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bespangled
29-07-18, 03:34 AM
It's been going around tumblr. I did mine for Spike/Angel. Pick a ship and see where it leads you. Mine came out in dialogue but most are paragraphs.

ANGEL/SPIKE

insists that they are an awesome dancer even though they’re terrible

“Bloody hell, who told you could dance! Looks more like you’re havin some sort of seizure yeah”

“Hey, I know how to dance. I can waltz, as long as I get to lead.”

“Well, I’m not gonna bleedin waltz with you Liam, am I...feel like a drink?”

“Oh yeah.”

likes to watch reality tv

“This is dumb.”

“No, this is how real people act ‘n not like anal retentive control freaks. Don’t worry...got a couple pages of notes for you on my clipboard.”

“Spike, they’re shouting, fighting and ****ing. That’s not how real people act: That’s how you act.”

refuses to wear pants when they’re home alone

“Just put on some pants.”

“Hold on. Been thinking. Figure we’ve shagged on every surface in this place. Feel like getting out the chains and having a spot of fun, Peaches.”

“Oh, yeah.”

is the jealous / protective one?

“Hold on a minute. You’re tellin me you knew Blue was gonna dust me and you just pushed me outta the way? I’m touched.”

“You’re an *******.”

“Well, yeah but a touched one. Sit still and let me finish wrapping this tighter. Don’t wanna ruin one of those fancy suits that make you look like a constipated walrus.”

“Next time I’ll let her dust you. In fact, next time I’ll dust you myself.”

“Still touched. You wanna drink?”

“Just grab the bottle.”

Goes all out on the holidays?

“Oh look, another bleeding book I’ll never want to read.”

“Well, you got me that stupid game you’ve been nattering about.”

“Guess we’re gonna swap again then, right?”

“Looks like it. Pass me the rum, and keep the volume down. Oh, and Spike. Merry Christmas.”

cries over books

"Spike, don’t tell me you weren’t actually crying over that book.”

“Was not. S’ just that Beth makes me remember the niblet. Besides, my mum used to read it to me when I got sick.”

“Your mother read you Little Women? That explains so much about you, William”

“You like Manilow Liam. Nuff said.”

is terrible with kids

"I had a son with Darla”

“Wait, you and Darla? Two deads made a living somehow?”

“It was a prophecy. Hand me the bottle. This is gonna take some time to explain.”

“So this was a real human kid?”

drinks too much caffeine

“Spike, you have been bouncing off the walls...literally...for two damn days. What the hell is going on with you,”

“Nothing... So, you tried one of those Stabucks pumpkin spice thingies yet?

could sleep for twenty-four hours straight

"Look, I know Buffy died but you can’t let it hit you this way. She wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life in bed.”

“Just go away.”

never wears matching socks

“You do realize you're wearing a pink sock and a green one.”

“Angel, once I have my boots on no one is gonna see them and no one is gonna know.”

“I’m gonna know.”

“Well, goody for you then.”

punches a tree when they’re angry

"”Oh, that was mature.”

“Shut up, and help me pull this bone straight. I swear one more day in this place and I’m gonna be crazier than Dru.”

gets scared by the toaster

"You know they’re still watching us, ponce. Evil like that doesn’t just go away.”

“You’re paranoid Spike.

“Yeah, well than look what I found under the toaster. Some sort of camera thingy or maybe it’s just for hearing us,yeah.”

“That’s my cuff link, you moron.”

Sosa lola
29-07-18, 07:59 AM
Xander/Spike


insists that they are an awesome dancer even though they’re terrible

Xander. Spike always tells him he dances like possessed chicken, but inside he finds him adorable. Xander pays him no attention and keeps on shaking his booty hoping his way of dancing will catch on and become known as The Xander, like the famous The Carlton.

likes to watch reality tv

Spike. He finds it more fake than the soaps he watches, but for some reason he’s infatuated by it.

refuses to wear pants when they’re home alone

Spike. He finally got Xander to give up his PJs so now the two of them are always naked when home alone.

is the jealous / protective one?

