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  • Favorite Quotes

    It's been a long time since I've read The Chain, so

    The Long Way Home

    XANDER: "Xander", Renee, I told you, it's "Xander" or "Sergeant Fury".

    RENEE: Wasn't Nick Fury a *colonel* when he ran S.H.I.E.L.D.?

    XANDER: I like him better in the "Howling Commando" days. But your nerd points are accumulating impressively.

    RENEE: I try, Sergeant.

    **

    DAWN: I could swat you like a flea.

    BUFFY: Your butt looks big in those giant pants.

    **

    BUFFY: No, no, I can't go outside, I'm afraid of the dark.

    XANDER: Buffy, you *are* the dark.

    BUFFY: That's what I meant.

    XANDER: This lint is so Scottish.

    **

    XANDER: Say it with me now: Fe Fi Fo?

    And outside, we see Dawn towering over Amy. Dawn's face is grinning and mean, and her sneaker is already hovering over Amy as the witch turns up in fear.

    DAWN: ? ****ing fum.

    **

    XANDER: There's funny bonhomie happening and I want in!

    BUFFY: No? ahh? ahh? girl thing.

    XANDER: Girl thing? With girl parts? Now I really need to know!

    WILLOW: Slow year, Xan?

    XANDER: Oh, I'm getting *plenty* of action, Elphaba. I'm Action Jackson.

    **

    BUFFY: Yes sir Mister Watcher sir.

    XANDER: I'll Watcher your *butt*, lady.

    BUFFY: Your grammar is not so much.


    No Future For You


    FAITH: Sorry, I? I don't like getting pawed at. Not unless I paw first.

    GILES: Duly noted.

    **

    XANDER: Fear my awesome power! For lo, like Kurt Russell before me, I am a formidable eyepatch-clad opponent. And lest you think I refer to Captain Ron, let me assured you that the one-eyed character of which I speak is none other than the mighty Snake Plissken, who taught me the very ass-handing I'm about to deliver unto you.

    BUFFY: (entering the room) Careful, Xander, you're going to taunt that poor bag right off its chain.

    XANDER: BUFFY!

    **

    WILLOW: No one's trying to lecture you, Dawn, but none of my spells are going to shrink you like a cotton sweater until I know exactly what mojo your loverboy used. And speaking of clothes, have you been wearing the same outfit ever since you? blossomed?

    **

    WILLOW: Not killing humans is what separates us from the bad guys.

    BUFFY: No, not being *bad* is what separates us from the bad guys.

    **

    (NARRATION) FAITH: Whenever she's [Buffy] around, you're [Faith] the villain. But as soon as she's gone, you're the hero.

    **

    (NARRATION) FAITH: But I don't know. Dude [The Mayor] may have been a bit of a snake? but he wasn't a dog.

    **

    In a close-up, we see Giles' cell phone. He apparently heard or felt it, and the display shows the caller ID ? "WILLOW MOBILE".

    GILES: (to himself) Speaking of witch?

    **

    GILES: Actually, given your most recent performance, I was envisioning more of a partnership between equals. We could perform those peacekeeping missions ill suited to others in our line of work. Maybe I could be the Steed to your Peel?

    FAITH: God, I hope that's not as gross as it sounds.
    Made by Trickyboxes
    Halfrek gives Spike the curse that will change his entire life. Teenage Dirtbag

  • #2
    Oh so many. Some that have been labeled as classic Buffy quotes in my book include:

    WARREN: But you, Rosenberg, you really got under my skin.

    YAMANH: Buffy Summers... IS DEAD!

    GILES: The only chance you have at killing this Slayer is by getting close to her through subterfuge and cunning.
    FAITH: Hey, I likes me some kink, but if you think I'm going downtown on this chick, you chose the wrong Chosen One.

    GIGI: May I bum a fag?
    FAITH: You can bum whoever you... oh.

    GILES: Burst.

    sigpic

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    • #3
      BUFFY: The thing about changing the world... once you do it, the world's all different.


      BUFFY: Here at command central. Not so much with the hilarious. More with the "what, the hell am I doing?"

      LEAH: What th' hell is she doing?


      LEAH: That were a wee bit repulsive

      BUFFY: Went okay. 'Cept I feel a little weird about using a crucifix to kill someone

      Leah: Yeah dinno much about religion do yeh?


