Season 8 episode transcripts

[KingofCretins]

Here are the transcripts for Buffy Season 8, now all hosted on-site in case of future errors with BW.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Season 8
8.01 The Long Way Home, Part I (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=13968&postcount=2)
8.02 The Long Way Home, Part II (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=13972&postcount=3)
8.03 The Long Way Home, Part III (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=13975&postcount=4)
8.04 The Long Way Home, Part IV (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=13978&postcount=5)
8.05 The Chain (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=51103&postcount=6)
8.06 No Future For You, Part I (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=68590&postcount=7)
8.07 No Future For You, Part II (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=80577&postcount=8)
8.08 No Future For You, Part III (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=96301&postcount=9)
8.09 No Future For You, Part IV (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=114387&postcount=10)
8.10 Anywhere But Here (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=134537&postcount=11)
8.11 A Beautiful Sunset (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=155490&postcount=12)
8.12 Wolves at the Gate, Part I (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=168301&postcount=13)
8.13 Wolves at the Gate, Part II (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=189513&postcount=14)
8.14 Wolves at the Gate, Part III (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=210053&postcount=15)
8.15 Wolves at the Gate, Part IV (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=220187&postcount=16)
8.16 Time of Your Life, Part I (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=238747&postcount=17)
8.17 Time of Your Life, Part II (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=255844&postcount=18)
8.18 Time of Your Life, Part III (http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showpost.php?p=271380&postcount=19)


Please give any feedback by PM and leave this thread for transcripts.

[KingofCretins]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight, Issue #1
“The Long Way Home, Part I”

Prologue Summary: This story takes place after the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Seven.

Start of Issue #1

The opening image is the sun rising over the curve of the Earth from outer space.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: The thing about changing the world… once you do it, the world’s all different.

The next image is of Buffy herself, along with three other Slayers, jumping on tether lines out of one of the two helicopters visible in the night sky. All four are dressed in combat-style jumpsuits.

Buffy and one of the others, a blonde-haired girl with a backwards cap (later revealed to be ROWENA), are carrying what appear to be lasers of some kind. The rear-most Slayer, with long, red hair (whose name is later revealed to be LEAH), leaps with her arms out to either side, clearly ready for a fight. Buffy’s third companion is a young Asian woman with a cap that has small cat ears and several buttons on her uniform, including one that says “rude girl” (her name is SATSU).

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Everybody calls me ‘ma’am’ these days.

As the team of Slayers descends, Buffy fires her laser-like weapon below her, where it appears to disrupt some kind of energy field.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: There used to be one Slayer in all the world.

Buffy is shown entering a crouching posture as she prepares to land.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Eighteen hundred now, that we’ve counted. Almost five hundred working with us, in ten separate squads.

Buffy lands as the other Slayers are shown dropping through the hole in the force field.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: There’s even three of me.

From a wide-view, we see the women have arrived on the roof of a run-down castle on the top of a bluff. There’s an old cemetery in the foreground.

BUFFY: Field’s vaped and we’re on the roof.

RADIO-VOICE: Access should be right in front of you.

The four are shown positioned in front of a boarded window, with Leah closest to it and Buffy just behind her. Rowena is covering their rear with a spear gun, and Satsu is shown to be providing camera coverage from a head-mounted camera to whoever is on the radio to the team.

BUFFY: Leah, open her up.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: The guys figured I was a target, set up two other Slayers to be me. One’s underground. Literally. One’s in Rome, partying very publicly – and supposedly dating some guy called “The Immortal.”

Next we see Buffy and Satsu looking through the broken boards into the dark of the castle.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: That part was Andrew’s idea. He did research on the guy, said it would be hilarious for some reason.

SATSU: Can’t see a thing, ma’am.

BUFFY: Can *smell* a thing, though.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Here at Command Central, not so much with the hilarious. More with the “what the hell am I doing?”

Buffy dives into the open window, leaving the three Slayers watching her, confused.

LEAH: What th’hell is she doing?

(NARRATION) BUFFY: It’s not all that different, though. Still got my demons. And I still got my Watcher.

