Favourite Quotes [Archive]

The Ginatron

20-02-08, 08:48 PM

Whats quotes do everyone like? Btvs is full of funny one liners and loads of deep stuff, so post your favourites here.
I have loads of favs but here's a few:

Willow: What happened?
Xander: What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay.
Willow: What?
Xander: You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it?
Andrew Wells: [wistfully] Captain Archer...
Xander: Come on, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.
Buffy: What if you just start attracting male demons?
Dawn: Clem always liked you.

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
Cordelia: What's the difference?
Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.
Xander: Well, I hate brie.
Cordelia: I know. It smells like Giles' cat

so go ahead post the quotes you love! :)

LaJaula

20-02-08, 09:01 PM

Possibly my favorite exchange ever is in "Graduation Day, Part Two".

CORDELIA: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
OZ: We attack the Mayor with humus.
CORDELIA: I stand corrected.
OZ: Just trying to keep things in perspective.
CORDELIA: Thank you. My point however is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. Besides, it's Buffy's, and she's slay gal-- you know, Little Miss Likes-to-fight. So..
XANDER: I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.
...
OZ: Well, Angel, you hung with him the most. Is there something that he's afraid of?
ANGEL: Well, he's not crazy about germs.
CORDELIA: Of course, that's it. We attack him with germs!
BUFFY: Great! We'll corner him and then you can sneeze on him.
CORDELIA: No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and...and... Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says "Ebola" on it and, um, chase him. With the box-
XANDER: I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive.
OZ: He'll never see it coming.

holypotatoes

20-02-08, 11:33 PM

Man I have so many quotes that I just adore but my all time favorite quotes are at the end of Enemies, Who Are You, and Listening to Fear. There's a bunch of really funny ones that are the reason I watch some of the episodes though.

Enemies

Buffy: Why Faith? What's in it for you?
Faith: What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm a slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone but what do I hear everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave I do the good little girl routine and who does everybody thank. Buffy.
Buffy: That's not my fault.
Faith: Everyone always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy but did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?
Angel: I know I didn't.
Faith: You get the watcher. You get the mom you get the little scoobie gang. What do I get? Jack squat! This was supposed to be my town!
Buffy: Faith, listen to me.
Faith: Why, so you can impart some special Buffy wisdom, that it? Do you think you're better than me? Do you? Say it. You think you're better than me.
Buffy: I am. Always have been.

Anne

Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just wanna be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.

When She Was Bad All of us Buffy fans have gotten good use out of this one.

Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A "bitca"?

Who Are You? I think all us girls want to say this to a guy and just walk away. :D

Buffy: 'Cause I could do anything I want, and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness? I mean, I could be rich. I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong.

Listening to Fear :lol: This one's one of my faves!!!

Joyce: I wish that someone had bothered to tell me that there would be tennis being played. I just didn't know. Those eyes! Those eyes; they're like gasoline puddles! Tell me. Tell me because I need to know, why, why are you staring at me like that?

Nina

20-02-08, 11:45 PM

Too many beautiful and funny quotes. I can't remember all the funny and brilliant quotes but the quotes I love the most are:

Angelus in Passion:
Passion.
It lies in all of us.
Sleeping...waiting...
And though unwanted...
...unbidden... it will stir...
...open its jaws, and howl.
It speaks to us... guides us...
Passion rules us all.
And we obey.
What other choice do we have?

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.
If we could live without passion,
maybe we'd know some kind of peace.
But we would be hollow.
Empty rooms, shuttered and dank...
Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

and

Buffy in Faith, Hope and Trick:
I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him.

motterman

21-02-08, 03:25 AM

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.

The Ginatron

21-02-08, 09:10 PM

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.
I love that one! spike has some great lines.

Xander: That's my radio.
Spike: And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil.
Anya: So what kind of place are you looking for?
Spike: I don't know. Maybe a crypt. Someplace, you know, dark and dank. But not as dark and dank as this.
Anya: It's pretty depressing, isn't it?
Spike: I've known corpses with a fresher smell. In fact, I've been one.

basakbangel

21-02-08, 09:36 PM

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.

Too many beautiful and funny quotes. I can't remember all the funny and brilliant quotes but the quotes I love the most are:

Angelus in Passion:
Passion.
It lies in all of us.
Sleeping...waiting...
And though unwanted...
...unbidden... it will stir...
...open its jaws, and howl.
It speaks to us... guides us...
Passion rules us all.
And we obey.
What other choice do we have?

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.
If we could live without passion,
maybe we'd know some kind of peace.
But we would be hollow.
Empty rooms, shuttered and dank...
Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

and

Buffy in Faith, Hope and Trick:
I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him.

I agree with you guys and also, I LOVE:heart: this quote so much that I was using every minute :D

Buffy: I told you. I'm a Vampire Slayer.

Joyce: (haughtily) Well, I just don't accept that!

Buffy: (steps closer) Open your eyes, Mom. What do you think has been
going on for the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences. How
many times have you washed blood out of my clothing, and you still
haven't figured it out?

