Favourite Quotes

[The Ginatron]

Whats quotes do everyone like? Btvs is full of funny one liners and loads of deep stuff, so post your favourites here.
I have loads of favs but here's a few:

Willow: What happened?
Xander: What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay.
Willow: What?
Xander: You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it?
Andrew Wells: [wistfully] Captain Archer...
Xander: Come on, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.
Buffy: What if you just start attracting male demons?
Dawn: Clem always liked you.

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
Cordelia: What's the difference?
Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.
Xander: Well, I hate brie.
Cordelia: I know. It smells like Giles' cat

so go ahead post the quotes you love!

[LaJaula]

Possibly my favorite exchange ever is in "Graduation Day, Part Two".

CORDELIA: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
OZ: We attack the Mayor with humus.
CORDELIA: I stand corrected.
OZ: Just trying to keep things in perspective.
CORDELIA: Thank you. My point however is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. Besides, it's Buffy's, and she's slay gal-- you know, Little Miss Likes-to-fight. So..
XANDER: I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.
...
OZ: Well, Angel, you hung with him the most. Is there something that he's afraid of?
ANGEL: Well, he's not crazy about germs.
CORDELIA: Of course, that's it. We attack him with germs!
BUFFY: Great! We'll corner him and then you can sneeze on him.
CORDELIA: No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and...and... Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says "Ebola" on it and, um, chase him. With the box-
XANDER: I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive.
OZ: He'll never see it coming.

[holypotatoes]

Man I have so many quotes that I just adore but my all time favorite quotes are at the end of Enemies, Who Are You, and Listening to Fear. There's a bunch of really funny ones that are the reason I watch some of the episodes though.

Enemies

Buffy: Why Faith? What's in it for you?
Faith: What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm a slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone but what do I hear everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave I do the good little girl routine and who does everybody thank. Buffy.
Buffy: That's not my fault.
Faith: Everyone always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy but did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?
Angel: I know I didn't.
Faith: You get the watcher. You get the mom you get the little scoobie gang. What do I get? Jack squat! This was supposed to be my town!
Buffy: Faith, listen to me.
Faith: Why, so you can impart some special Buffy wisdom, that it? Do you think you're better than me? Do you? Say it. You think you're better than me.
Buffy: I am. Always have been.

Anne

Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just wanna be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.

When She Was Bad All of us Buffy fans have gotten good use out of this one.

Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A "bitca"?

Who Are You? I think all us girls want to say this to a guy and just walk away.

Buffy: 'Cause I could do anything I want, and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness? I mean, I could be rich. I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong.

Listening to Fear This one's one of my faves!!!

Joyce: I wish that someone had bothered to tell me that there would be tennis being played. I just didn't know. Those eyes! Those eyes; they're like gasoline puddles! Tell me. Tell me because I need to know, why, why are you staring at me like that?

[Nina]

Too many beautiful and funny quotes. I can't remember all the funny and brilliant quotes but the quotes I love the most are:

Angelus in Passion:
Passion.
It lies in all of us.
Sleeping...waiting...
And though unwanted...
...unbidden... it will stir...
...open its jaws, and howl.
It speaks to us... guides us...
Passion rules us all.
And we obey.
What other choice do we have?

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.
If we could live without passion,
maybe we'd know some kind of peace.
But we would be hollow.
Empty rooms, shuttered and dank...
Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

and

Buffy in Faith, Hope and Trick:
I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him.

[motterman]

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.

[The Ginatron]

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.

I love that one! spike has some great lines.

Xander: That's my radio.
Spike: And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil.
Anya: So what kind of place are you looking for?
Spike: I don't know. Maybe a crypt. Someplace, you know, dark and dank. But not as dark and dank as this.
Anya: It's pretty depressing, isn't it?
Spike: I've known corpses with a fresher smell. In fact, I've been one.

[basakbangel]

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.

