently it changes (oh no)

    KEITH throws open the doors and strides confidently inside.

    there is no turning back now/you've woken up the demon in me

    Unexpectedly, the walls are recently painted, the floor is carpeted, and all the lights appear to be working. A handful of demons and humans are sitting in what appears to be a lobby.

    Get up, come on get down with the sickness/Get up, come on get down with the sickness/Get up, come on get down with the sickness

    JEFF, the Fyarl demon, boogies past with headphones on, singing along unintelligibly, and vanishes through a bead-curtained doorway.

    Open up your hate and let it flow into me... (music fades out)

    A huge logo has been painted on the upper wall of a large interior atrium; it resembles a bat-winged human swooping down with a flaming sword, with the words "Hagaanah P. I.". The surrounding rooms have been converted into office space.

    MARA (off-screen, cheerfully): You've reached Hagaanah P. I., we defend the defenseless, how can we help you?

    ANGEL, ANDREW, and BRITTANY come to a halt in the lobby, staring. ANGEL looks especially stunned. KEITH goes on ahead into the largest office, where he begins gesturing to someone we can't see.

    MARA (off-screen): Look, I've told you, we can't take your reproductive-rights case. It's against policy.

    BRITTANY looks through the doorway into MARA's office, frowning, as MARA hangs up on the caller.

    MARA (under her breath, a little guiltily): Skilosh demon. They keep bugging us.

    ANDREW (quietly to ANGEL): In the Re'he'val dimension, a hagaanah's a kind of avatar of the local deities, that comes to aid the worshippers when they're in danger. It's sort of an avenging--

    HAGAANAH (off-screen): Angel!

    HAGAANAH is a tall, red-skinned horned demon of the same type as the late IZZERIEL the Devil, of the Circle of the Black Thorn. He emerges from the main office and throws his hands open in greeting.

    HAGAANAH : Sweet Jesus, I never thought I'd actually see you in person! You are an inspiration to us all, my man!

    HAGAANAH seizes ANGEL's right hand and shakes it vigorously.

    HAGAANAH: What can I do for you? And... hey... when'd you shanshu? Word hasn't gotten around yet... congratulations!

    ANGEL (babbling): I... ah... I don't... think we've met.

    HAGAANAH (with a shrug): Hagaanah of Hagaanah Private Eye. I suppose... well, everyone knows you. Shouldn't have assumed, sorry.

    ANDREW (swallowing his nervousness): You have my Slayer. I want her back.

    HAGAANAH (studying ANDREW): You're... and... right. I, er... she attacked Keith and Jeff while they were out on the Murray case. I suppose it's all an honest mistake. No harm done, no offense taken?

    ANDREW: As long as she's okay... I suppose.

    HAGAANAH: Jeff! (poking his head through the bead curtains) Jeff, c'mon! We need you to wake the girl. (to ANDREW) Sorry... she was being pretty violent, we've had to keep her immobilized.

    JEFF appears from the doorway.

    BRITTANY: I know how she is. We can't blame you, I guess.

    ANGEL gives her an uncomfortable glance as they follow HAGAANAH into a hallway. As ANGEL passes, we see GABRIEL and MICHELLE waiting in chairs next to the hall; MICHELLE changes to game face, licking her lips, as he goes by. GABRIEL scowls, picks up the thermos on her chair arm, and offers it to her a little roughly.

    HAGAANAH opens the door to the RED ROOM we saw earlier, where NOVEMBER is still lying on the cot. JEFF goes over to her, and we see a closeup of him poking at her arm with his stubby claws; they come away leaving red marks.

    HAGAANAH: She's been treated as well as we can manage -- we got her up once for a bite to eat and a bathroom break and she nearly took Mara's head off. Has to be watched at all times when she's not like this.

    ANDREW: I, um... see the difficulty.

    NOVEMBER jackknifes forward on the cot, then leaps off the end, shouting and putting up her fists.

    NOVEMBER: Get the hell away from me!

    ANDREW: Whoa, whoa... we're here to spring you. Calm down!

    BRITTANY (amused): November. You were interfering with an... investigation.

    NOVEMBER: They were trying to kill a guy...

    JEFF rumbles something in Fyarl.

    HAGAANAH: Stan Murray, drug lord. He hired hit men to kill G'natha, a balancing entity who was interfering with his street dealers. Real scumbag... Murray, I mean. We'd already caught the assassins. Took Murray down today.

    ANGEL: What'd you do with them?

    HAGAANAH (shrugging): Took 'em to G'natha's dimension where G'natha can have them tried. It's not exactly a human legal system, but it seems pretty fair to me. If you want to see some papers on the basics... .

    BRITTANY: Actually, I already have some documentation.

    HAGAANAH gives her a startled look.

    BRITTANY : Long story. I'll look it over.