Joyce: (raises her voice angrily) Well, it stops now!

Buffy: (raises her voice also) No, it doesn't stop! It *never* stops!
Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely
it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or
gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the
world... again.

Joyce: No. This is insane. (takes Buffy by the shoulders) Buffy, you
need help.

Buffy: (throws off her mom's arms) I'm *not* crazy! What I need is for
you to chill. I *have* to go!

Joyce: (shakes her head) No. I am not letting you out of this house.

Buffy: You can't stop me.

NxD_Slayerette

21-02-08, 10:17 PM

"Thank God, we're Hot Chicks, with super-powers!"
Buffy, End of Days

"So, do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep our hormones in check?"
Xander, Lovers walk

"You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me."
Glory, Lessons

'Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where you are and then watch as she kills you. Can't any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?'

Spike, This Year's Girl

"its like you've slaughtered an abercrombie and fitch catalogue"
D'hoffryn, Selfless

"Aww poor Watcher did your life flash before your eyes? Cuppa Tea, Cuppa Tea, Almost Got Shagged, Cuppa tea"
spike, bargaining part 1

"I see your grghhh and i raise you a nrghhhh!"
xander, bad eggs

"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo." - Buffybot

buffyholic

22-02-08, 01:40 PM

There is one quote in "Choices" that I love:

Xander: Kerouac. He´s my teacher. The open road, my school.
Buffy: Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?
Xander: Go ahead, mock me.
Oz: I think she just did

Ahm Shere

22-02-08, 02:13 PM

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.

(Spike counts the words on his fingers)

SPIKE: Out... for a walk... bitch.

:lol: I :heart: that quote. I just love Spikes quotes.

I also like:

Anne

''I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. And you are?''

And I like this exchange in Faith, Hope and Trick...

Joyce: So you're a slayer too. Isn't that interesting? Do you like it?
Faith: I love it.
Buffy: Mom...
Joyce: Just a sec, honey. Buffy never talks that way. Why do you love it?
Faith: When I'm fighting, the whole world goes away and I know only one thing. I'm gonna win and they're gonna lose. I like that feeling.
Buffy: Well sure, it's better than the dead feeling you get if they win and you lose.
Faith: I don't let that kind of negative thinking in.
Joyce: Right, right. That could get you hurt. Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes.

:lol:

Oh oh and in Something Blue

Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about invatations. 'Do you want to be William the Bloody' of just 'Spike'? 'Cos either way it's gonna look weird.

DoughnutHole

23-02-08, 01:32 AM

from Beauty And The Beasts:

Giles: Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: Just a thought: poker: not your game.

from The Replacement:

Buffy: (talking about the xanders) They're... kinda the same now.
Giles: Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.

from Chosen:

Spike: So... where's tall, dark and forehead?
(plus his excellent drawing of Angel on the punching bag... classic)

from Out Of My Mind:

Buffy: Spike... I just saw you taste your own nose blood, you know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.

from The Zeppo:

Xander: ...You Need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?
Oz: An Exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.

from School Hard:

Buffy: I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?
Willow: Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still, like, four hundred dates with four hundred different... Why do they call it a mace?
(and then the way Willow pets the mace... perfect!)

from What's My Line pt. 1:

Xander: Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really! In fact, Im so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking Principal school. I wanna walk in your shoes. Not your actually shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny inthe small sense, or course. Okay, I'm done now.

and lastly, because I can't think of any more at the moment:

From Restless:

Buffy: "But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes. I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea for all I care. Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting, all groin, no brain. Three billion of ya passing around the same worn-out urge. Men... with your sales."

(also, check out the quote in my signature... another one of my favs)

The Ginatron

24-02-08, 08:44 PM

I really like this scene, its kinda harsh for Xan but really well written.

Xander: (to the boy) Hey. (the boy looks up) Leave. (the boy leaves)
Thanks. (they sit)

Buffy: Well?

Xander: Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for
students to gather and... Oh, God! (takes a breath) Buffy, I want you to
go to the dance with me. You and me, on a date.

Buffy: (speechless) I-I don't know what to say.

Xander: Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I
like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences...
We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time.
But I want more. I wanna dance with you.

Buffy: Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow...

Xander: Well, Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is, she's
playing it pretty close to the chest. (laughs nervously)

Buffy: I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have.

Xander: Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the
point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't.

Buffy: (looks down a moment, then back up) I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm
sorry. I-I just don't think of you that way.

Xander: Well, try. I'll wait. (smiles weakly)

Buffy: Xander...

Xander: Nah. Forget it. (gets up) I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's
gotta be undead to make time with you.

Buffy: That's really harsh.

Xander: Look, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny!
Considering all the practice I've had, huh?

Buffy: Xander, I'm sorry, I don't know...