We switch to a much different scene, in what appears to be a control room. Several young women, presumably Slayers, are working at computers around the edge of the room. Off to the side, what appear to be two young witches are concentrating on a glowing red ball between them. The room has a panel of monitors, one showing a confused Leah shrugging, through Satsu’s camera. In the middle of the room is a platform, clearly for command. And on the platform, is a man with his arms crossed behind his back… and an eye-patch visible over his right eye. He is wearing a grey and black uniform that looks very sleek.

(NARRATION) XANDER: I used to be in construction.

XANDER: You’re five by five, Buf. Satellite has them clustered by the altar and our psychics read them as unaware.

We see Xander’s face in close-up.

XANDER: Soon as Rowena’s placed, we’re go.

(NARRATION) XANDER: Pay was good, hours were way better than this. They even ended occasionally.

A young woman with short, curly brown hair looks up from her monitor to get Xander’s attention (this is RENEE)

(NARRATION) XANDER: But when duty calls… you don’t exactly get to screen.

RENEE: Mister Harris, we’ve got a development with the Barcelona squad.

Xander walks over to her monitor to get more information.

RENEE: Vamp nest looks a lot bigger than they thought.

XANDER: How many in the squad?

RENEE: Seven. Donna’s running them, but they’re pretty green.

Xander looks at her monitor from over Renee’s shoulder.

XANDER: Andrew’s still working southern Italy – tell him to pick his ten best, hop over.

RENEE: Roger that.

XANDER: Tell him his ten best. Not ten best *dressed*. We don’t want another Orvieto.

RENEE: Yes, Mister Harris.

Xander returns to the main monitor for the current mission, but takes a moment to address a concern with Renee.

XANDER: “Xander”, Renee, I told you, it’s “Xander” or “Sergeant Fury”.

The angle reverses and we see Renee smiling coyly with her head low so that Xander wouldn’t be able to see even if he happened to pay close attention.

RENEE: Wasn’t Nick Fury a *colonel* when he ran S.H.I.E.L.D.?

XANDER: I like him better in the “Howling Commando” days. But your nerd points are accumulating impressively.

RENEE: I try, Sergeant.

Xander has returned his attention to the mission monitor, where Satsu’s camera shows Buffy standing outside a wooden door with the group behind her.

Xander: (into radio) Okay, Buf. Game on.

Back in the castle, the wooden door is launched across the room. Buffy’s side-kicked it out of the frame, her leg still extended. The image reverses to one of three very large and gruesome demons in the center of the large room. They have tentacles like hair and tusks. Between them, there are at least two human bodies, men, obviously dead.

We see a close-up on Buffy’s face, looking determined and ready for a fight.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Their first victims. Gotta get ‘em past it.

BUFFY: Flank ‘em. Now.

Buffy charges the first demon alone. It stands up, ready to fight her.

DEMON: Thissss one… looks tasssty.

The demon lunges and brings a fist down where it expects Buffy, but she slides beneath its head, kicking its arm as she stops.

BUFFY: Thanks, I work out.

Buffy fires a punch upwards from below its chin with a large *KRAK*, but the demon wraps her ankle with its tail and whips her out, throwing her across the room toward the altar.

BUFFY: AHH!

Buffy crashes through the altar, shattering it. A large cross falls from the altar towards Buffy. In a new panel, the other two demons are stalking toward Leah and Satsu, who appear to be cornered.

DEMON #2: Sssad little girl… Lossst the element of sssurprise.

Suddenly, both of these demons are skewered from behind through the head and neck, gore scattering with a *CRISSH* and a *UUURLLLGH!*

From Leah and Satsu’s perspective, we see the shots came from outside the building. Rowena and two previously unseen Slayers are hanging on repelling lines and holding the spear-guns seen earlier.

ROWENA: Dat vent vell.

Meanwhile, Buffy is still facing off with the first demon. The Slayers watch from near the window as it faces off with her. Buffy is holding the large gold cross from the destroyed altar in front of her, a peg sticking out of the bottom of it where it was seated in the altar.

DEMON: Sssstupid human, I am no vampire. You think I fear the cross?

In a blur of movement, Buffy pounces, driving the base of the cross through the top of the demon’s skull with a *SHUUK*. The demon’s teeth shatter as it head is driven to the ground. Grimly, Buffy pulls the cross back up toward her shoulder, staring down at the demon.

