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Thread: Adieu, A Dew, I Do by Lizerrrbeathan starting 20th of April

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    Default Adieu, A Dew, I Do by Lizerrrbeathan starting 20th of April

    The discussion for our second fanfic story in April will start on Friday, 20th of April 2018. We will be discussing:

    Adieu, A Dew, I Do by Lizerrrbeathan

    Summary: AU/ Seven years post ‘Chosen’ Willem is sequestered hidden deep in Newcastle upon the Tyne, UK. As is bound to happen--given the magnet of hot souls and mutual minds--he is found.

    The story`s word count is about 45k and you can find it here:

    http://web.archive.org/web/200508260...fics/Adieu.htm.

    You are welcome to join in the discussion. You can either read the story before the discussion starts or read along while we are discussing it.

    Happy discussion !

    flow

    ETA: If you are Lizerrrbeathan or a writer of fanfiction and you have found your way to this thread, please be so kind as to read this
    http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/sh...re-you-proceed!
    before you proceed. Thank you for your consideration.
    Last edited by flow; 26-10-18 at 09:30 AM.
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    People can definitely read and join once the discussion starts but obviously as we're only starting it on the assumption that people will have read it already there will be spoilers galore in the thread.

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    Can I just ask If English is the authors first langue, because I'm finding some of this a tad weird

    Blessed, blessed by a customers odd or not odd really more like even, an even steven trade and barter for the Bard. A young man and his quest for the first edition copy of the original script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When the young man had asked and Willem responded “Monti Python ik den Holie Grailen (Bok) ???”

    The young man had kanip fitted and weak knee gellied himself against the counter and Willem eased him into an overstuffed easy chair clustered in a setting by the front window for readers. He chuckled and chided himself at the same time. Provoking the poor young lad into his first hard on brought on by the holy chalice--the quest, the end in sight.
    Err, what?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silver1 View Post
    Can I just ask If English is the authors first langue, because I'm finding some of this a tad weird



    Err, what?
    LOL! That's the reason I like it! I think she has an idiosyncratic way of writing. I wondered at first whether some of the words were a North-East dialect (Pricey?) - then I wondered whether Willem was borrowing from Lewis Carroll. I think words like kanip and gellied might be urban slang. I wanted to know whether some of the "mistakes" in the text meant she needed a good editor or whether she was deliberately channeling Joyce (James), Russell Hoban and e.e.cummings! It gets easier!
    Last edited by TriBel; 08-04-18 at 10:19 AM.

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    No thats just lazy/bad writing imo. In the hey days of Buffyverse fiction on Live journal she would have been torn a new one for that.

    This is what a beta/proof reader is for. If you can't use the tools of your craft correctly don't bother.
    Last edited by Silver1; 08-04-18 at 10:21 AM.

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    No thats just lazy/bad writing imo.
    . I wouldn't be too sure - read on! My biggest annoyance was punctuation but Dickinson overdid the dash so I'm not complaining!

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    No I'm afraid the weird stuff threw me right out. I stand by what I said earlier I'm afraid. Imo It's just bad writing and for me not worth the time of day. Sorry.

    People tolerance for such things do vary though, so have at it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silver1 View Post
    No I'm afraid the weird stuff threw me right out. I stand by what I said earlier I'm afraid. Imo It's just bad writing and for me not worth the time of day. Sorry.

    People tolerance for such things do vary though, so have at it.
    I'm really surprised you feel like this. I thought the style was original and interesting. There were plot points that made me shake my head and think 'what nonsense', but the actual language was really intriguing and drew me in. I think she's trying something different, an experiment maybe. I thought it was a lovely little story (apart from one glaring plot point) but I do respect your views. There are a lot of fics I couldn't get past the first chapter, and others loved them, so we all respond to different things

    - - - Updated - - -

    For me, to make a better judgement, whether is is style or poor writing, I need to read more of her work. Does anyone have anymore links to her stuff?

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    I mean why is she spelling William as Willem?
    Last edited by Silver1; 08-04-18 at 11:38 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silver1 View Post
    I mean why is she spelling William like that?
    I thought it was a comment on Spike not thinking of himself as Spike or William, but someone different again. The amulet made him look vaguely like himself, and to fit with the visual image, he gave himself a name that was vaguely him too. But maybe I'm being too kind, and maybe it is bad writing?

    There is one bit of terrible writing in this fic, so it's not impossible that the whole thing is just bad writing

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    Well they're barking up the wrong tree there imo as that spelling mistake (because that what I take it to be until shown otherwise immediately puts me off. If you can't be arsed to sort that out why should I bother reading it.

    Sorry to keep ragging on this 'author' but as I said years back the famdom used to be hot on this type of thing, as writing is a craft like many others.

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    Willem isn't a spelling mistake and is actually directly commented on as a German variant of the name. I think it was used for the reasons Priceless suggested.

    The start of the fic is Spike deliberately playing with a Monty Python nerd's love of a specific version of something that he is searching for so I think it is supposed to be showing them discussing it in terms they understand as fans of the show and of specific 'rare' related texts. It doesn't stay that way through it all, it's a specific conversation. I don't think English is the writer's first language but I don't know for sure. I'd agree it was probably a questionable way to start the fic as it does make it a bit indecipherable, but it isn't how it stays throughout. Some of the other language quirks I think are supposed to be Spike picking up local dialect. Lizerrrbeathan's a pretty well known author I thought, who's produced quite a few popular stories that I thought were fairly well known.