Xander: You know what? Let's just not.

allthings

24-02-08, 09:18 PM

haha i love this thread, here's a few of mine:

Spike: Oh. So that's all. You've just come to pump me for information.
Buffy: What else would I wanna pump you for? I really just said that, didn't I? :lol:

Tara: Things fall apart. They fall apart so hard.
Willow: Tara?
Tara: You can't ever... put them back the way they were.
Willow: Are you okay?
Tara: I'm sorry, it's just... You know, it takes time. You can't just... have coffee and expect-
Willow: I know.
Tara: There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and... can we just skip it? Can-can you just be kissing me now? :heart:

Buffy: I'll go.
Cordelia: You'll go? Great! I'll drive. Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters! With really different hair. :roll:

Anya: Shh. No questions. No talking. I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about you and us and our brief but unforgettable time together. I mean, it's—why else would I be here? I mean, it's not like I'm snooping around looking for proof that you're some sort of wacked out serial killer. I don't know why I said that. Forget I said that. It's craziness talking. It's just nerves. Nerves. Nerves and-and horniness. Oh, just shut up, William, and take me. Take me now. :rotf:

I have many more but I'll post 'em later

holypotatoes

24-02-08, 09:26 PM

OMG I'm watching Beer Bad right now, 'cause I happen to actually like it and they said one of my favorite quotes. I'm shocked that I didn't remember it when I was doing my fave quotes on here the other day but now I just need to put it on here because it's just too damn good. Here we go...

Beer Bad

Buffy: I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of... badness.
Willow: You didn't. Not with Parker again.
Buffy: No. With four really smart guys.
Willow: Four? Oh... ow. Oh, Buffy, are you OK? Do you want to talk about it?
Buffy: I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came... beer.
Willow: And then group sex?
Buffy: Pffft... gutterface. No! Just lots and lots of beer.

It's the "then group sex?" that makes me burst out in laughter, every. single. time! :roll: Oh and another two that I love and forgot to mention are in Graduation Day part 2.

Grad day 2

Buffy: Drink. Drink me.

and

Buffy: Fire bad, tree pretty.

allthings

24-02-08, 09:29 PM

Beer Bad

Buffy: I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of... badness.
Willow: You didn't. Not with Parker again.
Buffy: No. With four really smart guys.
Willow: Four? Oh... ow. Oh, Buffy, are you OK? Do you want to talk about it?
Buffy: I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came... beer.
Willow: And then group sex?
Buffy: Pffft... gutterface. No! Just lots and lots of beer.

aww i love that quote too holypotatoes, and i'm also a beer bad fan :drinkup:
i often use the 'I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of... badness' when i have a hangover lol

The Ginatron

28-02-08, 10:12 PM

Willow: 'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it.

That line always makes me giggle!

Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species. And I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well, gosh. I wonder why not? It couldn't have anything to do with your sales pitch.
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which

Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?
Willow: Oh my God! Would you just... stop talking? Just... shut your mouth! Please!
Anya: What am I doing?
Willow: How can you act like that?
Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? Is that the helpful thing to do?
Xander: Guys—
Willow: The way you behave—
Anya: Nobody will tell me.
Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!
Anya (crying): But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why. (She puts her hand over her face, crying.)
Willow (after a long pause): We don't know... how it works... why.

Omg these next quotes are so sooooo sweet! (btw massive willow :heart: xander fan)

Willow: Okay. (puts up her fists) Let's go. Come on, you and me. Come on.
Xander(stares at her, then sighs, walking over to kiss her on the forehead): You know I can't take you.
Willow: Damn straight.

Xander: Hey, black-eyed girl...Whatcha doin'?

Xander: You're not the only one with powers, you know. You may be a hopped up uber-witch, but this carpenter can dry-wall you into the next century.
Willow: I'm not joking, Xander. Get out of my way. Now.

Xander: Yeah, I get that. It's just – where else am I going to go? You've been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end - where else would I want to be?
Willow: Is this the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me?
Xander: Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but it seemed kinda cartoony.

Xander: I'm not joking. I know you're in pain. I can't imagine the pain you're in. I know you're about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid and hey, still want to hang. You're Willow.
Willow: Don't call me th-
Xander: First day of kindergarten you cried 'cause you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion but the thing is, yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. You wanna kill the world, you start with me. I've earned that.

stormwreath

29-02-08, 03:28 AM

I've got lots of favourite Buffy quotes, but the one that I always come back to is the shortest of all. One word, two letters. From 'Becoming 2'.

"Me."

electroGwen

29-02-08, 10:24 PM

Out of the ones that haven't already been posted, lets see.

Joyce: I'd rip it in half and stick in bed with me!
LISTENING TO FEAR

Thats great, line and actress, great

GILES: It appears to be paranormal in origin. WILLOW: How can you tell? GILES: Well, it's so shiny.
NO PLACE LIKE HOME

GILES: I used to be a highly respected Watcher. Now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily. CHOSEN

holypotatoes

04-03-08, 11:11 PM

Fine. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WHORES!!!!!

:lol: Thought I'd just start off with that one mostly because I wanted to. I've got some more lines that I love as well as a new one that I never noticed until today. I find it very funny but who know's if other people will. :p

The new one from today was from No Place Like Home which is why I probably never noticed it. I hate that episode but here it is.