BUFFY: Might wanna start.

We see a view from the ceiling. Leah is watching as Buffy gently sets the cross aside against a stone column. The other Slayers are surveying the three demons and the human bodies.

LEAH: That were a wee bit repulsive.

BUFFY: Went okay. ‘Cept I feel a little weird about using a crucifix to kill someone.

LEAH: Yeh dinno much about religion, do yeh?

SATSU: (looking at one of the men’s bodies) Ma’am? What is that?

Buffy joins her and they stare down at the man’s chest.

SATSU: On his chest.

We see a symbol has been carved into the man’s chest. It is made up of a straight horizontal line, an intersecting semi-circle above it, and a four pointed diamond about and left of the shape.

BUFFY: This isn’t recent.

SATSU: They were hostage for a time?

BUFFY: Satsu, zoom in. Xander, send this to Records. Copy Giles on it.

XANDER: (through the radio) Gotchya.

Rowena, Leah, and Satsu watch as Buffy walks toward the wall, apparently inspecting a container.

ROWENA: Vhat are you thinkink?

BUFFY: Self-inflicted. I don’t think these are random victims.

The image moves over to Buffy, who is lifting the rifle she has found out of the container. It appears to be an M-16. She hefts it as though familiar with it, and looks at it with concern.

BUFFY: I think these boys were looking for a fight.

In a wider view, the Slayers are still studying the room for more clues or equipment. Rowena pulls a tarp off of a machine on the floor, calling over to Buffy.

ROWENA: I tink ta forcefield was deirs, too.

UNNAMED SLAYER: So they wanted to be alone with those things? That doesn’t add up.

The image gradually begins pulling away through a shattered stain glass window. The Slayers have assembled around their leader, who speaks with her hands upturned as if teaching.

BUFFY: This is all bad math. But that symbol…

We see the group from even further above the castle.

BUFFY: That’s gonna clear it up.

The view pulls away even further. We can see almost the whole castle. Surprisingly, at least a hundred feet in the air, we see a pair of dark boots, dark pants, and the tail of either a dark cape or coat, as if of someone hovering high in the sky surveying the scene.

BUFFY: That’s gonna tell us what those guys are part of.

The next seen is very bright. A helicopter is coming out of view from the shining sun, cloud tops seen below it. One of the passengers is speaking.

PASSENGER: An army.

We see the inside of the helicopter. Behind the two pilots, we see into the passenger cabin of a military helicopter. The original speaker is a man in uniform, GENERAL VOLL, sitting with arms crossed and looking angry or impatient, probably both. Another passenger is with him, a MAN IN A BROWN SUIT with a briefcase held against his chest on his lap.

MAN IN SUIT: You don’t think that’s overstating it, General Voll? Our intel says they’re too loosely affiliated to… I mean, they’re scattered in those –

VOLL: “Squads,” right. Terrorists call ‘em “cells.”

General Voll shoves his finger into his fellow passenger’s face as he continues to speak. Or rant.

VOLL: We go ahead with this, we gotta be together on exactly what we’re facing. And that’s an army. They got power. They got resources. And they got a hard-line ideology that does not jibe with American interests.

We get close enough to Voll’s face to see he wrinkles around his eyes, and his expression is very angry.

VOLL: Worst of all, they got a leader. Charismatic, uncompromising, and completely destructive.

Voll turns and looks out the window of the helicopter to support his next statement.

VOLL: I mean, for the love of God…

A stunning image appears before us as the view reverses. The helicopter is flying over a large crater than can only be Sunnydale.

VOLL: … look what she did to her hometown.

On the ground, a tent is set up on a two lane road with a humvee parked next to it. Guards stand outside it, and inside, men at computer stations are visible. It could even be the same road where the bus stopped in “Chosen”

RESEARCHER: We have you at sixty feet under.

Inside the tent, there are three men monitoring equipment, two in uniform, and the man who is speaking, wearing a shirt and tie.

RESEARCHER: You must be picking up some traces.

