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Favorite Buffy One-Liners

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  • Favorite Buffy One-Liners

    The title is pretty self-explanatory. Got a favorite line from Buffy? Post it. There is no limit on how many you want to post.

    To start off:

    Riley: Besides, "I'm here to violate your firstborn" never goes over with parents. Not sure why.
    Hellmouth Tourist
    Last edited by ivory_lines; 07-01-09, 05:00 AM.
    Love isn't brains, children! It's blood, blood screaming inside you to work its will.

  • #2
    I'm bad with remembering lines;

    the only one I can remember right now is Angel's only funny line on BtVS
    (Why did the writers denied him his humor *shakes head*)

    "I'm a funny guy."

    And of course Spikes 'out for a walk ... bitch'.

    And lots of other lines I will remember another time.
    and her haircut.
    Last edited by Nina; 03-01-09, 12:55 AM.


    • #3
      Oh while were talking about Funny one liners...

      How about Buffy's to Spike in 'Crush'

      'The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious'

      or I just love Anne's

      'I'm Buffy, The Vampire Slayer and you are?'

      then theres Becoming Part II

      'You stupid little troll... you have no idea!'

      Edit: Two more I just could not write in

      The Gift

      'Your not the brightest god in the heavens are you'

      Tough Love

      Glory: 'You know what they used to witches honey, crucify them
      Buffy: They used to bow down to gods things change
      I don't get wet
      Last edited by Bittersweettwit; 03-01-09, 12:13 AM.

      Avatar made by Shameless666 of Livejournal


      • #4
        Oh what a great idea! My favourite one of all time is in Season Six Episode 15 "As You Were"

        A brief reminder Riley comes back with Sam and Buffy hates her and Willow at the beginning promises not to like her, but through the episode becomes great friends with her. Then at the end when they are leaving everyone but Buffy is like oh we'll definitley keep in touch and we'll miss you (willow in particular) and then Willow walks over to Buffy and says What a Bitch. It was so hilarious for me but i just love that quote.


        • #5
          Well I'm fond of Buffy's line to the Master in "Prophecy Girl":

          "What can I say? I flunked the written."


          • #6
            One of my favorite off the top of my head

            Buffy in "Intervention"

            BUFFY: "No, *she*'s a robot. She acts just like that girlfriend-bot that Warren guy made. You guys couldn't tell me apart from a robot?"


            • #7
              One of my favorites is:

              Maggie Walsh: The Slayer. We thought you were a myth.
              Buffy: You were myth-taken!

              I laugh every time I even think that line.


              • #8
                My absolute favorite line of the entire series is :

                Buffy: Ugh. She's even affecting my work, now. She's the Titanic. She's a crawling black cancer.
                [kicks and breaks the bench]
                Buffy: She's... other really... bad things.
                Oz: On the plus side, you killed the bench which was lookin' shifty.

                Best line ever

                I love these lines from Band Candy:

                Willow: Kiss Rocks? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh wait, I get it.

                Buffy: So Ethan, what are we playing? You're pretty much in a talk or bleed situation. Your call.
                Ethan Rayne: I-I'd just like to point out that this wasn't my idea.
                Giles: Hit him.
                Buffy: Meaning?
                Ethan Rayne: I'm subcontracting. It's Trick you want. I'm just helping him collect a tribute, for a demon.
                Giles: [as teenage Giles] He's lying. Hit him.
                Buffy: [to Giles] I don't think he is and shut up.
                Giles: You're my Slayer. Go knock his teeth down his thro...
                Buffy: Giles!
                [to Ethan]
                Buffy: What demon?
                Ethan Rayne: I don't remember.
                [Buffy punches Ethan]
                Giles: [jumps off the ground] Yes!

                Teenage Giles is amazing

                Principal Snyder: Call me Snyder. Just a last name, like... Barbarino. and Principal Snyder: Summers, you drive like a SPAZ!

                Okay pretty much anything Oz says is hilarious and they're like all one liners

                Oz: Maybe it's 'cause of all the horrific things we've seen, but, hippos wearing tutus just don't unnerve me the way they used to.

                Oz: [Thinking] I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me, and she becomes me. I cease to exist.

                Xander: For a minute there, I thought you were gonna make an expression.
                Oz: Well, I felt one comin' on. I won't lie.

                Oz: [about the reanimated cat] It looks dead, it smells dead, yet it's moving around. That's interesting.

                Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
                Cordelia: What's the difference?
                Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

                Oz: I can see why you'd be upset. Oh, that was my sarcastic voice.
                Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
                Oz: I've been told that.

                Oz: I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable.

                Lol sorry for having so many I'll add more later.
                Hellmouth Tourist
                Last edited by bradyml57; 03-01-09, 05:24 AM.
                Oz: Hey.
                Oz: That girl. Who is she?
                Devon: She's an exchange student. I think she's from South America.
                Oz: No, not her. The Eskimo!


                • #9
                  "If the Apocalypse comes, beep me."