Dawn: What are you doing?
Buffy: My boyfriend.

I don't know why I find it so amusing but I guess I just do. It's just so blatant and something you wouldn't expect Buffy to say so when it does come out of her mouth you can't help but laugh.

My next fave one may just be the way it's said but I find this one funny as well.

Pangs
Spike: A bear. You made a bear.
Buffy: I didn't mean to.
Spike: Undo it. Undo it. :roll:

Him
Anya: Well, you're gonna have to do better than that. I'd kill for him.
Willow: You'd kill for a chocolate bar.

Tabula Rasa
Buffy: I feel like a Joan.

Bring on the Night

Giles: When I learned what was happening, I-I, um, stole them.
Anya: And you blew the Council up. See, this is what happens when you're all stuffy and repressed, you overreact.

And last but not least (or at least until I can remember some more) one of my all time favorite Buffy speeches ever! It's uplifting and I was highly excited for what was to come then I was filled with disappointment but still, great speech.

Buffy: I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Well, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now, 'cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them and cut out their hearts one by one until the First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on earth more powerful than evil, and that's us. Any questions?

electroGwen

05-03-08, 01:46 AM

My kingdom for a good opening line, something with the word whores in it maybe.

...James and his little sock ((pause)) big sock,damn

It is from an interview, but an interview from season 6 dvd.

XANDER: So, Buff, how'd the slaying go last night
BUFF: Xander
XANDER: I mean.. how'd the laying go? No i don't mean that either
BUFF: It went fine, thank you

The delivery was what made it all funny

electroGwen

06-03-08, 04:55 AM

Were there whores? Give it time

Calender: Ok, the first thing were gonna do is Buffy
Xander: Did I fall alsleep already

Cordelia: I demand an explanation.
Xander: For what?
Cordelia: Wesley.
Xander: Uh - inbreeding?

Spike: Wow. I mean, *yeah*. I get why the demons all fall in line with you. You're like Tony Robbins. If he was a big scary . . Frankenstein looking-- (reconsiders) You're exactly like Tony Robbins.

Xander: Tara's your girlfriend!!??
Giles: Bloody hell!

Giles is funny

Giles: Oh, no, it's not. (moves to his desk) It's all finally making perfect sense and I'm not going to miss a moment of it.

ok thats more of a fav scene

Kendra: Thats me favorite shirt, thats me only shirt

Xander: Then Angel, in his non-key-guy capacity, can work with me.
Angel: What fun.
Xander: Hey! Key-guy is still talking.

Xander: How? What? How?
Giles: Three excellent questions.

Giles: I'm twice the man she is

Giles is a funny drunk

Spike: Get up, get out, get drunk, repeat as needed

Ethan: If you think of it karmically, this is really big for your soul, you know taking my place with the demon, giving so that other may live

Buffy: I'm gonna killl you. Will that blow the whole karma thing?

ally

07-03-08, 03:54 AM

Snyder: Those kids are up to something, I can smell it. It's like a 6th sense...
Giles: No, I blieve thats one of the 5.

Or the whole 'Randy Giles' rant from Spike in Tabula Rasa.

The Ginatron

07-03-08, 09:10 PM

Or the whole 'Randy Giles' rant from Spike in Tabula Rasa.

here you go :)

GILES: We'll all get our memory back, and it'll all be right as rain.
SPIKE: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. (everyone looking at him) You Englishmen are always so... (pauses) Bloody hell! (ticks off on his fingers) Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
GILES: (puts glasses on) Welcome to the nancy tribe.
SPIKE: You don't suppose you and I ... we're not related, are we?
ANYA: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.

Giles smiles at Anya with pleasure.

GILES: (to Spike) And you do inspire a, um ... (Spike walking out from behind the counter) particular feeling of ... familiarity and ... disappointment.

Spike walks up to Giles, scowling. They look at each other.

GILES: Older brother?
SPIKE: (scoffs) Father. (Giles looks outraged) Oh, god, how I must hate you.
GILES: What did I do?
SPIKE: There's always something, and what's with the trollop? (indicates Anya)
ANYA: Hey!
GILES: Her?
SPIKE: I saw you! Sleeping together.
GILES: Resting together.
ANYA: Look! (holds up her hand with the engagement ring) It's okay. We're engaged.
GILES: (smiling) Oh.
ANYA: It's a lovely ring.
SPIKE: Oh, great, a tarty stepmom who's half old Daddy's age.
ANYA: Tarty?!
GILES: Old? You little twerp, I'm young enough to still get carded.

...

GILES: I'm, uh, called Rupert Giles.
ANYA: (smiling fondly) Rupert.
SPIKE: Rupert! (giggles)
GILES: You're not too old to put across my knee, you know ... sonny. (Spike still laughing) Anyway, what did I call you?
SPIKE: Um...

Spike examines his clothing, finds a label on the inside of his suit jacket.