      DAWN: I could swat you like a flea

      BUFFY: Your butt looks big in those giant pants.


      GENERAL VOLL: Who compromised our intel-

      ARMY GUY: Magic general. You still have to learn the rules.

      GENERAL VOLL: There aren't any goddamn rules

      ARMY GUY: That's sort of what I meant


      XANDER: Amy. Lon time, no desire whatosever to see.


      WILLOW: As a friend of mine once said.. I'd like to test that theory


      GILES: No one's exactly giggling on this side of the fence either


      XANDER: Of course, according to my parents the action I'm getting right now should make my last remaining eye go blind


      BUFFY: We're being played Xander. I'm not liking it.


      WARREN: I remember thinking and it comes up again in this situation I just have to wonder... are you bored now?


      ARMY GENERAL: Sound off! Who's hurt? Stay calm dammit!

      BUFFY: No. Panic.


      BUFFY DECOY: But that's the point. There's always a name. Lincoln. Hitler. Ghandi. The name can inspire terror, awe.. sometimes great things. But there's millions of people go into making a name. People facing things they couldn't imagine they would. In the momnets that matter even our own names are just sounds people make to tell us apart. What we are isn't that. The real questions run deeper. Can I fight? Did I help? Did I do for my sisters? My comrades, children, slimy slug-clan... there is a chain beween each and everyone of us.And like the man said, you either feel its tug or you ignore it. I tried to feel it. I tried to face the dakness like a woman and I don't need any more than that. You don't have to remember me. You don't even know who I am. But I do.


      GILES: I must say, for cupboards this bare, you have an exceptional selection of chamomiles.

      FAITH: What those smelly bags? Use 'em on the dark circles under my eyes

      GILES: (Wipes his mouth) Yes, well.....



      FAITH: What brings you to my neck Giles? Haven't clocked you since the Sunny D went from being an outie to an innie.


      RODEN: As a wie man once said, you can't have any pudding.. if you don't eat your meat.


      XANDER: That's a negatory. Giles has been incommunicado for a few weeks now. But I'm sure he's got too many nw books that need shelving to worry about a classic that's already checked out you know?


      FAITH: This is friendship. Step one you finally meet someone you dig, somebody you can groove with, somebody who doesn't seem like all the other phony losers out there. Step two: they share a little of themselves with you, you share everything with them. Step three: It all goes to crap. They hurt you. You hurt 'em back. Or maybe it's the other way around. Whatever. Someday you might find a way to forgive each other. But it won't ever be like it used to 'cause that pain never really fades away.

      RENEE: Actually, she said she was looking for, and I quote "Laptop- geek Willow, not broomstick-action Willow"


      GIGI: I like any song that can make me cry while everyone else is dancing

      ~ Banner by Nina ~

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      • #4
        XANDER: (NARRATION) I used to be in construction. Pay was good. Hours were way better than this. They even ended occasionally.
        ***
        LOOKING AT THE SYMBOL FOUND ON THE CORPSES CHEST
        BUFFY: So what's it all Mean
        XANDER: Nothing from the experts, but I've been studying it for a while
        BUFFY: And?
        XANDER: I think it's a frown turned upside down. And then turned upside down again
        BUFFY: So you think it's a frown
        XANDER: Guy with a monocle frowning
        BUFFY: You're a terrible watcher
        XANDER: I'm not a watcher
        BUFFY: Well clearly.
        ***
        XANDER: You know I only have two of these outfits
        ***
        BUFFY: I make a wish that I don't fall I make a wish that I don't fall (Large claws go through her hands and feet, holding her in midair) Aggh! NEW WISH! NEW WISH!
        ***
        XANDER: This is the crappiest sacrificial dagger I've ever seen
        ***
        XANDER: So this doesn't have to be someone she's in love with
        AMY: No, I said. Just someone truely in love with her
        XANDER: But not friend love
        AMY: Right. Someone who wants to kiss her, like, they're passionate about her.
        XANDER: And not a sister
        AMY: Well a TWISTED sister
        XANDER: HA! But no, I hate you
        ***
        BUFFY: Three X's. Tripla X. So it''s either Vin Diesel or porn, neither of which is real attractive.
        ***
        XANDER: According to my parents the action I'm getting right now should make my last remaining eye go blind
        ***
        XANDER: Bring me back a watch
        ***
        Tap dancing hurts if you fall in the sink

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