What's my line part III: a post-season 8 ficlet

[Wolfie Gilmore]

I was in a prophecy when I was a teenager. I was in a whole bunch. Til I was in my late twenties, in fact, I was the hot topic in all the best ancient tomes.
Some of the prophecies came true, but not in a way that stuck. One prophecy said I died. But it was only for, like, a minute.

Some of them were just the ravings of some crazy witch lady in the Nth century, who’d snacked on too many bright-red forest mushrooms over the years.

One of them turned out to be about someone else entirely (there was this whole thing with some fairies and someone pretending to be me... Rona never did get the chance to tell me the full story).

One prophecy came true completely, but I didn’t find out that it existed until after it came true, so, really, what use is that? It was only a few years after we successfully chased all the demons out of our dimension that Willow unearthed the scrolls of Bazerath, which foretold that...we would successfully chase all the demons out of our dimension. Well, if I’d know that years ago, maybe I would’ve been a bit more chilled, ya know?

But the one prediction that came true, AND I knew about it years before it did, wasn’t mystical. It was made by a computer at my high school – the result of a form I’d filled in, back when I didn’t believe I had any kind of future beyond blood and danger and demon goo. Turns out the career counsellor’s automated system was more accurate than the combined wisdom of all the mystics of all the ages.

And so, it came to pass, that I did, indeed, become a police officer.

“Huh?” I hear you say. But that’s life. Little steps, one by one, that lead you to crazy places you never expected to go.

Like Baltimore. Like this patrol car. Like this uniform. Not a fashion choice I would’ve made in the past. But when it came down to it, there was a job that needed doing, and another kind of war.

So now, if you ask me, what’s my line, it’s, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say may be taken down in evidence against you.”
Or possibly, “Who ate the last jelly?”