SPIKE: 'Made with care for Randy.' (looks at Giles angrily) Randy Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles,' or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason I hated you!
GILES: Randy's ... a family name, undoubtedly.

...

BUFFY: Any suggestions on how we're gonna get there?
SPIKE: Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic midlife-crisis transport. (puts arm around Giles's shoulder) Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis.

holypotatoes

08-03-08, 03:59 AM

Shpadoinkle!

Okay I'm now loving that line! I never noticed Xander saying that in The Gift before until now. Alright I have yet even more quotes that I remembered so here we go...

Killed By Death
Cordelia: Yeah and while she's in here she might want to get that thing looked at. That thing. You know the thing.

Weight of the World
Spike: Oh, I get it. That's very crafty. Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-change-o instantly forgets. And yours truly, being somewhat other than human ... stands immune.
Willow: So ... Ben and Glory ... are-are the same person?
Xander: Glory can turn into Ben, and Ben turns back into Glory.
Anya: And anyone who sees it instantly forgets.
Spike: Kewpie doll for the lady.
Giles: Excellent. Now. Do we suspect there may be some kind of connection between Ben and Glory? :roll:

Tough Love

Buffy: You want gold stars? You can have gold stars.

AND

Buffy: This is for real, Dawn.
Dawn: No, it's not. I'm not real, so why would my exciting graph of chores be real? Who cares if a key gets an education anyway?
Buffy: It's a chart. Not a graph. And you are real.
Dawn: Yeah? Those monks put grades K through eight in my head. Can't we just wait and see if they drop nine in there too?
Buffy: Damn it, Dawn. This is serious.
Dawn: Why? Why should I care about any of this?
Buffy: Because they'll take you away!
Dawn: Take me away? What do you mean?
Buffy: They'll take you away from me. That's what your principal told me when you weren't in the room. If I can't make you go to school, then I won't be found fit to be your legal guardian.
Dawn: Where would I go?
Buffy: I don't know. Dad maybe... or foster care... I, I didn't really want to ask.
Dawn: You could've told me that.
Buffy: I just did.

Fool For Love
Buffy: You're beneath me.

Intervention
Anya: Which is kind of thrown by the you-having-sex-with-Spike.
Buffy: The who-whatting-how-with-huh?
Anya: OK, that's denial. That usually comes before anger.
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike!
Anya: Anger.

ladyvisionary

09-03-08, 06:58 PM

BUFFY: I'm, uh... in a band. A-a rock band with Spike here.
SPIKE: Right. She plays the, the triangle -
BUFFY: - Drums.
SPIKE: Drums, yeah. She's, uh, hell on the old skins.

ANGELUS: Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends... No hope. Take all that away... and what's left?
BUFFY: Me.

"I'm Buffy - the vampire Slayer. And you are?"

Faith in Buffy's body: Why, yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you? (practicing) Buf-fy.
(scolding) You can't do that! It's wrong. (sensitive tone) You can't do that, because it's naughty. (sternly) Because it's wrong. (with empathy) Because it's wrong. (bad-ass tone) You can't do that! It's wrong! I'll kick your ass!

"Dawn listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will *always* love you. This is the work I have to do. Tell Giles... Tell Giles I figured it out. And... I'm okay. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now -- you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

"I'd like to test that theory."

BUFFY: I love you.
SPIKE: No, you don't. But thanks for saying it.

The Ginatron

13-03-08, 11:41 PM

SPIKE: He's strong, maybe one day he'll be a real boy.
-OMWF

Always makes me smile!

IdiotJed

14-03-08, 01:13 AM

My favorite and pretty much my quote for life:

Xander: ...and the fun just keeps on leaving!

ally

14-03-08, 04:47 AM

or Xander: Hurry, the suspense is killing Angel!

Heh.

The Ginatron

16-03-08, 11:00 PM

My favorite and pretty much my quote for life:

Xander: ...and the fun just keeps on leaving!

Agreed, that is pretty much how life goes.
Plus its a pretty cool quote.
Xander is my fav character :)

omri

17-03-08, 08:16 AM

So much... But one from the gift. Buffy and Giles. More like a scene...

BUFFY: Pretty simple math here. We stop Glory before she can start the ritual. We still have a couple of hours, right?
GILES: If my calculations are right. But Buffy-
BUFFY: I don't wanna hear it. (turns away)
GILES: I understand that-
BUFFY: (whirls back) No! No, you don't understand. We are not talking about this.
GILES: (jumps up from the table, yells) Yes, we bloody well are!

Beat. Everyone looks shocked by Giles' outburst.

GILES: (quieter) If Glory begins the ritual ... if we can't stop her...
BUFFY: Come on. Say it. We're bloody well talking about this. Tell me to kill my sister.
GILES: (whispers) She's not your sister.
BUFFY: (pause) No. She's not. She's more than that. She's me. The monks made her out of me. I hold her ... and I feel closer to her than ... (looks down, sighs) It's not just the memories they built. It's physical. Dawn ... is a part of me. The only part that I- (stops)
WILLOW: We'll solve this. We will. Don't have another coma, okay?