Both. Spike pretends he isn’t, so Xander riles him up by moaning Anya’s name while pretending to be asleep. Spike knows he’s awake, hello heartbeat don’t lie, but still leaves in the middle of the night in a huff to make sure Anya and Giles are happily snogging and shagging in the latter’s apartment.

Goes all out on the holidays?

Xander. As a kid who never left Sunnydale, he plans and arranges and books everything. Spike spends their time on holidays comparing wherever they are with how it used to be in the 19th century.

cries over books

Spike. And to his dismay, Xander managed to film it on camera and always threatens to use it whenever Spike attempts to make fun of Buffy’s cooking.

is terrible with kids

Xander. Determined to be the opposite of his parents, he spoils the kids rotten. Spike isn’t any better either.

drinks too much caffeine

Xander. There’s no too much caffeine after a long night of drunken sex with Spike at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

could sleep for twenty-four hours straight

Both. That’s what sex at the top of Statue of Liberty would do to a person.

never wears matching socks

Sometimes Xander wears mismatched socks to work after a long night of BD&SM. Yes, they’re sex addicts, deal with it.

punches a tree when they’re angry

Both. They’re both passionate and Xander has anger problems.

gets scared by the toaster

Sometimes when they’re too drunk, they pretend the toaster is the big bad, and after defeating it, they reward themselves with…. well, you guessed it.

Priceless
29-07-18, 09:28 AM
Buffy/Spike


1) insists that they are an awesome dancer even though they’re terrible

Neither. Spike likes Buffy's dancing, but secretly thinks Faith is a better dancer, though he's never say that to either girl. Both are okay dancers, but they'd both rather be doing other things.

2) likes to watch reality tv

Both. Buffy enjoys the escapism of it, and while Spike sighs loudly and grumbles a lot while it's on, he knows all the characters and makes sure the recorder is set when they're out so they don't miss an episode.

3) refuses to wear pants when they’re home alone

Both. Buffy is like most girls, she's out of her bra and pants as soon as the door is shut. And that just encourages Spike to get out of his pants.

4) is the jealous / protective one?

Both. Buffy knows Spike prefers Faith's dancing, although she'd never tell him she knows, and it irritates the hell out of her. Spike knows Buffy will always love Angel, and he gets jealous, but reminds himself who Buffy is pant-less (and bra-less) with now. They're both deeply protective of the people they love.

5) goes all out on the holidays?

Buffy. She loves a holiday and goes completely over the top with food, gifts, decorations and celebrations. Spike loves her, so he plays along, but really as long as there's beer, Buffy and he can watch the football, he's happy.

6) cries over books

Spike. Buffy doesn't have time to read, she has weapons to clean, and why are the pots still in the sink, and Big Brother is on in 10 and she'll get the popcorn. Spike whines about the rubbish on the idiot box nowadays, but he puts down his book, dries his eyes and shouts through to the kitchen 'If Derek doesn't use that power of veto he's a bloody idiot'

7) is terrible with kids

Buffy. She's not terrible, but kids automatically go to Spike and he's so good, she likes to watch him play with them. Buffy just lacks a bit of confidence and Spike tries to encourage her.

8) drinks too much caffeine

Buffy. She's worked in coffee shops, and became addicted. The stronger the better.

9) could sleep for twenty-four hours straight

Both. They have a big comfy bed where they can both spread out after long battles and sex, and can sleep forever. Although all that coffee means Buffy always wakes up first, but she doesn't get up, she just snuggles into Spike until he wakes.

10) never wears matching socks

Neither. Buffy would never not wear matching socks, unless it was a fashion statement, and all Spike's socks are exactly the same, so it's never an issue for him.

11) punches a tree when they’re angry

Neither. They'd rather punch each other, much more fun way to work our those kinks and annoyances, and if Spike compliments Faith's dancing again, he's gonna get another broken nose.

