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  • Waiting

    Title: Waiting
    Disclamer:I have no rights whatsoever on anything Joss & co came up with first
    Setting: Between seasons 3 & 4.

    ~

    Buffy Summers strolled slowly amongst the looming crypts and scattered headstones of the night's choice of Cemetery, the beam of her flashlight wandering lazily before her. Her steps were measured and her pace leisurely as she followed the all too familiar route she had patrolled a gazillion times before.

    It was getting late, even for her; the night ebbing away to the few small hours she usually earmarked for sleep. So far it had been quiet as well, the vampires and demons conspicuous only by their absence. Maybe, she mused, they were doing it deliberately, trying some kind of new tactic. Yeah, that was it; they were trying to bore her to death.

    She sighed heavily and took a seat on a nearby tomb, removing the strap of her bag from around her neck and placing it next to her on the cold stone, she glanced around at the empty surroundings. Solo patrols were the worst, she thought; no-one to keep her company, no-one to chat with, no-one to divert her thoughts from the big Angel-shaped hole that still gaped in her heart.

    It had been what, three weeks now? Yep, three whole weeks since he had disappeared into the smoke of the burning high school. Three weeks since he had broken her heart so that she could have a chance to be happy. To Buffy it seemed as if it was only yesterday. The moment was frozen, moving slowly away from her like a drifting glacier as the uncaring world sped by.

    Of course it would be different if Will were here. She could almost see her friend now, eyes as shiny as her smile as she shared the latest thrilling instalment of her developing love life. Those instalments had got more than a little racy since graduation too, not that Buffy minded that, not at all. She might be a boyless Buffy at the moment but second hand smoochies were better than none and the word Oz had a way of making the redhead infectiously giddy. Buffy grinned despite herself; giddy Willow was always fun

    But of course Willow was busy, probably making fresh gossip right now.Xander would be half way to Canada by now and Giles was being, well ?weird. Not that the boys would be quite as handy as Will right now anyway. Giles was uselessly British with girl talk and Xander a little too? interested, in certain details. But at least they could still provide that welcome distraction from her introspection.

    She had to admit too to being a little jealous of Xander,'s freedom, his being able to just drop everything and take a sight seeing trip round the country. It was, after all, something that didn't figure in her immediate future or even her far, far away future come to that. She could just imagine him now in some glitzy nightclub, drinking some exotic cocktail and waiting for the strippers to appear. Actually of all her friends, of all the people that she had known throughout her life in fact, she doubted any were sitting alone in a dark graveyard, right now, waiting for the rise of the evil dead.

    And that was it. She could go to college, get a job and a house and big pile of bills but part of her life would always be here; part of her would always be waiting in the dark for the next fight, the next life or death struggle. She was trapped just as much as Angel, caught between two worlds that could never truly exist together, torn between the human and the demon, the sunlight and the dark and not really belonging to either.

    She shifted restlessly on her stone perch, and gazed up at the stars twinkling joyously in the clear night sky. She knew now that it was pointless to wish for anything else. She couldn't escape what she was, couldn't run away from her responsibilities. Been there, tried that, didn't work. Faith and Kendra had given her a brief hope of being able to at least share her responsibilities, to maybe free herself from the dark every now and then, but with one dead and one in a coma that really wasn't looking all that good. No she would just have to face it; she was the slayer, the chosen one, and this would always be a part of her life.

    Angel had left her so that she could have a chance at a normal life, a normal relationship with a normal guy, someone she could share herself with, someone she could grow old with. But even if she did find such a man, someone to mend her broken heart, could she let him in, let him know who and what she was? Would she be able to endanger yet another life? Or would she have to spend the rest of her life living a lie?

    She sighed again and rose from her stony perch, readying herself to continue the patrol. Why was there never a vampire handy when you need one, she thought. What she needed was something she could be sure about, or at least something to pummel until the uncertainty left her. She took a final look around her, just to be sure, and slowly wandered back into the welcoming arms of the dark and waiting night.

    ~
    Last edited by tangent; 30-05-07, 08:48 PM.
    JUST ENOUGH KILL

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