Buffy gives a small smile.

GILES: (quietly) If the ritual starts, then every living creature in this and every other dimension imaginable will suffer unbearable torment and death ... (looks up at Buffy) including Dawn.
BUFFY: Then the last thing she'll see is me protecting her.
GILES: (quietly) You'll fail. You'll die. We all will. (turns away from the table)
BUFFY: I'm sorry.

Sacred Knight

17-03-08, 08:44 AM

Beneath You:

Spike: I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak, thinking of you, holding myself, and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending? Angel—he should've warned me. He makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here, in me, all the time. The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve, and I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn.
Buffy: Your soul.
Spike: Bit worse for lack of use.
Buffy: You got your soul back. How?
Spike: It's what you wanted, right? It's what you wanted, right? And—and now everybody's in here, talking. Everything I did...everyone I— and him... and it... the other, the thing beneath—beneath you. It's here too. Everybody. They all just tell me go... go... to hell.
Buffy: Why? Why would you do that—
Spike: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev—to be a kind of man.
Spike: She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved. So everything's OK, right? Can—can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?

Buffy vs. Dracula:

Xander: Where is he?? Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?
Buffy: He's gone.
Xander: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!

Potential:

Dawn: What's up?
Xander: Aw, I'm just thinking about the girls. It's a harsh gig, being a potential. Just being picked out of a crowd, danger, destiny, plus if you act now, death.
Dawn: They can handle it.
Xander: Yeah. They're special, no doubt. The amazing thing is, not one of them will ever know, not even Buffy.
Dawn: Know what?
Xander: How much harder it is for the rest of us.
Dawn: No way. They've got—
Xander: Seven years, Dawn. Working with the slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful. A witch. A demon. Hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit, but come a full moon, he had a wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful. All of them. And I'm the guy who fixes the windows.
Dawn: Well, you had that sexy army training for a while, and—and the windows really did need fixing.
Xander: I saw what you did last night.
Dawn: Yeah, I—I guess I kinda lost my head when I thought I was the slayer.
Xander: You thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale 2003. And the minute you found out you weren't, you handed the crown to Amanda without a moment's pause. You gave her your power.
Dawn: The power wasn't mine.
Xander: They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.

buffyholic

17-03-08, 03:26 PM

I love this one by Giles, "No Place Like Home"

Did you see that? Customers, real live customers. They came in, and I gave them things, and they gave me money, and then they left. It´s brilliant!

skinless

17-03-08, 07:54 PM

I Like this one from Pangs,

Buffy: A bear!
Spike: You made a bear!
Buffy: I didn't mean to.
Spike: Undo it! Undo it!

tangent

17-03-08, 10:01 PM

I've always liked th quote I've half used in my sig.

From What's my Line pt 1:

Dalton: The Order of Taraka? I mean, isn't that overkill?
Spike: No. I think it's just enough kill.

skinless

18-03-08, 04:00 AM

Another Favorite quote which is actually true IMO is the one in my Signature:
"Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

Of course to see some of my other favorites just check in on my thread in the Misc. forum

holypotatoes

18-03-08, 04:43 AM

Ooh I have a couple more for ya! Okay the first two are from Lesson's which is one of the few season 7 episodes I actually like.

Lessons
Buffy: You're stuck?

AND

Xander: How are you?
Buffy: My sister's about to go to the same high school that tried to kill me for 3 years, I can't change districts, I can't afford private school, and I can't begin to prepare for what could possibly come out of there. So, peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.

I always love how she just ends it so nonchalantly by saying she's peachy with a side of keen. That makes me laugh every time.

CWDP
Buffy: Okay, this is beyond evil, this is insane troll logic.

Never Leave Me
Buffy: This trigger. How do we holster, safety, or I don't know, guns.

The "I don't know, guns" reminds me of the old SNL days where they would do the double talk. Adding things under their breath that you are barely able to hear but would always makes you laugh if you were the one to catch it. This was one of those moments. I'm always like, why would she say guns? It's just so random. :lol:

Spillow

22-03-08, 12:40 PM

GILES: Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead.

WILLOW: Oh my god, Buffy!
BUFFY: I know, they're gone. I guess we should chase them.
WILLOW: No, your hair! It's adorable!

FAITH: New watcher?
BUFFY & GILES: New watcher.
FAITH: Screw that!
BUFFY: Now why didn't I just say that?

BUFFY: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please". And afterwards I get a cookie!

bufbuf

22-03-08, 12:43 PM

Buffy: I may be dead but I'm still pretty which is more then I can an say for you."

and

'Got to hand it to you goldilocks - you do have bleeding tragic taste in men. I've got a cousin married to a regurgitating demon got better instincts than you.'
Spike
Goodbye Iowa

and

Spike: You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker; I follow my blood, which doesn't always rush in the direction of my brain. So I've made a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I tell you that I love you, it's not because I want you, or 'cause I can't have you, it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try... I've seen your strength, and your kindness, I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.