    ANGEL and NOVEMBER look skeptical, ANDREW a little less so, but before they can make any objections MARA pokes her head into the room, looking mildly ill.

    MARA: Oi! Boss! Er... (she squints as if seeing something or suffering a headache)... Mugging on Columbus Boulevard. I can handle it myself, but I'll be gone a few.

    ANGEL (boggled): She gets visions? You have someone with visions?

    MARA (with a roll of her eyes at ANGEL): By the way, remind me to check the wards on my deposit box, and if D'hoffryn stops by again tell him (she makes a vee-gesture) for me. Can't touch me 'less I break the rules.

    MARA vanishes in a pillar of smoke, leaving ANGEL, ANDREW, and NOVEMBER staring. BRITTANY also looks surprised but doesn't seem to understand what has happened.

    ANDREW: That is just... wrong.

    HAGAANAH: Vengeance is what you make of it. Just ask your buddy there. (He points at ANGEL.) He could be eating the innocent, you know.

    ANGEL: I'm not sure I--

    HAGAANAH: Look. We're on the same side here. Your friend's fine. Go home, let the young lady take a look over her documents, and if there's anything terribly wrong I'm sure you'll find it.

    BRITTANY takes a glowering NOVEMBER by the arm and manages to usher her into the hallway. Still looking skeptical, ANGEL and ANDREW follow.

    KEITH (off-screen): this cross in your yard, it was on fire?

    FEMALE VAMPIRE (off-screen): No, but I would've been if I'd run into it!

    BRITTANY (over her shoulder, pleased with herself): Everybody's got different gifts, Angel. It's how you use them.


    DeadWar: Burden of Proof
    Out Now.
    Avatar by Barb
    Feedback is always welcome here.


    • #3
      ACT III


      BRITTANY, ANGEL, ANDREW, and NOVEMBER are all crowded into the small living room of the apartment. ANGEL and ANDREW are squeezed into a loveseat, with ANDREW studying some papers. BRITTANY is at her desk, and NOVEMBER is pacing up and down the floor.

      NOVEMBER: I can't believe we let the filthy Ha'DIbaHmey go! I mean, they've got a vengeance demon on staff!

      ANDREW (absently): I knew a vengeance demon. Buffy worked with her. She didn't do anything to Anya till Anya started killing people.

      NOVEMBER: Well, maybe she should have!

      ANDREW (sternly): ruv 'oHbe' bortaS'e', 'ach rut rurchuq bIH. (subtitled: Revenge isn't justice, but sometimes they're close.)

      NOVEMBER looks chastened, but keeps pacing nervously.

      BRITTANY: I know you guys want to believe the agency is evil, but... (she shrugs)... I'm not finding anything here. The forms can be pretty different, but they look fair, and Murray'll have a lawyer. The only thing is that technically the extradition's illegal, but I don't know that we should let that get in the way. It's not like G'natha can appear in an American court.

      ANGEL: Well, he could.

      BRITTANY: They'd haul him off to a zoo, Angel. Or a research lab.

      ANGEL: What if there's a loophole you're not seeing? You're just a student.

      BRITTANY: There are loopholes in everything, Angel. You should know that. No system's perfect. He'll just have to trust his lawyer like everyone else. As long as he passes the vomero... nasal test, whatever that is, he should be treated just fine, not that I have a lot of sympathy for the guy.

      ANDREW (suddenly concerned): Vomeronasal test?

      BRITTANY: In the opening procedures. Page three.

      ANDREW (flipping back): Uh... this is bad. "The subject must be tested for proper vomeronasal function using the standard emotional stimuli," which I think must mean people who feel a certain way, "in order to establish competence to stand trial."

      ANGEL: Mental competence? That doesn't sound unusual, except maybe the method. What's vomeronasal mean?

      NOVEMBER (worried): It's an organ, part of the nose really. It sort of... smells emotions, lets you feel them directly.

      ANDREW: If it's just a minor problem they'll confine him, but, um... if it's sufficiently disordered he can be, basically... put to sleep. Or summarily executed, depending on how you look at it.

      ANGEL and BRITTANY look at NOVEMBER and ANDREW, not fully understanding what's wrong.

      ANDREW : Humans don't have one.

      CUT TO


      We're facing the double doors leading into Hagaanah's offices. They're kicked in by BRITTANY, allowing her, NOVEMBER, ANGEL, and ANDREW to enter. JEFF and KEITH run into the atrium, which is now empty.

      KEITH: Hey! (He stuffs a sheaf of bills he was holding into his pants pocket.) You guys're gonna have to pay for that!

      ANGEL: I think we'll take it out of your salary.

      ANGEL charges KEITH, who clobbers him with a punch to the jaw. ANGEL staggers backward, stumbling over a chair, and falls.

      BRITTANY: We know about your plan to kill Stan Murray.