                  "I may be loves bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

                  Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.
                  ?I think it?s the title of the show. Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It?s like a line in the sand. And unless you appreciate irony and are somewhat sophisticated you?re not going to watch that show.?
                  - James Marsters


                  • #10
                    I totally agree with bradyml57, especially that first Oz line! I love all of Oz's one-liners, a LOT.

                    My favorite line is in "Graduation Day", when they are trying to figure out ways to take down the master once he turns into a pure demon, Cordelia suggests chasing his with a box that says "GERMS" And then Oz mentions attacking him with hummus Best. Scene. Ever!!!!


                    • #11
                      Oh fun!

                      One of my favorites
                      Spike: What can I tell you baby? I've always been bad.
                      Flash to William the Poet


                      • #12
                        After Buffy says Dawn's friend is a bad influence because she is too short:

                        RILEY: Yeah, a lot of young people nowadays are experimenting with shortness. Gotta nip that in the bud. - the best line Riley ever came out with.


                        • #13
                          Oh and I love Spikes line in this episode !

                          Olaf the Troll: You there, do you know where there are babies?
                          Spike: [to Xander] What do you think, the hospital?

                          I laugh everytime I hear this.

                          Xander Harris: Well, we can take care of the hungry. So, how's about you just sit down in one of the sturdier chairs, and we could have a calm talk and something to eat.
                          Olaf the Troll: Can it be babies?
                          Xander Harris: Well, not so much.
                          Olaf the Troll: Ooh.
                          Xander Harris: But maybe some roast pigs and stags and much hearty grog.
                          Spike: They've got this onion thing...
                          Oz: Hey.
                          Oz: That girl. Who is she?
                          Devon: She's an exchange student. I think she's from South America.
                          Oz: No, not her. The Eskimo!


                          • #14
                            Fine. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WHORES!!!
                            ^^^ Probably one of Buffy's greatest lines EVA!!

                            Xander in When She Was Bad: A Bitca?

                            Giles and Xander in Something Blue-
                            Xander: How? What? How?
                            Giles: Three excellent questions.

                            Pretty much everything in the episode Him is funny but Willow's, "you'd kill for a chocolate bar" always made me chuckle.

                            Tabula Rasa's, "I feel like a Joan." I Buffy! I'm sorry but of all the names there are to choose from she chose Joan. Too funny.

                            Buffy in the beginning of Lessons, "You're stuck."

                            And one of the only good pieces of CWDP for me is Buffy's line, "Okay, this is beyond evil, this is insane troll logic."
                            T _A _T _E _R _S'____ W _O _R _L _D

                            Proud recipient of the "Vagenis Award of Excellence"


                            • #15
                              I love this :

                              Xander: Where is he? Where's the creep that turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch?

                              Buffy: He's gone.
                              Xander: Damnit. You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey.

                              Oz: Hey.
                              Oz: That girl. Who is she?
                              Devon: She's an exchange student. I think she's from South America.
                              Oz: No, not her. The Eskimo!


                              • #16
                                Off the top of my head, this may not be an exact quote, but it'll be fairly obvious what I'm talking about:

                                "You know, vampires, you eat this late... you're gonna get heartburn." - Buffy in Wild At Heart, I think this is probably because it's a fairly bad pun, but it's also quite funny, also the littrle mutterings Buffy has with herself directly after the vampire dusts is funny too.


                                • #17
                                  All of Xander's dialogue in Buffy vs Dracula. But especially his dark master...bator and unholy prince...bator ones. I know, wank jokes, not sophisticated. But I am basic. Also, Buffy's quip about "music video wind".

                                  Buffy's quip about Angel being an "Undead American" - not able to remember the whole line but something like "I'm sorry, is that an offensive term. What would you prefer? undead American" (after calling him a vampire).

                                  "A vampire with a soul, how lame is that?" - love a bit of an in joke.

                                  -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --


                                  • #18
                                    This is not from the shows but the comic has one of my favourite lines. It's during Andrews rant about Star Wars and he refers to Lando Calrissian as "african-besbinian".


                                    • #19
                                      I love Andrew's line about Timothy Dalton who should hit Sean Connery on the head with his Oscar.


                                      • #20
                                        I loved;

                                        Cordy: I'm dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale High swim team
                                        Buffy: You can die happy!

                                        Buffy: Funny
                                        Angel: I'm a funny guy.

                                        Buffy: (reads) 'Sisterhood of Jhe. Race of female demons, fierce warriors...' Eww. '...celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes.' They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other?

                                        Xander: A Bitca?

                                        Spike: Out. For. A. Walk... Bitch.

                                        Cordy: Xander, do you know what you need... besides a years supply of acne cream? A brain!

                                        Buffy: In the three seconds it takes for you to turn into dust, I think you'll find the mistake was touching my stuff!

                                        Buffy: I'm not finished. Then you say, 'How do you feel about Mexican?'

                                        Giles: About Mexicans?

                                        Plenty more but their all my fun little lines that seem to generally go un noticed.

                                        ~ Banner by Nina ~