Too many beautiful and funny quotes. I can't remember all the funny and brilliant quotes but the quotes I love the most are:

Angelus in Passion:
Passion.
It lies in all of us.
Sleeping...waiting...
And though unwanted...
...unbidden... it will stir...
...open its jaws, and howl.
It speaks to us... guides us...
Passion rules us all.
And we obey.
What other choice do we have?

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.
If we could live without passion,
maybe we'd know some kind of peace.
But we would be hollow.
Empty rooms, shuttered and dank...
Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

and

Buffy in Faith, Hope and Trick:
I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him.

I agree with you guys and also, I LOVE this quote so much that I was using every minute

Buffy: I told you. I'm a Vampire Slayer.

Joyce: (haughtily) Well, I just don't accept that!

Buffy: (steps closer) Open your eyes, Mom. What do you think has been
going on for the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences. How
many times have you washed blood out of my clothing, and you still
haven't figured it out?

Joyce: (raises her voice angrily) Well, it stops now!

Buffy: (raises her voice also) No, it doesn't stop! It *never* stops!
Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely
it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or
gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the
world... again.

Joyce: No. This is insane. (takes Buffy by the shoulders) Buffy, you
need help.

Buffy: (throws off her mom's arms) I'm *not* crazy! What I need is for
you to chill. I *have* to go!

Joyce: (shakes her head) No. I am not letting you out of this house.

Buffy: You can't stop me.

[NxD_Slayerette]

"Thank God, we're Hot Chicks, with super-powers!"
Buffy, End of Days

"So, do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep our hormones in check?"
Xander, Lovers walk

"You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me."
Glory, Lessons

'Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where you are and then watch as she kills you. Can't any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?'

Spike, This Year's Girl

"its like you've slaughtered an abercrombie and fitch catalogue"
D'hoffryn, Selfless

"Aww poor Watcher did your life flash before your eyes? Cuppa Tea, Cuppa Tea, Almost Got Shagged, Cuppa tea"
spike, bargaining part 1

"I see your grghhh and i raise you a nrghhhh!"
xander, bad eggs

"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo." - Buffybot

[buffyholic]

There is one quote in "Choices" that I love:

Xander: Kerouac. He?s my teacher. The open road, my school.
Buffy: Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?
Xander: Go ahead, mock me.
Oz: I think she just did

[Ahm Shere]

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.

I that quote. I just love Spikes quotes.

I also like:

Anne

''I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. And you are?''

And I like this exchange in Faith, Hope and Trick...

Joyce: So you're a slayer too. Isn't that interesting? Do you like it?
Faith: I love it.
Buffy: Mom...
Joyce: Just a sec, honey. Buffy never talks that way. Why do you love it?
Faith: When I'm fighting, the whole world goes away and I know only one thing. I'm gonna win and they're gonna lose. I like that feeling.
Buffy: Well sure, it's better than the dead feeling you get if they win and you lose.
Faith: I don't let that kind of negative thinking in.
Joyce: Right, right. That could get you hurt. Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes.



Oh oh and in Something Blue

Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about invatations. 'Do you want to be William the Bloody' of just 'Spike'? 'Cos either way it's gonna look weird.

[DoughnutHole]

from Beauty And The Beasts:

Giles: Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: Just a thought: poker: not your game.



from The Replacement:

Buffy: (talking about the xanders) They're... kinda the same now.
Giles: Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.



from Chosen:

Spike: So... where's tall, dark and forehead?
(plus his excellent drawing of Angel on the punching bag... classic)



from Out Of My Mind:

Buffy: Spike... I just saw you taste your own nose blood, you know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.



from The Zeppo:

Xander: ...You Need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?
Oz: An Exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.


from School Hard:

Buffy: I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?
Willow: Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still, like, four hundred dates with four hundred different... Why do they call it a mace?
(and then the way Willow pets the mace... perfect!)



from What's My Line pt. 1:

Xander: Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really! In fact, Im so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking Principal school. I wanna walk in your shoes. Not your actually shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny inthe small sense, or course. Okay, I'm done now.




and lastly, because I can't think of any more at the moment:

From Restless:

Buffy: "But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes. I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea for all I care. Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting, all groin, no brain. Three billion of ya passing around the same worn-out urge. Men... with your sales."