      She kicks KEITH in the leg, and they begin to trade blows. NOVEMBER throws a chair at JEFF, trying to stay out of the way of his paralyzing mucus. Instead of using it, though, he closes with her and tries to grab. ANDREW tries to sneak along the walls toward the main office.

      KEITH: The man's a drug dealer. What's your problem? He'll get a fair trial.

      NOVEMBER (peppering JEFF with blows): No... he... won't.

      BRITTANY: He'll fail the vomeronasal test. Any human would.

      MARA teleports in behind ANDREW and grabs him, pinning his arms.

      ANDREW (struggling futilely): Humans don't have a working vomeronasal organ!

      JEFF slams NOVEMBER bodily against the wall; she gasps, winded, but doesn't seem seriously hurt. She begins pummeling him again the moment he lets go.

      KEITH: Seriously? That explains a lot.

      KEITH lifts BRITTANY, turns her sideways, and smacks her downwards into the floor. She promptly kicks his feet out from under him.

      KEITH (continued from the floor): All these wars... the crime rate... I mean, you can know people's feelings (he gets up) and enjoy their pain or just not care, but if you didn't know at all?

      ANGEL finally begins to pick himself up off the floor, looking dazed. BRITTANY vaults to her feet facing KEITH. MARA lifts ANDREW into the air; he kicks backwards at her but isn't able to hurt her.

      HAGAANAH (off-screen): Hey, guys, we've got a problem. (He enters from the hallway.) Stan and all his hitmen failed the vom... .What the hell?

      ANDREW: That's why we came, about the Murray case!

      HAGAANAH (with a shrill whistle): Hey, hey, HOLD IT!! (Everyone stops fighting.) You folks knew this was going to happen? Why didn't you say something? They're talking about calling a mistrial 'cause something's wrong with the test. I don't want those guys back on the streets.

      NOVEMBER (out of breath): We didn't know till we looked through the legal papers.

      MARA: They say humans don't have a vomeronasal organ. Whatever the bloody thing is.

      HAGAANAH looks at her curiously. BRITTANY sits ANGEL down in a chair, examining his head as she listens. JEFF stares around the room, looking confused.

      MARA: Hey, I never noticed anything wrong with me when I was human.

      BRITTANY: It's called civilization. We figured out how to get by without one.

      KEITH (examining her doubtfully): If you say so.

      HAGAANAH: Obviously there's been some kind of misunderstanding.

      ANGEL: I'd say.

      HAGAANAH: If there's really nothing wrong with the test, I can talk the defense into waiving the test and mistrial as a set. I don't much like the idea of folks wandering the streets without a vomeronasal organ, but I don't expect an acquittal anyway.

      ANGEL: That's it? You talk to them, he doesn't get executed?

      HAGAANAH (with a shrug): Why not?

      ANGEL's party look at each other, surprised and a little confused.

      ANDREW: We'll check in and see how things went.

      HAGAANAH: I think I should hire a human liason. Someone to let me know about these things ahead of time.

      BRITTANY: That'd help. And, uh... we'll pay for the door.

      KEITH: Yeah, thanks.

      The Slayers and Watchers, still a little doubtful, begin filing out into the street.

      JEFF (Fyarl, subtitled): So no more crush?




      BRITTANY is examining ANGEL's head again from an armchair; he is seated on the floor. NOVEMBER and ANDREW are sitting on the loveseat, talking quietly in Klingon.

      BRITTANY: You're going to have to be more careful. You're a lot easier to hurt now. I wondered what was up when I slammed you into the wall earlier.

      ANGEL: And you didn't wonder why I was out in the daytime?

      BRITTANY: You wouldn't be the first vampire to sneak in through the sewers, or run around under a coat.

      ANGEL: But you understood what had happened when I brought it up.

      BRITTANY (nodding hesitantly): I did.

      ANGEL: I guess you could have found out about the Shanshu from Giles. (a beat) But that's not where you heard, is it?

      BRITTANY: No. My aunt told me.

      ANGEL: You've been in touch with Lilah?

      BRITTANY: Uh-huh. Since before she died. She's the one they sent to recruit me. We let them think that I'm on the fence; it helps that I'm studying law.

      ANGEL: "We"?

      BRITTANY: My aunt is a slave in a hell dimension. You think she wants me to join her when I die?

      ANGEL: If she thought it would help her... .

      BRITTANY: It won't, and she knows it. She... (looking around) ...passes on information to me. Things that are supposed to make me want to join the winning side.

      ANGEL: What do you mean, "winning"? We beat their army.

      BRITTANY: There's more than one kind of apathy, Angel. People get tired of fighting. And when they do, sometimes they do things that are worse than the war ever was, to make an end of it. Angel, tell me something. If Wolfram and Hart aren't interested in winning... what did they have an army for?

      ANGEL's face

      ANGEL (hesitating): I... I really don't know.

      DeadWar: Burden of Proof
      Out Now.
      Avatar by Barb
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