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Stupid Topic: Who would win, Buffy or River?

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  • Stupid Topic: Who would win, Buffy or River?

    When in doubt, break the ice with "who would win?"

    I think River has her beat on speed and can probably run circles around her with her psychic powers, but Buffy probably only needs to land one good shot to put her down, so I say Buffy.
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  • #2
    My first instinct is to say that Buffy would win. I mean she has defeated so many foes that are stronger than her and she is physically stronger than River.

    I guess it would depend on the conditions of the fight. I feel like River could do a lot of damage if she had the element of surprise since she's very sneaky.


    • #3
      I dunno after seeing Serenity I think River would give Buffy a run for her money. If it came down to it, just Buffy vs. River, no friends to help out and no over charged emotion behind it, I think River would win.

      Buffy has always had factors in her fights that were in her favor that allowed her to win.
      S1- Xander revived her, otherwise she would be dead.
      S2- The whole Angel/Angelus thing gave her the over charged emotion in her favor.
      S3- She had a whole school on her side, plus bombs...
      S4- It was a scoobie thing, not a Buffy thing.
      S5- Buffybot+Hammer+Giles= Glory defeated.
      S6- Xander was da man.
      S7- Willow+Scyther+Potentials+Spike!Amulet= Buffy winning.

      So yeah, I really think that River has the Physical and Psychic strength to beat Buffy.
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      • #4
        Yeah Buffy would get her ass kicked. River is more choreographed. More exact in her killing. She would whoop all over Buffy.

        Now if it were a competition on whose team could beat whose... My bet is on the scoobies. Jayne is a good shot and Zoe kicks ass but Kaylee is only motivated by her want of sex with Simon and now that she's got that . . . So that puts it 4 seasoned vets against a 4 gun hands. Then again maybe the Browncoats would win afterall :P


        • #5
          It's a close call for me. Those two could go all night, solo. And, as long as she stayed outside, I think River would ultimately harass her into submission.

          But, again, with Slayer strength, doesn't it just take Buffy getting a grip on River's wrist long enough to punch her into a wire-stunt? It seems like, assuming all hand to hand, no guns or blades, that it's a one punch fight for Buffy... if she can land it.
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          • #6
            I don't know... My inclination is to go with River. I don't think the psychic abilities should be underestimated. She could tie Buffy up "psychically" and do some damage there. In a way I think of her as a lot like Dark Willow. And Buffy will even tell you Willow is much more powerful than she is. Also, Buffy's not into guns. River is. Buffy's fists vs. River w/a gun + psychic powers = a fight I would really like to see!!
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            • #7
              Ok, but we have to remember that Buffy's fighting was represented on a tv budget whereas River's was done on a movie budget. Those are two very different things. I always think that like in 'real life' Buffy would be more polished and badass than she sometimes seemed.


              • #8
                I'd go for River. Admittedly if Buffy could get a punch in she could destroy river's weak human bones etc. but River's intelliegence and fighting skill I think surpasses Buffy's to the extent that Buffy never would be able to land the blow. I think that River would also know how to strike Buffy in a way that she could end it very easily as well.
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                • #9
                  I think this is a really easy one; Buffy. Buffy is a slayer, River was a human being who knew martial arts and whilst did have some physic ability, since when did this help her in a fight? In Serenity River had bloody hands after beating those guys up, her body was just like any other humans. Buffy on the otherhand has super strength, any punches River manages to land on Buffy would do nowhere near the amount of damage that Buffy's would on River. Buffy could hurl River across the room, and does have healing ability, natural skill and speed as well. I don't think River would stand a chance against Buffy.

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                  • #10
                    There'd be no winner in a Buffy vs. River smackdown.

                    IMO, they would realize in the first 10 seconds of fighting that they were so evenly matched as to make any further fighting irrelevant. My guess is that they would spend the rest of the evening at the pub throwing darts and drinking pitchers of margaritas.
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Yoyo View Post
                      My guess is that they would spend the rest of the evening at the pub throwing darts and drinking pitchers of margaritas.
                      Not sure about the darts but bring on the Margaritas!

                      I think I'd have to go on Buffy on this, but I do think it would be a very long and drawn out fight, because it's the old spacemen v astronauts arguement - brawn and muscles over cunning and intelligence. Buffy would, as already mentioned, be less "hurt" by any punches/kicks etc that River planted on her, but River could outsmart Buffy into making a stupid mistake (like the vamp did in FFL, and staked her with her own stake).

                      What I'd be interested in knowing is what could have happened for the two of them to be fighting in the first place? Buffy doesn't start fights with humans for no good reason, and River would have to be "activated" and that would indicate she pose a threat to the Alliance (ooh, season 8 connotations maybe?)

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