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Thread: Fixing The Factors by ImmortallySpuffy starting 9th of August 2019

  1. #21
    Slayer Priceless's Avatar
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    I quite enjoyed it. I liked the premise, but I did feel it did get stale in places and I found myself skip reading a few chapters. I became obsessed with hair colour descriptors and that certainly made me smile.

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    I became obsessed with hair colour descriptors...
    Hmm...not sure it needed "descriptors" in the plural. Seems to me the single term "bottle blonde" covered most eventualities (pun of "covered" not intended - but I quite like it. )

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    Quote Originally Posted by TriBel View Post
    Hmm...not sure it needed "descriptors" in the plural. Seems to me the single term "bottle blonde" covered most eventualities (pun of "covered" not intended - but I quite like it. )
    I wonder why ImortallySpuffy got so stuck on hair colour, and why she didn't notice how often she used it. It's par for the course for most Spuffy fics 'the blonde vampire' 'the blonde slayer', as if there were another slayer and vampire But why use it for Xander? That seems a little obsessive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Priceless View Post
    I wonder why ImortallySpuffy got so stuck on hair colour, and why she didn't notice how often she used it. It's par for the course for most Spuffy fics 'the blonde vampire' 'the blonde slayer', as if there were another slayer and vampire But why use it for Xander? That seems a little obsessive.
    I don't know - it irritated me from the start. It sounds as though I'd have enjoyed the plot but, from the offset, the hair references made it feel (in your words) "stale".

    It might not be her fault. I'll be honest, I've found a wonderful fic writer and I've been spoiled. Bear with me because (obviously given my latest obsession) it's not BtVS...and Lucifer does have "sweaty hair".

    "He regards her. The sky. Mostly the sky. Through the branches of the pine tree serving as their shelter. Twinkling stars speckle the space overhead, like someone shot a glitter gun at an infinite black canvas.
    Lucifer, she realizes with a start. Lucifer the Lightbringer. Lucifer the Morning Star.
    Lucifer shot the gun.
    She pulls her fingers through his sweaty hair, watching him watch his creation.
    "Those are yours, aren't they?" she says, suddenly breathless. "You did that."
    His dark gaze drifts back to her. "R …," he rasps weakly, trailing into silence. He licks his lips, swallowing, as she dips her head closer to his mouth to hear him. "Rho … hey … mhehs … dha."
    The words are to sound as rainbows are to color. Even when he's barely croaking them.
    Angel.
    And for once, she doesn't need a translator. Not after seeing the spark in his eyes. A glint of the knife he carved his infamy with: pride.
    Rho hey mhehs dha.
    Yes, Lucifer was saying. All the lights are mine.
    She sits with him in the quiet for another too-long stretch. The wind ceased, at some point, and the frequency of fleeing animals shrank from a flood to a stream to a trickle. Beyond the distant roar of the blaze, beyond the occasional crack and crash of a lagging critter hotfooting through the brush, all
    purveyors of nighttime ambience seem to have taken the night off. No crickets sing. No owls hoot. No leaves or pine needles rustle.
    The night is sepulchral silence".

    The use of alliteration, of onomatopoeia, the symbolism, the imagery, the mythic proportions...I want that for Spuffy. I'm probably not going to get the latter...it's easy to exploit the vastness of time and space when your main character's been hanging round since the middle of creation week. But...can't I have the other? I'm not driven to read by plot. I don't want to turn pages...I want pages to flow into each other. I want words to work for the greater good of language. Here, even the most mundane line "She pulls her fingers through his sweaty hair" links now with then and imbues the moment with gravitas. I'm just not "feeling the feels" with constant references to hair colour....and, because they came so early, I fell at the first hurdle.

    Interestingly, the writer wrote BtVS/Angel before Lucifer. However, although her favourite character's Cordy, I suspect she's Bangel.
    Last edited by TriBel; 11-08-19 at 10:11 AM.

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    They say if you can't find what you want in fanfic, write it yourself

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    Well I'm true to form again after having been up to speed on a couple of fics recently and now I'm waaaay behind (just finished chapter 4). I don't care about the hair descriptions, even after they've been pointed out, but perhaps because I haven't read enough chapters yet, ha. A lot of writers have something they overuse and are repetitious with and I genuinely think they read over them and just don't notice it.

    I really liked the slightly different responses to the first repeated day from both Buffy and Spike as they experienced the repeats with some uncertainty. I've enjoyed this first handful of chapters and have been able to 'hear' the characters which is always a plus. The voicing/writing when Giles snarked about answering the door himself was great. It's so long ago that I read this story I really don't remember the details of it but from these first chapters it feels like Spike is going to be presented as very easily just able to choose a different path for himself. So I'm expecting him to be a bit idealised, but it's early days in the read for me.

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    I really like the idea of this fic but I'm only five more chapters on, about to start chapter 10, and I'm having to grit my teeth a little at the characterisations of Buffy and Spike. It's interesting I remembered enjoying this story a lot more when I first read it than I am now. It's doing some of the things that have become real nails down a blackboard to me. Spike is just stated as being 'different' which generally means little to no effort will go into his changing and he's pretty idealised and woobified on top. I rolled my eyes at his shy demeanour around Giles, it's just way over the top in suddenly making him this lovable nice guy. Then there's Buffy giggling away about serious issues like the claim, being really critical and uncaring about people and realising Spike can be so much better than all her friends/exes. Which is something of course he swears to himself he will be as he realises she's a frightened scarred girl inside and they've not been as great to her as they should have been, but of course he won't hurt her. Oh, and she's tearing up and nearly weeping all the damn time, including when she was feeling shame at realising he was lonely and could feel finer emotions. Thank goodness his calming arms/voice/claim are there to keep easing her troubled overly emotional mind.

    Some of the voicing at first was great and now it feels like it has gone way off into these weird warped versions of the characters. I'd love it if the spell was explained to have affected their personalities too, but I'm not hopeful it will be. There's a note of humour laced in that is stopping the constant dusting of Angel being pure character bashing (although Buffy's disregard is hard to take), but it is leaning towards bashing so this will start to grate on my nerves too if they go there any more than this repeated joke. Riley seems to be fair game too. It actually feels like they could have gone for a more humour laced version and made a lot of these characterisation shifts part of the spell and it have been a comedy element, I just don't think that is where it is going. Ugh, I don't know, I'm a bit bored by it, potentially very irritated by it and there's soooooo much to go.

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    You might have convinced me to not start reading this ...

    Okay, I admit I was reading Lucifer fanfiction instead og joining you all on the group read. But your post made me feel not too bad about skipping this one.


    flow
    Last edited by flow; 18-08-19 at 09:14 PM.
    ................................ Banner by buffylover

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    I read about 10 Chapters and then gave up. I really didn't enjoy the Angel and Riley bashing and "perfect Spike" is also not my favourite thing. Basically, everything that Stoney said.

    The blonde/brunette thing was a bit annoying but it's a pretty common thing in fanfic, I've gotten used to it.

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  15. #30
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    The blonde/brunette thing IS really common in fanfics but this story definitely has it at a whole new level.


    I like who I am when Im with him. I like who we are together.

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