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I'm sacrificing a goat once an hour on the hour all day so that Boris doesn't win

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  • I'm sacrificing a goat once an hour on the hour all day so that Boris doesn't win

    What are you doing in the fight against Boris? What will you tell your grandchildren you were doing when this battle was fought? Will you be able to face them? If you live in London and haven't voted...get on the case! Otherwise, when Boris turns into a giant snake come ascension day, I will say a big I told you so...


    -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --

  • #2
    "You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say "goats."..."

    I know nothing of this Boris of which you speak, but admire your commitment to civic responsibility.
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    • #3
      Originally posted by KingofCretins View Post
      "You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say "goats."..."

      I know nothing of this Boris of which you speak, but admire your commitment to civic responsibility.
      Imagine if one of the Muppets had been to public school and had spent the last twenty years of his life shagging everything that moves while saying deeply offensive, idiotic things. That's Boris Johnson.

      He's very funny as a tv celebrity (he was on a comedy quiz show called Have I Got News For You for a while) but the idea of him actually running London is terrifying. So terrifying that I started a facebook group about how I'd rather have Mayor Wilkins than Boris. I mean, at least the Mayor can organise his way out of a paper bag.


      -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --

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      • #4
        Wolfie are you seriously concerned about Boris? By fielding him as a candidate the Tories have handed another term to Ken, and that's a good thing. I understand your fear, but do not worry, it is not going to happen. Londoners aren't that stupid.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by dev View Post
          Wolfie are you seriously concerned about Boris? By fielding him as a candidate the Tories have handed another term to Ken, and that's a good thing. I understand your fear, but do not worry, it is not going to happen. Londoners aren't that stupid.
          I am genuinely afraid, no kidding. It started out seeming like a joke...but he's been ahead in the polls a few times.

          But, hopefully not in the end. I think Ken did a good job of rallying the voters.


          -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --

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          • #6
            When in one of a million interviews, Boris claimed to have 'cut down' on his drinking during campaigning. So rest assured, whilst making speeches, deciding on the policies that will affect 7 million Londoners and attempting to rally voters, Boris was was only half-drunk. And sadly, his attempt to prove his multi-cultural credentials with the inner city local kids was foiled when he proudly announced 'I am down with the ethnics.'
            The_Narrator
            Hellmouth Tourist
            Last edited by The_Narrator; 02-05-08, 12:48 PM.

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            • #7
              I'm not a massive fan but ken is just so definately the lesser of two evils here (three if wilkins counts) he's been critisised for a fair few thing obviously, and is far too shady for most people's tastes but he has done a reasonable amount well, better than boris could do anyway (public transport springs to mind).
              Boris may win, but if he does it will be down to his celebrity status, not his political one.
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              • #8
                Originally posted by spidol View Post
                I'm not a massive fan but ken is just so definately the lesser of two evils here (three if wilkins counts) he's been critisised for a fair few thing obviously, and is far too shady for most people's tastes but he has done a reasonable amount well, better than boris could do anyway (public transport springs to mind).
                Boris may win, but if he does it will be down to his celebrity status, not his political one.
                edit: blast!
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Wolfie Gilmore View Post
                  I am genuinely afraid, no kidding. It started out seeming like a joke...but he's been ahead in the polls a few times.

                  But, hopefully not in the end. I think Ken did a good job of rallying the voters.
                  Just goes to show what I know.

                  I've been away too long Wolfie, when did this decay creep into my fair city?

                  Damn.

                  You realise you have to run next time now don't you?

                  Assuming there's anything left of London by then, and that the trained ape without the training hasn't driven everyone out.

                  Bugger.

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                  • #10
                    On the plus side, hopefully this will inspire loads of excellent satire.

                    And for future ref, from what I've read, only the lesser gods will accept goats as their sacrifice. Goats are pretty cheap. Go with cows next time.

                    What's the mayor of London supposed to do anyway?
                    "When people call people nerds, mostly what they are saying is, 'You like stuff', which is just not a good insult at all, like 'You are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness'."
                    -John Green

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                    • #11
                      I just heard on the news that this Boris character has won! I can't believe that London now has a Tory mayor! Sorry to all the Londoners out there who did not vote for this Boris guy!

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                      • #12
                        How can people vote for a man who said that we should re-colonise Africa, that black people were 'piganinnies', that South East Asia is full of cannibals, a man who opposed Kyoto, who voted AGAINST the national minimum wage, who got sacked from The Times for inventing quotations supposedly said by his OWN FAMILY, who opposes the hunting ban, who voted for Section 28, that Portsmouth, home of the Royal Navy and a ton of harmless pensioners, is full of smack-heads? It beggars belief. I'm just waiting for him to do something really stupid and illogical, like ban L-reg cars from driving on B-Roads, or prohibit the use of the question mark in public. Another bad sign being, this makes a Tory victory in the General Election look ten times more likely now.

