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The festival of Jo'ory- confusion ensues...
Rating: PG
A/N: I found this tricky- it called for a multitude of characters to be present, but that's not easy and calls for lotsa dialogue... I compensated by having Anya give her inner monologue to the audience... Enjoy!
Turning around to face Buffy, Giles removes his glasses, wiping them on his shirt before speaking. "I'm afraid I've been doing a little recalculating. The festival of Jo'ory is likely to take place somewhat, erm, sooner, that we had anticipated."
"Giles! How can there be another one?" Buffy is frustrated. Poor thing. Riley having just left and all, between her tears and moans, it's no wonder she doesn't have the energy to avert another apocalypse.
Watching Buffy and Giles is like watching D'Hoffryn and myself. The games we played for a thousand or so years. Of course, D'Hoffryn compensated me for my work, whereas Buffy receives no financial reward for her services. Frankly, I understand her reluctance.
"Un-American," I whisper to myself. "Entirely Un-American."
"Anya? Something to add?" Damn. Giles heard me. That man, tricking us all with his faulty vision, using the glasses as a prop to insinuate error in his senses, when all along his ears work perfectly well.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. I was merely thinking that keeping bunnies as pets is not really appropriate in this country. Or this dimension." I nod. There. I've saved the day, as usual, but Xander looks at me like I'm crazy, and Willow looks at me? well, Willow looks at me the way she usually does; as though Xander's crazy. Only Tara smiles at me sympathetically; Buffy looks irritated and Giles removes his glasses for the umpteenth time.
Buffy sighs and addresses Giles. "So. Apocalypse. Again. What's the sitch, and why is it called a festival if it's the end of the world?"
Before Giles can answer, I do. Or I try to; "Well," I begin, when the Magic Box bell tinkles and the door swings open, revealing Angel, looking tall and broody, as usual. He's very attractive, and I think it's a great pity that Xander isn't keen on threesomes. Although the curse could be pesky too, the way Xander explained it to me. So all in all, Angel's very presence is a big waste of time.
Buffy doesn't think so though, and neither does Xander. He's eyeing him warily, and I'm irritated. Why should he care if Buffy's happy to see Angel or not? He and I had sex just last night, and twice the night before that, so there's no reason he should care about Buffy's reaction at all.
"So Angel, are you evil?" Before I can stop myself, it's slipped out and they're all glaring at me again- except for Angel, who come to think of it, just looks really confused.
"No?" He pauses for a second. "At least, I don't think so? I'm not sure what I'm doing here, exactly."
"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" Giles explodes all of a sudden. "Like I said, the festival of Jo'ory is going to take place, and one of the portents to this is exactly what we are currently witnessing."
He does get wordy sometimes, does Giles, and I honestly don't know if this is because he's British or just because he's old. It's on the tip of my tongue to ask, but I remember Xander's frequent chastising for making social faux pas, and decide to stay quiet.
Buffy turns to Giles. "Okay. Splainy. I'm listening."
"The Jo'or are a tribe of demons who, prior to important rituals, set up some rather intricate confusion spells leading to rather random things happening, such as Angel's unannounced arrival."
"Oh! I know! Like how this morning I was absolutely convinced I had a younger sister called Dawn!"
"You don't?" Willow has wrinkled her face up in that way she has, like she's tasted something unpleasant. "Then who did we rescue last Tuesday? Remember, she ran away late at night again, we had to get Spike to help us find her, Giles was kidnapped in the process?" She trails off.
"Sweetie, Giles was never kidnapped."
"Oh!" It's all making sense to me. "And I thought someone had stolen money last night, but it just turned out that when I foolishly allowed Willow to assist in closing she counted wrong. See," I add proudly, "Another example of confusion spells! I would never have allowed Willow to touch the money if I hadn't been confused."
Tara leans over and whispers to Xander, obviously realising that Willow can't be counted on to give her correct facts. Poor Willow has clearly been befuddled more than the rest of us. "So, did Buffy really have a boyfriend called Riley, but he just left in a helicopter?"
Xander nodded. "I think so," he whispers back.
"Riley left? You don't say." Mr. Broody has perked up very quickly, and I look around for a stake. Just in case.
"Children! There are more important things at stake here than wondering whether Buffy is now single, or whether I was kidnapped, or who counted the cash last night!"
I shrug. I'm 1122 years old. Clearly not a child. "I'm 1122 years old, Giles. I'm old enough to buy beer, and I don't like being referred to as a child."
Angel catches my eye. "Me too. I'm over two centuries old, and I don't like being referred to as a child either."
Giles sighs, and removes his glasses, putting them on the table rather than cleaning them for once. "The earth is doomed."