12) gets scared by the toaster

Neither. Or both when it suddenly became possessed by an K'muquick demon and threatened to toast them to death and burn the apartment down. That was a long night of spell casting and avoiding the kitchen.

TriBel
29-07-18, 09:46 AM
It's been going around tumblr. I did mine for Spike/Angel. Pick a ship and see where it leads you. Mine came out in dialogue but most are paragraphs.

ANGEL/SPIKE

insists that they are an awesome dancer even though they’re terrible

“Bloody hell, who told you could dance! Looks more like you’re havin some sort of seizure yeah”

“Hey, I know how to dance. I can waltz, as long as I get to lead.”

“Well, I’m not gonna bleedin waltz with you Liam, am I...feel like a drink?”

“Oh yeah.”

likes to watch reality tv

“This is dumb.”

“No, this is how real people act ‘n not like anal retentive control freaks. Don’t worry...got a couple pages of notes for you on my clipboard.”

“Spike, they’re shouting, fighting and ****ing. That’s not how real people act: That’s how you act.”

refuses to wear pants when they’re home alone

“Just put on some pants.”

“Hold on. Been thinking. Figure we’ve shagged on every surface in this place. Feel like getting out the chains and having a spot of fun, Peaches.”

“Oh, yeah.”

is the jealous / protective one?

“Hold on a minute. You’re tellin me you knew Blue was gonna dust me and you just pushed me outta the way? I’m touched.”

“You’re an *******.”

“Well, yeah but a touched one. Sit still and let me finish wrapping this tighter. Don’t wanna ruin one of those fancy suits that make you look like a constipated walrus.”

“Next time I’ll let her dust you. In fact, next time I’ll dust you myself.”

“Still touched. You wanna drink?”

“Just grab the bottle.”

Goes all out on the holidays?

“Oh look, another bleeding book I’ll never want to read.”

“Well, you got me that stupid game you’ve been nattering about.”

“Guess we’re gonna swap again then, right?”

“Looks like it. Pass me the rum, and keep the volume down. Oh, and Spike. Merry Christmas.”

cries over books

"Spike, don’t tell me you weren’t actually crying over that book.”

“Was not. S’ just that Beth makes me remember the niblet. Besides, my mum used to read it to me when I got sick.”

“Your mother read you Little Women? That explains so much about you, William”

“You like Manilow Liam. Nuff said.”

is terrible with kids

"I had a son with Darla”

“Wait, you and Darla? Two deads made a living somehow?”

“I was a prophecy. Hand me the bottle. This is gonna take some time to explain.”

“So this was a real human kid?”

drinks too much caffeine

“Spike, you have been bouncing off the walls...literally...for two damn days. What the hell is going on with you,”

“Nothing... So, you tried one of those Stabucks pumpkin spice thingies yet?

could sleep for twenty-four hours straight

"Look, I know Buffy died but you can’t let it hit you this way. She wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life in bed.”

“Just go away.”

never wears matching socks

“You do realize you're wearing a pink sock and a green one.”

“Angel, once I have my boots on know one is gonna see them and no one is gonna know.”

“I’m gonna know.”

“Well, goody for you then.”

punches a tree when they’re angry

"”Oh, that was mature.”

“Shut up, and help me pull this bone straight. I swear one more day in this place and I’m gonna be crazier than Dru.”

gets scared by the toaster

"You know they’re still watching us, ponce. Evil like that doesn’t just go away.”

“You’re paranoid Spike.

“Yeah, well than look what I found under the toaster. Some sort of camera thingy or maybe it’s just for hearing us,yeah.”

“That’s my cuff link, you moron.”

I laughed out loud. I had coffee in my mouth at the time. You owe me for a new keyboard. :rotf:

Double Dutchess
29-07-18, 11:01 PM
all Spike's socks are exactly the same, so it's never an issue for him.

Ha, the only right answer! :rotf: