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bespangled
01-03-19, 12:46 AM
Every Argument About “Buffy” On The Internet, From 1998 Until Now

Joss Whedon: Inventer Of Feminism Or Literal Hitler?

Joss Whedon invented feminism. Before Joss Whedon, every female character on television was crushed to death under the weight of her male co-stars’ heavier paychecks in the second-season finale.
Every female character Joss Whedon ever wrote was forcibly impregnated by a demon and brutally murdered, because Joss Whedon hates lesbians.
But Warren And The Trio Were –
EVERYONE GETS THAT WARREN AND THE TRIO REPRESENTED THE THREAT OF NON-SUPERNATURAL MISOGYNY, YOU DON’T GET CREDIT FOR PICKING UP ON THAT

Joss Whedon Doesn’t Understand What Bisexuality Is

Willow Identifies As Gay And You Are Robbing Her Of Self-Determination Because She Doesn’t Have A “Gold Star”
I’d Feel More Comfortable With Willow’s Lesbianism If It Weren’t Sometimes Equated With Drug Addiction, Literal Vampirism, And Megalomania
But She Was Clearly In Love With Oz
Who Are You To Say What Love Is
Dark Willow Was Pretty Hot, Though
Yeah, Dark Willow Was Super Hot
I’d Watch Dark Willow And Doppelgangland-Era Willow Hook Up If It Weren’t A Patriarchal Fantasy

Spuffy Is Problematic

Bangel Is A Child’s Delusion Of What Love Is
Spuffy Is Literally Assault
Okay But He Felt Really Bad About It And Didn’t Have A Soul

Waif-Fu And Thermodynamics: You Can’t Violate The Law Of Conservation Of Momentum

Season Six Felt Like Watching My Friends Get Murdered In Slow Motion Right In Front Of Me

It Was Worth It For Once More, With Feeling, Though
No, It Wasn’t
Doublemeat Palace Cancels Out Once More, With Feeling
Doublemeat Palace Cancels Out My Childhood

Xander Is The Only Character Who Retains Their Humanity On The Entire Show

Xander Is A Greater Monster Than Angelus And Invented “Nice Guy” Syndrome

Buffy Started To Falter After Angel Premiered

No, Buffy Started To Falter After Firefly Premiered
No, Buffy Has Never Faltered And Is Still On The Air
Buffy Started To Falter When Angel/Faith/Buffy Came Back
Buffy Was Better When It Was A Movie With Kristy Swanson

What If Evil?

Dark Willow Straight-Up Flayed a Dude!
Extremism In the Pursuit of Love Is No Vice
If a Dude Had Flayed Willow, Would We Be Cheering?

Everyone Was Too Hard On Dawn For Being A Regular Human Being

Don’t You Dare Try To Retroactively Justify Dawn

Oz vs. Tara

Oz Was Boring; Tara Was Too Good For This Sinful Earth
Tara Was Boring; Oz Was The Greatest Love Interest In Television History; Remember That Animal Crackers Monologue
What About Kenned–
SHUT UP ABOUT KENNEDY

Jenny Calendar And Race-Bending

Is It Important That Buffy Is Decidedly Not Book Smart?

Not Everyone Is Book Smart, That Is Elitist
Buffy is the Lady Channing Tatum of being Body Smart and That Is Sufficient
It Is a Tremendous Problem and Girls Should Not Watch This Show Or They Will Not Take College Seriously

I Shouldn’t Have To Watch Angel In Order To Appreciate Cordelia’s Growth As A Character

Shaming: Everyone Is Shamed

“Beer Bad” Is Slut-Shaming
“Beer Bad” Is Substance-Shaming and Preachy
“Beer Bad” Is Just a Terrible Episode
Angel Losing His Soul After He Has Sex With Buffy is Slut-Shaming
THE EPISODE WHERE WILLOW ATTENDS THE WICCAN MEETING IS WICCAN-SHAMING WICCANS ARE REAL WE ARE NOT YOUR PUNCHLINE

KENDRA’S ACCENT THOUGH

Was It Irish Sometimes, Or Was That Just Me?
Her Accent is Perfect, and Not To Be Questioned

Activating All Potential Slayers Was An Act Of Patriarchal Violence

Slaying Is Empowering
No, Slayers Were Literally Created When A Woman Of Color Was Forcibly Invaded By A Demonic Essence
Oh, Right
But Then They Get To Beat Up Everybody
Dark Willow Straight-Up Flayed a Dude

Source - Talk Of The Town http://the-toast.net/2015/03/24/every-argument-about-buffy-on-the-internet-from-1998-until-now/

I am quite certain there are things we can add to this!