Touched

Cinderela

22-03-08, 07:37 PM

I can't even believe my all time favorite, *use it in my RL* constantly, quotes haven't already been listed!

The Wish, Doppelgangland & Two To Go

"Bored now."

"This is the part is less fun. When there isn't any screaming."

Chiidatbe

24-03-08, 12:42 AM

MS BARTON: "Willow, that's a tree ... Are there any nachos here, little tree?"
- Band Candy

ANYA: "Gimmie a beer."
BARTENDER: "I.D."
ANYA: "I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old, just give me a frickin' beer!"
BARTENDER: "I.D."
ANYA: "Gimmie a coke."
- Doppelgangland

WILLOW: "If we could talk to him-"
SPIKE : "You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick."
XANDER : "Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but some of that made sense."
- Pangs

BUFFY: "Will, you know how bad I feel about this. It's eating me up-- (To Anya.) 1/4 Cup of brandy and let it simmer-- (To Willow.) But even though it's hard, we have to end this."
- PANGS

BUFFY/FAITH: "And you haven't had a job since we blew up the school - which is valid, lifestyle wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker type, but... Oh, oh! When I had psychic power, I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. Do you want me to continue?"
GILES: "Actually, I beg you to stop."
BUFFY/FAITH: "What's a stevedore?"
- Who Are You?

^ I love how innocently Eliza says that line. xD

XANDER: "You and Willow go do the superpower thing, I'll stay behind and putt around the Batcave with crusty old Alfred here."
Giles: "Ah, no. I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job."
- THE YOKO FACTOR

WILLOW: "Oh, great. And then when you have your new "no arms" we can all say "Gee, it's a good thing we weren't there getting in the way of that!""
- THE YOKO FACTOR

XANDER: Uh-huh. But maybe that all changes when I'm doing sit-ups over at Fort Dix?
Giles almost chokes on his drink.
GILES: Fort Dix?
He bursts out in a wheezing laugh. The three of them stare at him
BUFFY: Are you drunk?
GILES: (happily) Yes. Quite a bit, actually.
- The Yoko Factor

BUFFY: (raising her voice) No! No, you said you wanted to go. So let's go! All of us. We'll walk into that cave with you two attacking me and the funny drunk drooling on my shoe! Hey! Hey, maybe that's the secret way of killing Adam?!
- The Yoko Factor

holypotatoes

07-04-08, 12:26 AM

OMG I just figured something out about one of Spikes lines/quotes that I never understood or never knew if the writer's made the line up themselves or stole it from somewhere and since this is the quotes thread I thought I'd share. Okay so you know when Spike say "Button, Button who's got the button?" that quote comes from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory! Am I the only person who didn't know this? :s

TheProdigal

15-04-08, 10:13 AM

Buffy:Chosen (looks at Angel) Because—OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat— (eyes go wide as she catches herself) or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done

ANGEL
Any thoughts on who might enjoy— (sighs, irritated) Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?

BUFFY
I'm not really thinking that far ahead. That's kind of the point.

ANGEL
(hands the amulet to Buffy) I'll go start working on the second front. Make sure I don't have to use it. (walks away)

BUFFY
(calls after him) Angel. (he turns to look at her) I do... sometimes think that far ahead.

i started watching my angel season 5 dvds and saw this quote and it made me laugh
angel : the girl in question
ANDREW (O.S.)
Dude, seriously, I thought of all those things, but turns out Buffy fell for The Immortal on her own, and—and now she's happy. That's it.

ANGEL
But she's not finished baking yet.
(ranting)
I gotta wait till she's done baking, you know, till she finds herself, 'cause that's the drill. Fine. I'm waitin' patiently, and meanwhile, The Immortal's eatin' cookie dough!
(sighs, sits)

ANDREW
Uh, Spike, is Angel crying?

Unbridled Brunette

16-04-08, 07:24 AM

My favorite funny line would probably have to be the Buffybot in "Intervention." Pretty much everything she said had me in stitches, but this one - "It wasn't one time. It was lots of times and lots of different ways. I could make sketches" - never seems to get old.

My favorite serious/dramatic line is Spike's during the final scene of "Beneath You." "Shame on you, Buffy. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would never - to be a kind of man."

Also - "Am I flesh to you? Feed on flesh. My flesh. Nothing else, not a spark. All right, flesh then. Solid through, get it hard, service the girl." I thought this one really summed up Buffy's behavior in season six and Spike's reaction to it. Very sad.

Revan

17-04-08, 01:33 AM

Unbridled Brunette

17-04-08, 11:31 PM

You've many of the best down but what about when Spike is in the lounge-room with Buffy's mom

Buffy's mom: Have we met?

Spike: Err.. You hit me with a axe one time. Remember Er. Get the hell away from my daughter?

Buffy's mom: oh... So do you live here in town?

