Inspired by discussion on the Angel Rewatch thread. I want to poll on what people have a bigger problem with or *support more*- Buffy's behavior in Sanctuary or Xander's behavior in Revelations. I wrote that I think Buffy's behavior in Sanctuary is VERY similar to Xander's behavior in Revelations. I wrote:

IMO when I argued that Buffy was experiencing what it's like to be a shrill voice of justice without protagonist privilege, I was really likening Buffy to Xander in Revelations. Buffy and Xander were both pretty correct to be furious and mistrusting of both perp (Angel in Revelations, Faith in Sanctuary) and cuddler/kisser/shielder (Buffy in Revelations, Angel in Sanctuary). They are reacting like themselves- people who've been grievously wronged and their pain has been minimized and they're deeply concerned about everyone's safety because they've seen this movie before.

However, the tone is angry and noxious in both cases. In both cases, the outrage cuts against the story to come (Faith REALLY felt sorry this time, Buffy never screwed Angel's soul out again). And in both cases, the smaller-character-objector is cutting into the redemptive, tear-jerky drama that the main-character-protaganists are going through
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I was thinking about it today. They are similar outbursts and I'm pretty cool with both. But I had trouble deciding which was the most justified or the most unfairly OTT. I've been going around in circles like:

Plus for Xander: Buffy had been lying to the Scoobies for a month in S3. That merits some yelling. Angel may have been insensitive and I think it would have been underhanded if Angel took Faith in without a word to the Scoobies and I think Angel was on the road to doing that. However, Xander was dealing with Lying!Buffy- not Buffy in Sanctuary.

Plus for Buffy: Buffy sought to save Faith's life in Sanctuary. Buffy's remedy was just jail. In S3, Xander would have killed Angel with Faith if he wasn't distracted by Injured!Giles.

Any staking of Angel would have been totally unsanctioned by pretty much every Scooby who may have been cross with Buffy for lying to them and concerned about Angel but didn't want to stake him against Buffy's wishes. Putting Faith in prison was supported by every Scoobie and every Fang Gang member, even if Angel looked uncomfortable that this was the solution.

Plus for Xander: I generally feel that vampires deserve much less clemency than teenage girls, crimes aside.

Plus for Buffy: Angel, by Revelations, was documented as safe. Everyone tracked Angelu's awfuless to a lack of a soul but Angel got one in Revelations. Boom, pretty clear.

Meanwhile accepting that Faith was on an honest road to redemption requires trusting that Faith went through her own process to genuinely change- much more difficult for Sanctuary!Buffy to believe.

Plus for Xander: By yelling at Buffy, he was exercising his right as a Concerned Member of the Scoobies. If Buffy wants the Scoobies to help her and be around her and in so doing, take the chance that the Scoobies will be targets for any Big Bad who wants to get to Buffy emotionally, Xander has the right to object in the strongest terms signs that Buffy is being careless with everyone's safety in the name of Twu Wub.

Plus for Buffy: Buffy was MUCH more of a victim of Faith than Xander was a victim of Angel. Xander was sucking the oxygen from bigger victims of Angel- Giles and Willow. Buffy wasn't sucking any oxygen- she's by far and away the alive person that Faith wronged the most.