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                        • #13
                          Well hopefully at least Gordon Brown won't call an election now for as long as is possibly possible.

                          My girlfriend and I were doing some moving of furniture today, and the guy helping us move it was saying he voted for boris basically to see what happens. To which I say - no f-cking complaining when Boris gets a handbasket and takes us all to hell! Ok, that was violent. But...dude. Do you run your moving van into another car 'just to see what happens?' No. You don't. Exactly.
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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dev View Post
                            Just goes to show what I know.

                            I've been away too long Wolfie, when did this decay creep into my fair city?

                            Damn.

                            You realise you have to run next time now don't you?

                            Assuming there's anything left of London by then, and that the trained ape without the training hasn't driven everyone out.

                            Bugger.

                            I will prepare my ascension for four years time. Big giant snakehood, here I come.


                            -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --

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                            • #15
                              I actually... agree with a couple of things on that laundry list, but I won't get into which ones. Still, he sounds a bit Jayne-like ("well, that one's a little horrific") as a person, so sorry you'll have to put up with him.
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                              • #16
                                Is it really that bad?

                                I mean, what could happen, anyway?

                                He has advisors and political ambition, so I think he's not likely to knowingly adopt policies that would alienate voters.

                                Sure, he could make some bad calls, but still, I think this isn't likely to be so disastrous.

                                P.S.: if the above is unconvincing, I would recommend sacrificing bulls instead.

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                                • #17
                                  Well, a lot of things I put there people could disagree with, based on the varying political eye (e.g. minimum wage, Kyoto etc.), but I still stand by what I say about him having some very medieval views about the world, e.g. calling the residents of Papua New Guinea 'cannibals'. I looked through a lot of old newspaper articles, his voting record, briefly skipped through Hansard online etc. to investigate a bit, and this muddies things even more, as for instance he has also done a lot of admirable things in my opinion - he opposed Mugabe, for instance, opposed the trade tariffs the EU put up against Asian countries. I can't support a politician who I consider to be bigoted and a ridiculous public figure, but he is perhaps not as fanatically evil as some bloggers have made out.

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                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by EvilVampire View Post
                                    I mean, what could happen, anyway?
                                    Buffy: Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen!

                                    Xander: Whadaya mean? Nothing's gonna happen.

                                    Willow: Not until some dummy says, 'as long as nothing bad happens.'

                                    Buffy: It's the ultimate jinx!

                                    Willow: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?


                                    nah...hopefully it'll be fine. Though I can't believe he's going to be the mayor for the olympics!
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                                    • #19
                                      P.S.: if the above is unconvincing, I would recommend sacrificing bulls instead.
                                      The above is unconvincing, so am off to the countryside to get some bulls.

                                      Actually, it's not so much that I think he'll do something terrible to London, because, yes, I'm sure he has some clever advisers, and London is a tough bitca. It's the fact that people VOTED For him that shocks me. The fact that so many did it because they thought it was funny and wanted to see what would happen. Or people who did it because they don't like bendy buses. Dude. I despair.


                                      -- Robofrakkinawesome BANNER BY FRANCY --

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                                      • #20
                                        I suppose I should try and view all this in a positive light.

                                        Boris can't actually be as much of an arse as he appears, and London has survived everything that history has thrown at it so far. Guess I'll just have to wait it out and hope that the assembly and his advisory team stop him making any truly stupid decisions in the meantime. It's just...

                                        I don't live in London anymore, I moved away for love and that is not a decision I regret, even for a moment. I just miss the city so much, there is a feeling I get when I'm in London that I don't experience anywhere else, it's like a vibration within my being that let's me know I belong. I can read London when I'm there, I know it's moods, I can hear it's soul. It's home, and it always will be. I know that if I had been there in the run-up to this election that I wouldn't have scoffed at the idea of Boris winning, instead, like Wolfie I would have been afraid. Out here I feel so powerless.

                                        I miss the bright lights and I miss the endless noise. I miss the diversity too, there's like one black family, one Indian family, one Thai family and two Chinese families living in the town where I am now, and this saddens me. I miss the interactions with people of differing origins, the strength that comes of it. Racism seems fairly well the norm here, with people fearing that which is different.

                                        I know I'll be back in London one day, even though with house prices there being so high it seems impossible right now, I still know that I'll find a way, until then I'll just have to sit here and hope that Boris doesn't screw up to badly.

                                        That was the thing with Ken, like him or loathe him, you know he truly loves London and will always do what he thinks is right for the city. This of course doesn't mean he doesn't make mistakes, but he does what he believes to be correct for London, even to the point where he makes decisions irregardless of their popularity and gets himself voted out. Another part of the reason I think he got voted out was of course the backlash against Labour, which is frankly stupid, as he got himself kicked out of the party back in 2000 by running for Mayor against the party line. Ken genuinely, truly cares about London. Somehow I doubt we'll see that from Boris.

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