:roll: I love every scene filmed between Spike and Joyce (great chemistry between the actors!), but that one has to take the cake. There was such incredible awkwardness; even Spike seemed shy. And poor Joyce trying to make small talk in the midst of all that confusion...priceless. :D

Retrograde

29-04-08, 02:41 PM

Wood: Buffy, what are you doing tonight?
Buffy: Preparing… for tomorrow’s counselling sessions!
Wood: No, really.
Buffy: Watching a reality show about a millionaire.

Maggie Walsh: We thought you were a myth.
Buffy: You were myth-taken.

Buffy: Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or… yodel.
The image here of Angel yodelling just cracks me up!

Giles: Uh, Ms. Calendar?
Jenny: Oh, no, please call me Jenny. Ms. Calendar's my father.

Willow: Buffy. And as my best friend you need to stop thinking about Parker. He's no good. There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis.
Xander: Nothing can defeat the penis!
The first time I heard this line, it was that clicheed moment when you're drinking a fizzy drink, I laughed so hard I spat out an entire mouthful and was doubled over laughing for about a year! It's the way he says it!

Also, does anyone remember a line, I can't remember the episode, when Angel walks into a room but slips into the doorframe and Buffy goes '...Stealthy.' That always makes me laugh but I haven't been able to find it again, I can't even remember the season! Do you reckon it was scripted or just one of those things that happened?

electroGwen

30-04-08, 02:35 AM

Graduation day part 1 my friend. Always makes me laugh too. I always watch that part twice to see how well Boreanaz does the slip. I think if he really slipped that that wasn't the first take. It could have been scripted, I've read a little of 1 or 2 scripts before and the writer can be very specific with certain scenes. I don't know, they always like to find places for little jokes so maybe it was scripted. But Boreanaz has accidentally fallen while filming before. I think it was James Marsters who said it in an interview. He was attached to wires or something, coz he can't walk through the door with out being invited so to make it look like he was straining they had the wires right, anyway he either slipped or the wires were pulling him to much, but he fell on his ass and the point of Marsters story was that he just got straight back up no complaints so they could keep filming.
Well I haven't heard anyone say it was scripted or not, and I'm still on the fence.

Xander: Hey, Xander, so no more fun and games, huh?

He said a little before it which adds to the joke but I can't remember it that well

cd48jj

02-05-08, 08:38 PM

Oldone

03-05-08, 04:48 PM

from as you were:
Willow: Just so you know. I am prepared to hate this woman anyway you want!
Buffy: Will, thanks but no. I dont want to get all, you know petty.
Willow: Thats the Beauty. you cant, I Can. Please let me carry the hate for both of us!

Innocence.
Cordy: You were too busy rushing off to die for your beloved buffy, You'd never die for me!
Xander: I might die [I]from[I] you ! does that get me points?

oldone

lee

05-05-08, 03:56 PM

[COLOR="SPIKE"] bollocks, blimey, shagging, knickers.... oh god, im english

buffyholic

06-05-08, 02:22 PM

Xander: Kerouac. He´s my teacher. The open road, my school.
Buffy: Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?
Xander: Go ahead, mock me.
Oz: I think she just did.

I laugh everytime I hear this quote. :roll:

Nikki

06-05-08, 03:38 PM

Moving this to the misc section as quotes aren't discussions.

We used to have a thread like this in here but I think it didn't get posted in for a while so was moved to the dead threads.

Retrograde

09-05-08, 06:02 PM

Ohhh I'm watching Fear, Itself, the best quote ever!

Buffy:Let's face it Will, your normal spells are 50/50.
Willow:Yeah, well.... so's your face!

:D

holypotatoes

09-05-08, 06:08 PM

Got another one, this time from Living Conditions.

Buffy: Um, he had a cloak on, glowy green eyes, and his skin had that, like, that super bad fake rub-on tan.
Giles: Translate?
Buffy: Um, orangey?

oblivious

10-05-08, 10:54 AM

Both of those are hilarious, especially the so's your face one

Xander: For I am xander king of the cretens, all lesser cretens bow before me.

I was watching the first season and I thought that qoute was quite funny

skinless

11-05-08, 05:25 AM

Xander:A *crazy* hellgod? And the fun just keeps on leaving

Willow: It's about the power and there's no one in the world with the power to stop me now.

GILES: I'd like to test that theory.

Buffy: Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them.

KNIGHTS: The key is the link. The link must be severed. Such is the will of God. The key is the link. The link must be severed. Such is the will of God.

Boltmaiden

22-05-08, 09:03 PM

Buffy: 'Cause I could do anything I want, and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness? I mean, I could be rich. I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong"

Holypotatoes: Thank you for putting this one down. It seriously is one of my all time favorites, the scene the episode.. The first tiem I watched it I thought it was the perfect mixture of sexy and funny. Just love it..also like how she calls him William the Bloody when she see him:heart: Oh Faith/Spike could have been sooo good. But it also really foreshadows how Spike can get all hot and bothered by Buffy heeheee.
I also love how it was immediately referenced when Faith see Spike in Season 7...just those few moments and my temperature was rising:D