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Buffy keeps me sane...time to Walk Through The Fire

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  • Buffy keeps me sane...time to Walk Through The Fire

    BUFFY
    I touch the fire and it freezes me
    I look into it and it's black
    Why can't I feel?
    My skin should crack and peel
    I want the fire back

    Now, through the smoke she calls to me
    To make my way across the flame
    To save the day or maybe melt away
    I guess it's all the same

    So, I will walk through the fire
    Cause where else can I turn?
    I will walk through the fire
    And let it - -

    SPIKE
    The torch I bear is scorching me
    And Buffy's laughing I've no doubt
    I hope she fries
    I'm free if that bitch dies!
    I better help her out...

    LOTD
    Cause she is drawn to the fire

    LOTD: Some people never learn / SPIKE: She will never learn

    SPIKE AND LOTD
    And she will walk through the fire
    And let it - -

    GILES
    Will this do a thing to change her?
    Am I leaving Dawn in danger?
    Is my slayer too far gone to care?

    XANDER
    What if Buffy can't defeat it?

    ANYA
    Beady Eyes is right
    We're needed!
    ...Or we could just sit around and glare

    ANYA, GILES, TARA, WILLOW, AND XANDER
    We'll see it through
    It's what we're always here to do
    So, we will walk through the fire...

    (Buffy and Tara's following verses overlap.)
    BUFFY
    So one by one, they turn from me
    I guess my friends can't face the cold
    But why I froze, not one among them knows
    And never can be told

    TARA
    What can't we face
    If we're together?

    (These three parts are sung mostly in unison.)
    PART I
    ANYA
    She came from the grave much graver

    SPIKE
    First, he'll kill her, then I'll save her

    TARA
    Everything is turning out so dark

    SPIKE
    No, I'll save her, then I'll kill her

    WILLOW
    I think this line is mostly filler

    GILES
    What's it going to take to strike a spark?

    PART II
    BUFFY
    Going through the motions
    Walking through the part
    These endless days are finally ending in a blaze

    PART III


    LOTD
    So one by one, they come to me
    The distant redness as their guide
    That single flame
    Ain't what they had in mind
    It's what they have inside She will come to me

    BUFFY, ANYA, GILES, SPIKE, TARA, WILLOW, AND XANDER
    And we are caught in the fire
    At the point of no return
    So we will walk through the fire
    And let it
    Burn
    Let it burn
    Let it burn
    Let it burn!

    So this time it could be fatal, which is really freaking hard to wrap your mind around. I have walking hypoxia which comes with COVID, but I never got COVID. My everything works... lung, heart and blood - but my blood is not getting oxygenated. I'm on 24 hour oxygen and a walloping dose of prednisone, and trying to find a pulmonologist but the hospital doctor doesn't take my insurance. I have some doctors working to get me in since that's the only way to get an appointment now.

    So that's weird. I mean really seriously freakin weird. Am I the next person with medical crisis and the gofundme? Is this how that feels? Someone asked if I wanted one today, which was a shock. I don't need one but that gave me a pause. There are all these weird questions in my head as this day has settled in - first day back from the hospital. I'm on a mega dose of prednisone, and I was all over the board with self pity and fear.

    But then I thought of Buffy - specifically Walk Through The Fire. Because this is when I decide who I am. So I realize that this has been going on for months. I'm no worse off than I was a week ago. What will happen is gonna happen but I can decide to walk through the fire, or get dragged by things outside my control. It steadies me, gives me impetus to put on my big girl panties and deal. And that just feels so much stronger.

    So, what's your read of the song?
    And/or when has Buffy kept you sane?
    I know people here and elsewhere who have survived so many things, or learned to enjoy things, or just changed because of Buffy. Share if you feel like sharing.





    Can we agree that the writers made everyone do and say everything with a thought to getting good ratings and being renewed. This includes everything we love as well as everything we hate.

  • #2
    Hi bespangeled,

    l am majorly concerned about you. Please take good care of yourself. I am glad to hear Buffy helps you to get the courage and strength to fight back.

    I am also seriously angry at your health system. So, you do have a health insurance but still can't get treatment? What the heck is going on in your country?

    Please keep us posted about how you are!

    Hugs flow

    Banner by Brendan

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    • #3
      Originally posted by flow View Post
      Hi bespangeled,

      l am majorly concerned about you. Please take good care of yourself. I am glad to hear Buffy helps you to get the courage and strength to fight back.

      I am also seriously angry at your health system. So, you do have a health insurance but still can't get treatment? What the heck is going on in your country?

      Please keep us posted about how you are!

      Hugs flow
      I can get health care of a sort - it's just that we've been too stupid to clamp down and pulmonlogists are backed up for months. Okay, I guess that defines crap health care.

      Yeah, it is insane.

      Thanks, flow...
      Can we agree that the writers made everyone do and say everything with a thought to getting good ratings and being renewed. This includes everything we love as well as everything we hate.

      Comment


      • #4
        I hope you'll be OK, bespangeled -- that you'll walk through the fire and come out unscathed. Thinking of you.
        https://www.youtube.com/c/DoubleDutchess

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time bespangeled and I can see why this song has jumped out at you during it. I think it's a great song full of two sides of a coin. Being in the thick of danger and troubles can feel like being burned/consumed. But having fire is about determination and fight. It's fantastic that Buffy is helping you through and helping give you resolve, strengthening you.

          I haven't had a similar experience with the show whilst difficulties unfold. But there have been a handful of very negative experiences I've had which I didn't realise I hadn't processed the impact of and accepted as being as traumatic as they were. But seeing Buffy and other characters going through similar events and picking themselves back up, pushing on and continuing to fight, did make facing events and coming to terms with them easier. Coming to understand myself better, and the ripples events have had decades on, but still, being stronger for it. So I do understand feeling the impact of the show in a somewhat similar way.

          I hope you have some positive news and can see someone soon.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time, I hope really everything works out bespangeled

            Comment


            • #7
              Tests, medicines, still no pulmonologist. But feeling less panicked....sorry about the overwhelmed. Thank you all.
              Can we agree that the writers made everyone do and say everything with a thought to getting good ratings and being renewed. This includes everything we love as well as everything we hate.

              Comment


              • #8
                bespangeled, that’s awful. Are you in the US? What insurance do you have? Can you go out-of-state if needs be or are you stuck in an HMO?

                I had a friend who suffered from it - and he found out that it was caused by sleep apnea. Once he got a machine, things improved immeasurably. He went a long time before they finally figured it out. I hope that you can see a specialist soon.

                When I feel depressed or anxious (which is all the time these days), I do think of Buffy and her determination to not let anything stop her despite all the stuff blocking her way or weighing her spirit down. I think of her line “Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?” Which is kinda the story of her life.

                And I know it’s easy to say and hard to actually put into practice. But it does help me to keep it in mind when everything goes wrong and bad news happens. Then i just want to give up and hide under the bed and say no more.

                But watching the show makes me feel better and more inspired to face my fears and be prepared to accept what comes no matter how unexpected. As Hamlet says, if it be now, ‘tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be now now, yet it will come - the readiness is all.

                Comment


                • bespangeled
                  bespangeled commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Yeah, another apnea test is in the works. It would be great if that's what it is.
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