View Full Version : Which villain would you hench for?

Vampire in Rug
22-03-14, 11:25 PM
So I often enjoy discussing this hypothetical with one of my friends, thought it would be a fun thread to have here. My friend and I sometimes like to discuss which of Batman's villains we would be willing to work for if we were down-on-our luck criminals operating in Gotham City. None of us ever choose the Joker because we enjoy y'know, living. Penguin or Mr. Freeze are usually the way to go, treat them with respect and you'll get the same back (usually).

Think of the various villains in the Buffyverse. Imagine you've just been turned into a vampire/demon/cultist/whatever. You're a nobody. Which villain would you be willing to be a lackey for? Are there any villains you'd specifically avoid working for? What do you think the pros and cons would be for various big bads? I'll post my own ideas after a few other responses.

22-03-14, 11:59 PM
I wouldn't want to be on Jasmine's team because the falsity of what she is providing would stick in my craw if I knew about it and make a mockery of me if I didn't. As much as a love evil!Spike and would like to be, erm... on his team (cough), I wouldn't want to be one of his lackey's because they are all very disposable to him and he is reeeeally unpredictable. The Master is too bound by expectations of traditional formulaic behaviour and kowtowing. I couldn't stick thoughtless following, even if I was on the lowest rung, so a lot of villains are out for me. W&H manipulate too much and treat employees very much as disposable assets. I think working with the Mayor would appeal the most because of the prospects. With him I think you can get out what you put in perhaps and loyalty/ingenuity would be rewarded.

23-03-14, 12:30 AM
Cool thread. I don't count the Jasmaniacs or Holtz's gang as "evil henchmen" (especially Holtz's non-Justine gang members that didn't get into the weeds of Holtz's revenge plot). In my head, they're out of this scenario. I'm dealing with major villains- maybe I'll think in terms of MoTW later.

If (a) I was committed to being evil in this hypothetical with no way that I'd change my mind and (b) souls are assigned final resting places based on their good or bad deeds on earth, I'd easily prefer to hench for W&H. No question. Top salary, excellent job perks, wonderful facilities to make sure that my evil gets executed effectively, lots of allies with all kinds of power to back me up in a hairy situation, if I was a vampire, necro-tempered glass, I'd rather live in LA than Sunnydale*. Yes, W&H treats their employees like crap but all of the villains treat their employees like crap. W&H is merely more skilled and cold about how they do it.

The Mayor is probably second place. Although while there are perks to being Faith or Mr. Trick (compensation, perks, friendship/love), I don't really see how the Mayor rewarded the vampires under his command and Allen Finch was sure unsatisfied with his job. The Mayor probably gave them blood since he regulates their snacking and they are under his protection, whatever that means. (Although, seriously, the Mayor sent them expecting Buffy and her crew to stake a bunch of them on Graduation Day to just be the vampire-shields before his Ascension and I doubt he shed a tear over any of the vampire lackeys that he lost.)

If we count Andrew and Jonathan as Warren's "henchmen", Warren never killed or threatened to kill his henchmen- making him unique among the more important Buffyverse villains. Warren also has outstanding technology that I could try to steal or convince Warren to let me deal with selling them in exchange for some of the profits. Plus, the some of the toys were fun. However, I don't think Jonathan and Andrew are representative of any henchmen that walk off the street. They were Warren's "buddies". And I'm a girl just a few years older than S6 Warren. I don't think I'd be safe around there.

I would LEAST want to work for any of the vamps- the Master, Spike, Angel, Darla. I don't think any of the henchvamps really got benefits other than to claim that they're in the house of such and such vamp celebrity and for some direction on evil plans. In exchange, the henchavamps were regularly threatened, beaten, and staked. Sunday was probably the best boss since she actually had a practically useful scheme going on instead of a vanity exercise like "I'M GONNA KILL THE SLAYER. And you, sidekick, will do the convoluted legwork to help me". Plus, Sunday seemed more likely to snark on her crew than stake or torture them.

ETA: I will say that the Master was probably the best vamp boss to work for. He showed that he could be nurturing of a sorts to Darla, the Anointed One, Vamp Willow, Vamp Xander. I think the nurturing was real and the Aurelius name must have come cachet. But I can't get past how the Master would threaten even his loved ones. I guess I'd be much more gung ho about being the Master's minion in the Wishverse because the Bronze was like, Pleasure Island for vamps.

I have a similar aversion to working for Adam. He sends his henchavamps on a likely death- to a church filled with crosses on a sunny day for an experiment. And I don't think he ever intended to keep his promise to de-chip Spike. Although my human sensibilities recoil at his zombified and uglified minions of Walsh or Dr. Angelman or Forrest, but I could see how monster would like the idea of being saved from death and given super-strength ala Zombie!Forrest. Forrest sure considered it a favor. It's a potential benefit to my hypothetical evil monster that the evil master vamps never seemed to offer anyone.

*I'm assuming I get put in the LA office- since we're talking *Buffyverse* villains. Heck, I'd rather live in Rome than Sunnydale, easily.

23-03-14, 12:58 AM
Harmony! Ok, so I don't think she count as a "major villain" but she did have her own minions in Real Me and as far as vampires go, she was very friendly and encouraging;

Okay, hi. First of all I want to thank
everybody for a really successful raid
last night on the Magic Shop…
Good good job, minions.

Not only that but she's kind of a pushover and I wouldn't feel physically threatened by her the way I would working for The Master, Angelus, Spike, Darla or Dru. The downside would be that I don't think other vampire gangs would take us seriously and Harmony is risking my life with her deluded attempts to antagonize and kill the Slayer.

I also wouldn't mind Sunday. She certainly showed a nasty and authoritative side ("We eat when I say we eat!") but in comparison to the other vampires, she did seem to treat her minions like friends. She joked with them, participated in their rituals, and generally talked to them more on their level. The only reservations I would have is that I get the impression that they might have all hung out as humans and that when Sunday became a vampire she sired them all, which explains why Sunday only sired Eddie to be a sacrificial lamb and didn't care about his life whatsoever. If you weren't part of their clique as a human she may treat you far worse.

If I had to pick a Big Bad I would probably choose The Mayor. He did threaten his minions on occasion ("If I see blood on your lips it's a trip to the woodshed for you boys!") and he was threatening and intimidating towards both Mr Trick and Alan Finch, but I also think he'd reward good work. He also seemed to have more patience for his minions that screwed up on occasion and didn't automatically kill or maim them as punishment.

Vampire in Rug
23-03-14, 01:15 AM
Big bads and MOTW are both valid answers. Anyone with henchmen, really.

My first picks would be W&H and the Mayor. Both of them have a lot of perks to the job, and the professional atmosphere would really be appreciated. I'd probably put the Mayor slightly above W&H. Several episodes of AtS imply that the Senior Partners as bosses are pretty darn terrifying. Even the higher ups in the company are punished pretty severely for failure, and the environment is designed to foster all kinds of backstabbing and infighting. The Mayor is more approachable and caring than Holland or Hamilton, and I don't recall any of the Mayors lackies being encouraged to backstab each other to earn favour with him.

Dracula would also rank pretty highly on my list. He genuinely seems to care for his lackeys.

I think D'Hoffryn would be pretty great to work for. Put in the hard work and he treats you with a lot of respect. He's friendly and offers guidance. Arashmahir seems like a really professional environment, we never see it but whenever someone talks about it, it seems to operate like an office. But I'm not sure if there are male Vengance Demons, so I may not get hired there.