And part and parcel of this is maintaining a certain attitude towards women - in these terms, women are supposed to be prizes and sex-toys - something men can deride and push around as proof that they are the Alpha male in their relationships. And we see how Spike adopts this common societal attitude - his swagger, his snark, his sneer, his sexual asides - all intended to demonstrate how macho he is despite his obvious Omega status that he still feels within.
And yet, Spike is still driven by his own need for romantic love and companionship - he despises the weakness within while still feeling the loneliness and desire for a female partner - and this results in the love/hate relationship with his partners that leads to questions of misogyny. He feels that's he beneath women (and men) in reality - which drives Spike to act out as if he's actually the superior Big Bad who doesn't need anyone and stands alone.
And it's the tension in the character as to which will win out at any given moment that made Spike rise above the other faceless vampires and develop a wide female (and male) fan following. Will Spike puff out his chest and act like a macho ass this episode - or will he curl into a ball and drunkenly cry only to get burned as the sun comes up? In many ways, Fool for Love should not have been a surprise because the nerd who just wants women to love him and men to respect him and assuage his feelings of worthlessness was always scrabbling around in Spike's psyche, scratching to get out.
So we get both the bullying of Harmony and the groveling to his sire Drusilla, the sneering disdain for women right next to the sobbing supplicant to a woman on a pedestal. Always elements of William that are common to many bullied men - but magnified through a soulless demon to extreme psychotic levels of anger and devotion.
When Spike screams out about bitches tormenting him in Crush and how he'd like to chop them into tiny pieces, he sounds an awful lot like Caleb - except for the fact that his outburst was immediately followed by freeing Buffy. From misogynist to willing slave in a second. And this is played out again in the infamous AR - Spike changes in a quicksilver manner with Buffy from apologetic to hopeful to monstrous fury to horror over his own behavior in less than a few minutes.
And in this lies the paradox of much misogyny - yes, there are men who outright hate women and believe them to be inferior. But I don't believe that Spike falls into this category. To be honest, I'm not even sure that the Trio fall into this category - they obviously see Buffy as a worthy opponent. I think there are degrees of misogyny from 1-10 with Caleb at the extreme 11. He sees women as obscene and worthless from their birth - monsters born to destroy men due to their very existence - and this is endemic in many cultures. And it's something I don't believe is true even for Warren.
But then there's the sliding scale of misogyny - and for those on the lower side, a great deal of anger towards women has to do with feelings of anger toward oneself as a male. Warren's anger towards women has a lot to do with his own feelings of inadequacy - he creates robot women and sex slaves to love him because he basically feels that no woman could ever love him otherwise. And he gathers supporters and adherents around him only to belittle them and make himself feel more like a man. Does this excuse his behavior? No, of course not. But it's not black and white, either. And it doesn't excuse Spike's supposed misogyny either - except for the fact that Spike is a demon and soulless.