(also, check out the quote in my signature... another one of my favs)

[The Ginatron]

I really like this scene, its kinda harsh for Xan but really well written.


Xander: (to the boy) Hey. (the boy looks up) Leave. (the boy leaves)
Thanks. (they sit)

Buffy: Well?

Xander: Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for
students to gather and... Oh, God! (takes a breath) Buffy, I want you to
go to the dance with me. You and me, on a date.


Buffy: (speechless) I-I don't know what to say.

Xander: Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I
like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences...
We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time.
But I want more. I wanna dance with you.

Buffy: Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow...

Xander: Well, Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is, she's
playing it pretty close to the chest. (laughs nervously)

Buffy: I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have.

Xander: Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the
point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't.

Buffy: (looks down a moment, then back up) I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm
sorry. I-I just don't think of you that way.


Xander: Well, try. I'll wait. (smiles weakly)

Buffy: Xander...


Xander: Nah. Forget it. (gets up) I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's
gotta be undead to make time with you.

Buffy: That's really harsh.


Xander: Look, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny!
Considering all the practice I've had, huh?

Buffy: Xander, I'm sorry, I don't know...


Xander: You know what? Let's just not.

[allthings]

haha i love this thread, here's a few of mine:

Spike: Oh. So that's all. You've just come to pump me for information.
Buffy: What else would I wanna pump you for? I really just said that, didn't I?


Tara: Things fall apart. They fall apart so hard.
Willow: Tara?
Tara: You can't ever... put them back the way they were.
Willow: Are you okay?
Tara: I'm sorry, it's just... You know, it takes time. You can't just... have coffee and expect-
Willow: I know.
Tara: There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and... can we just skip it? Can-can you just be kissing me now?


Buffy: I'll go.
Cordelia: You'll go? Great! I'll drive. Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters! With really different hair.


Anya: Shh. No questions. No talking. I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about you and us and our brief but unforgettable time together. I mean, it's-why else would I be here? I mean, it's not like I'm snooping around looking for proof that you're some sort of wacked out serial killer. I don't know why I said that. Forget I said that. It's craziness talking. It's just nerves. Nerves. Nerves and-and horniness. Oh, just shut up, William, and take me. Take me now.

I have many more but I'll post 'em later

[holypotatoes]

OMG I'm watching Beer Bad right now, 'cause I happen to actually like it and they said one of my favorite quotes. I'm shocked that I didn't remember it when I was doing my fave quotes on here the other day but now I just need to put it on here because it's just too damn good. Here we go...

Beer Bad

Buffy: I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of... badness.
Willow: You didn't. Not with Parker again.
Buffy: No. With four really smart guys.
Willow: Four? Oh... ow. Oh, Buffy, are you OK? Do you want to talk about it?
Buffy: I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came... beer.
Willow: And then group sex?
Buffy: Pffft... gutterface. No! Just lots and lots of beer.

It's the "then group sex?" that makes me burst out in laughter, every. single. time! Oh and another two that I love and forgot to mention are in Graduation Day part 2.

Grad day 2

Buffy: Drink. Drink me.

and

Buffy: Fire bad, tree pretty.

[allthings]

Beer Bad

Buffy: I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of... badness.
Willow: You didn't. Not with Parker again.
Buffy: No. With four really smart guys.
Willow: Four? Oh... ow. Oh, Buffy, are you OK? Do you want to talk about it?
Buffy: I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came... beer.
Willow: And then group sex?
Buffy: Pffft... gutterface. No! Just lots and lots of beer.

aww i love that quote too holypotatoes, and i'm also a beer bad fan
i often use the 'I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of... badness' when i have a hangover lol

[The Ginatron]

Willow: 'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it.

That line always makes me giggle!


Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species. And I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well, gosh. I wonder why not? It couldn't have anything to do with your sales pitch.
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which

Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?
Willow: Oh my God! Would you just... stop talking? Just... shut your mouth! Please!
Anya: What am I doing?
Willow: How can you act like that?
Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? Is that the helpful thing to do?
Xander: Guys-
Willow: The way you behave-
Anya: Nobody will tell me.
Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!
Anya (crying): But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why. (She puts her hand over her face, crying.)
Willow (after a long pause): We don't know... how it works... why.

Omg these next quotes are so sooooo sweet! (btw massive willow xander fan)

Willow: Okay. (puts up her fists) Let's go. Come on, you and me. Come on.
Xander(stares at her, then sighs, walking over to kiss her on the forehead): You know I can't take you.
Willow: Damn straight.


Xander: Hey, black-eyed girl...Whatcha doin'?

Xander: You're not the only one with powers, you know. You may be a hopped up uber-witch, but this carpenter can dry-wall you into the next century.
Willow: I'm not joking, Xander. Get out of my way. Now.

Xander: Yeah, I get that. It's just ? where else am I going to go? You've been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end - where else would I want to be?
Willow: Is this the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me?
Xander: Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but it seemed kinda cartoony.

Xander: I'm not joking. I know you're in pain. I can't imagine the pain you're in. I know you're about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid and hey, still want to hang. You're Willow.
Willow: Don't call me th-
Xander: First day of kindergarten you cried 'cause you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion but the thing is, yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. You wanna kill the world, you start with me. I've earned that.

[stormwreath]

I've got lots of favourite Buffy quotes, but the one that I always come back to is the shortest of all. One word, two letters. From 'Becoming 2'.

"Me."

[electroGwen]

Out of the ones that haven't already been posted, lets see.

Joyce: I'd rip it in half and stick in bed with me!
LISTENING TO FEAR

Thats great, line and actress, great


GILES: It appears to be paranormal in origin. WILLOW: How can you tell? GILES: Well, it's so shiny.
NO PLACE LIKE HOME

GILES: I used to be a highly respected Watcher. Now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily. CHOSEN

[holypotatoes]

Fine. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WHORES!!!!!

Thought I'd just start off with that one mostly because I wanted to. I've got some more lines that I love as well as a new one that I never noticed until today. I find it very funny but who know's if other people will.

The new one from today was from No Place Like Home which is why I probably never noticed it. I hate that episode but here it is.

Dawn: What are you doing?
Buffy: My boyfriend.

I don't know why I find it so amusing but I guess I just do. It's just so blatant and something you wouldn't expect Buffy to say so when it does come out of her mouth you can't help but laugh.

My next fave one may just be the way it's said but I find this one funny as well.

Pangs
Spike: A bear. You made a bear.
Buffy: I didn't mean to.
Spike: Undo it. Undo it.


Him
Anya: Well, you're gonna have to do better than that. I'd kill for him.
Willow: You'd kill for a chocolate bar.


Tabula Rasa
Buffy: I feel like a Joan.


Bring on the Night

Giles: When I learned what was happening, I-I, um, stole them.
Anya: And you blew the Council up. See, this is what happens when you're all stuffy and repressed, you overreact.


And last but not least (or at least until I can remember some more) one of my all time favorite Buffy speeches ever! It's uplifting and I was highly excited for what was to come then I was filled with disappointment but still, great speech.


Buffy: I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Well, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now, 'cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them and cut out their hearts one by one until the First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on earth more powerful than evil, and that's us. Any questions?

[electroGwen]

My kingdom for a good opening line, something with the word whores in it maybe.

...James and his little sock ((pause)) big sock,damn

It is from an interview, but an interview from season 6 dvd.

XANDER: So, Buff, how'd the slaying go last night
BUFF: Xander
XANDER: I mean.. how'd the laying go? No i don't mean that either
BUFF: It went fine, thank you

The delivery was what made it all funny