Xanya "Such Passion and Grace" Club

[TrueVengeance]

Did anyone else love the couple of Xander and Anya?

To get a discussion started:

What are your favorite Xanya moments?
Whats your favorite Xanya quotes?
Should they have gotten married?
What else did you love about them?

I honestly think Xander was right to call off the wedding, but he should have done it differently. I really wish he would have been more honest with Anya from the start, because he had doubts even before OMWF.

[LRae12]

I think the show pulled a cop-out by not marrying Xanya. I think a marriage in the show would have added some new and compelling storylines that would have enhanced the show.

I loved the comedy that was Xanya...in most real-life ships love can't last without humor...because nobody is perfect and when you can laugh about it you can make it work.

I loved Where the Wild Things Are...Anya's feared rejection over the one night they didn't have sex...it was so hysterical..."That's all I do now is not have sex." LOL.

Did anybody else find it strange that the only person in the Buffyverse who seemed to be well-adjusted to a relationship was Anya, the ex-demon? Everybody else was so whacked...

Oh, and btw TrueVengence - I just LOVE your avvie...I have that scene in She on my computer so that when I'm feeling blue I can pull it up and laugh at the dancing!

[redrevo]

I think the show pulled a cop-out by not marrying Xanya. I think a marriage in the show would have added some new and compelling storylines that would have enhanced the show.

Well, they needed to degrade Xander in some way, as s6 was supposed to be really dark, plus otherwise he wouldn't talk about being useless and then get to save the world. I think the writers wanted to bring out some of Xander's personal issues, but if Anya had lived I would have liked to see them legally married, not a big ceremony inviting Xander's parents and Anya's demon "friends."

[Sosa lola]

I'm growing to LOVE Xander/Anya a lot, please sign me in.

I think deep down Xander really wanted to marry her, maybe he thought those doubts he had are normal. Many young men and women have doubts before they get married but they don't let them take over them. Or perhaps Xander didn't really wanna face the hard truths, or didn't want to upset Anya, I think he'd have married her even with the doubts if it wasn't for the visions- which were clearly Xander's nightmare of the whole marriage. I'm not sure how their life would have gone like once they're married, but it was good to call it off when he had strong doubts.

His way of ending the wedding was really awful, he should have handled it better. Maybe not leave Anya to clean the mess by herself.

[enigma]

Xanya...love 'em!

One of my favorite moments between them is when Xander proposed to Anya and she had a moment of overwhelmness and then she slapped him!!

I think they should of gotten married and Xander should of talked out his fears with Anya because she had them too.

I love their dance scene in OMWF...so cute!!!!

Can I be apart of club pretty please...???

[Epic]

What are your favorite Xanya moments?
When Xander tells her he loves her the first time. How when he proposes she slaps him and tells him to give her the ring later. I love the fact that they didn't get married but it didn't mean they didn't stop caring... The way he saves her in Selfless, and the way he knows exactally the way to say her goodbye.


Whats your favorite Xanya quotes?
"XANDER: You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. "
(into the woods)
"ANYA: After. Give it to me when the world doesn't end.
(the gift)

* And probally my favorite...
"XANDER: That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing."
Chosen

Should they have gotten married?
I'm almost torn with this question, but I have to say no. I think that when they didn't get married it helped both of their characters grow. And it didn't matter because in the end they still knew that they loved eachother, which i think is more than many of the relationships on the show over the years can say. When they find their way back to eachother in touched, its a heartwarming, funny almost way of saying goodbye to the exact certainty of what it was, to whatever it would be in both of their futures, together and sepperate.

What else did you love about them?
I loved that when we first all saw PROM there is no way we all figured we would fall in love with this ship that much.

My second favorite thing is how it took Buffy loosing Riley to make Xander relize he didn't want to loose Anya.

[Sosa lola]

This a beautiful essay on why Xander left Anya:

When Xander asked Anya to marry him at the end of last season, right before the showdown with Glory, Anya was a bit miffed. She wondered if he was asking her because they were all going to die anyway, and he wouldn't have to go through with it. There may have been some truth to Anya's speculation. Xander certainly wasn't ready to get married. For Xander Harris has been carrying around some pretty significant baggage: his fear that he will become a drunken, abusive oaf, like his father, and his unresolved feelings for Buffy. The appearance of the supposed Older Xander brings these two issues to a head.

Older Xander mesmerizes his younger self with a glow-y sphere thingy, which sucks the Young Xander right in, both literally and metaphorically. Once inside, he experiences the horror of his future married life with Anya, first hand. He drinks himself into a stupor, while watching a football game as his harried wife scurries around, picking up his beer bottles. He can't work, he reminds her, because of his back. Anya is furious. "You had no business fighting demons with her."

"Buffy needed me," Xander replies. "I had to help."

"Well, it didn't save her, did it? All it did was ruin our lives," Anya snaps.

Obviously, one of Xander's deepest fears, if we are to believe that this is Xander's own nightmare version of his future, is that he won't be able to save Buffy. He tells himself that Buffy needs him, and he desperately needs to be needed. He needs to feel useful, but in the end he is powerless to save the woman who, even after he gets married, continues to be at the center of his existence. Xander still places Buffy above everything else, and this has bred an understandable resentment in his wife, who has, judging from the demonic appearance of their daughter, Sarah, been having an extramarital dalliance with Clem.

The final part of the vision further articulates the fears that Xander just can't quell. Future Xander is arguing with Anya. "If you're so unhappy, why didn't you just leave?" he asks.

"I wanted to. I should have," Anya replies bitterly.

"Yeah you should. Cause then maybe I would've got some touch in the past twenty years," Xander responds maliciously.

This touches a nerve, "I wasn't the one that stopped touching." Anya's eyes fill with pain.

"Oh ho! Maybe. But you weren't touching me," Xander retorts, an obvious reference to his spouse's infidelity.

"Well, what did you expect me to do? You wouldn't touch me after Buff--"

Again, the Buffy issue rears its ugly head. After Buffy died, Xander didn't have sex with his wife. He obviously has feelings for the Slayer that have never been fully resolved. In some ways, he's never gotten past his unrequited high school passion.

After some additional fighting, Anya reveals that being married to Xander has made her hate herself. Xander can't stand to hear these truths anymore, and he goes after his wife with a frying pan, wanting to shut her up any way he can.

Like his father, he has become abusive.

So, at heart, Xander is afraid that getting married will bring out the worst in him. Like his father, he will become a drunken, abusive lout. Like his father, he will not be emotionally committed to his wife. Instead, Xander pines after the idealized woman that got away, that was never really his. He will have to resolve his feelings for Buffy and come to grips with his inner demons before he will ever be able to be in a committed relationship. This will be hard for Xander, however, as he is a child of abuse and needs some serious therapy. Seeing his family first hand really drove home just how horrible Xander's life must have been before he found his purpose as a Scooby. But now, after rejecting his bride-to-be, he is, for the first time in a long time, walking alone in fear.

The rest of the essay here:

http://www.bloodyawfulpoet.com/episodes/hellr.html