    There are others of hers still accessible online Pricey, I found a few links for TriBel that I put in the general Spuffy reading group thread - here (and a further one in a second post further down. I still haven't managed to find any of the others elsewhere).

    The writing style can certainly be something that is raised as a point for discussion when we get to talking about the story.
    Last edited by Stoney; 08-04-18 at 11:57 AM.

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    I've sped read ahead, and this is not for me. I find it to be pretty sub par sadly.

    But as I said before peoples millage may vary.

    I don't think English is the writer's first language
    Yeah, I was thinking that although I used to know a few authors who didn't have English as their first language on LJ and they just checked their work before publishing. As I said that's a what a good beta is for.

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    Thanks Stoney. I shall read Life After Wartime asap

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    Quote Originally Posted by Priceless View Post
    Thanks Stoney. I shall read Life After Wartime asap
    That's one I have but haven't read yet. Too many fics, too little time.

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    I've sped read ahead, and this is not for me.
    We never had a fic before, on which we all agreed. Sometimes people just drop out of reading. There were stories, I didn`t even start to read, because it was not my cup of tea. Hope, you like the next one better :-)

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    LOL! This is Russell Hoban. He's American and definitely a native English speaker: “The worl is ful of things waiting to happen. Thats the meat and boan of it right there. You myt think you can jus go here and there doing nothing. Happening nothing. You cant tho you bleeding cant. You put your self on any road and some thing wil show its self to you. Wanting to happen. Waiting to happen. You myt say, 'I dont want to know.' But 1ce its showt its self to you you wil know wont you. You cant not know no mor." Don't start me on Anthony Burgess!

    Sorry you didn't enjoy it Silver but, I appreciate your views. As you say, it takes all sorts. There are some errors that are genuine errors (I think) but Priceless is right inasmuch as it's experimental (Pricey - I've been thinking about your spoiler!). In fact, I got to the stage where I felt I needed to reread Genette on levels of narration and McHale on the intrusive author - then decided "Nah...too much like work!". I'll save further comments for later.

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    Sorry you didn't enjoy it Silver but, I appreciate your views. As you say, it takes all sorts. There are some errors that are genuine errors (I think) but Priceless is right inasmuch as it's experimental (Pricey - I've been thinking about your spoiler!). In fact, I got to the stage where I felt I needed to reread Genette on levels of narration and McHale on the intrusive author - then decided "Nah...too much like work!". I'll save further comments for later.
    I desperately want to talk about that 'spoiler', it was just such amazing timing And could be used to prove that Spike believing the PTB/God is against him. Or are we meant to believe TPB/God had nothing to do with
    Spoiler:
    Cordy actually waking up from that coma. Although on the show we are told PTB bought her back to put Angel back on the right path

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    I've read Adieu, A Dew, I Do before. I recall it was tough to get into at first and that the writing was deliberately obtuse. Which is interesting. I agree with TriBel that it's more idiosyncratic than anything else.

    If I recall, her other fics were very much like this - grammatical sense was always secondary to sensory impact. I think her fragmentary style intentionally strips the sentences in order to slow down or even stop the action. Looking at her two-parter Snow Angels and Spike by Snowlight, I see the same run-on sentences, isolated dependent clauses, missing punctuation and lack of subject-verb arrangement in favor of a "stream of consciousness" rambling that makes thematic and linguistic connections instead of moving the plot along.

    The problem with this style is that it can lean towards melodrama or even worse, incoherence if overused. It's both pretentious and pulp fiction-y at the same time in the wrong hands and every now and then she dips into too much eye-rolling tortured text for my taste. Still, I remember liking a lot of it. I could be confusing it with one of her other fics. Looking forward to reading it again.
    Last edited by American Aurora; 09-04-18 at 12:34 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by American Aurora View Post
    If I recall, her other fics were very much like this - grammatical sense was always secondary to sensory impact. I think her fragmentary style intentionally strips the sentences in order to slow down or even stop the action. Looking at her two-parter Snow Angels and Spike by Snowlight, I see the same run-on sentences, isolated dependent clauses, missing punctuation and lack of subject-verb arrangement in favor of a "stream of consciousness" rambling that makes thematic and linguistic connections instead of moving the plot along.

    The problem with this style is that it can lean towards melodrama or even worse, incoherence if overused. It's both pretentious and pulp fiction-y at the same time in the wrong hands and every now and then she dips into too much eye-rolling tortured text for my taste. Still, I remember liking a lot of it. I could be confusing it with one of her other fics. Looking forward to reading it again.
    I think these are fair comments about the writer's style and yes, I remember the 'snow' fics having a similar feel, although it's ages since I read those.

    Quote Originally Posted by Priceless View Post
    I desperately want to talk about that 'spoiler', it was just such amazing timing And could be used to prove that Spike believing the PTB/God is against him. Or are we meant to believe TPB/God had nothing to do with
    Spoiler:
    Cordy actually waking up from that coma. Although on the show we are told PTB bought her back to put Angel back on the right path
    Well it won't be long before we get into discussing the story and everyone will have read/reread it by then.

    It seems the writing style and your spoiler event can certainly be specific points for consideration that are emerging.

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