The view shifts to the surface of the crater. Despite some debris and a wrecked car visible, the surface appears to have grown smooth over the time since it’s collapsed. Three people in environmental suits are standing together over a hole that appears to have been bored deeper into the crater, below the surface of the rubble. There is a winch over it of the sort used to lower men into caverns or utility tunnels. A voice coming through a radio headset is heard belonging to a man lowered on the winch.

SPELUNKER: That’s a negative, sir, unless you count the willies…

The owner of the voice, also in an environment suit, is in a cavern opened up below. There is also visible debris here: bricks, a fire hydrant, a stove.

SPELUNKER: It’s like a museum down here. But no bodies, and no mystical reading.

From the shadows, two hands are reaching for the spelunking researcher, whose back is turned.

SPELUNKER: I’m all alone down here.

He turns, as if hearing something, but much too late to avoid whatever is charging him. With an *AAAAAAHHH*, the men in the tent at the side of the crater remove their headsets in surprise.

The next image is the symbol the Slayer team found in the castle. It is projected on a black screen. A voice that is revealed to be Buffy’s asks a decent question.

BUFFY: So what’s it all mean?

The view reverses and we see that Buffy and Xander are alone in a study, with the image projected in front of them. Buffy is sitting on the end of a conference table, contentedly eating a sandwich, while Xander sits along the side, his legs tossed casually up on the table.

XANDER: Nothing from the experts, but I’ve been studying it for a while.

BUFFY: And?

XANDER: I think it’s a frown turned upside down. And then turned upside down again.

BUFFY: So you think it’s a frown?

XANDER: Guy with a monocle frowning.

BUFFY: You’re a terrible Watcher.

XANDER: I’m not a Watcher.

BUFFY: Well, clearly.

Buffy gets up and walks over to the projected image, peering at it curiously. Xander stands up behind her, ready to change the topic.

XANDER: Don’t call me a Watcher. And you need to talk to Dawn.

BUFFY: (ignoring him) I think it’s a beautiful sunset.

XANDER: Seriously, you gotta see Dawn.

Buffy looks back over her shoulder at him, looking sad and a little weary.

BUFFY: She’s just gonna whine.

XANDER: She’s got a lot to whine about.

BUFFY: There’s nothing I can do till we find Willow.

Xander looks at her earnestly, and perhaps with admonishment.

XANDER: You could be her sister.

Buffy is next seen stepping through a door, some time after talking to Xander.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Xander is so stupid when he’s right. But all Dawn does lately is talk about her problems. Which admittedly…

As Buffy steps through the door, she is in a large chamber of their base, which appears to be a castle. A stairwell wraps around the edge of the room. There are open portals in the ceiling, and it’s hard to tell if it’s a disused part of the castle, or meant to be a nursery or something else. Sitting in the middle of the room is DAWN. And she’s a giant. She literally fills the room sitting against one wall. She has a sad and lonely expression.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: … have gotten bigger.

BUFFY: Thought I’d come see you.

DAWN: ‘Cause Xander made you?

BUFFY: What are you talking about?

DAWN: (ignoring the question) Has Willow called?

BUFFY: I’m sure she will soon… but if you told me about it, I could at least get some of the apprentice witches…

DAWN: I’m not talking to you about it.

BUFFY: But you’ll talk to Willow.

DAWN: Willow understands. She taught me a lot, especially when you were dead.
BUFFY: Taught you a lot of what?

Throughout this scene, Buffy is shown in several positions on the stairs around Dawn to indicate the passage of time. She and Dawn talk for at least a while, because when they resume speaking, Buffy has gotten comfortable, lying on her back on the landing of the stairs, looking at Dawn upside down.

DAWN: … because you act like it’s my fault.

BUFFY: You were dating a thricewise.

DAWN: Kenny never said he was a thricewise!

BUFFY: I said he was a thricewise. Leah said he was a thricewise. Giles said he was a thricewise and he only ever met him on the phone!

Some time later again, Buffy is at the top of the stairs, about to leave Dawn’s room.

BUFFY: You should get out, run around on the moor.

DAWN: It’s frickin’ freezing! Why do we have to be in Scotland?

BUFFY: You don’t have to be in Scotland. You have to be at Berkeley.

DAWN: Believe me, as soon as I’m person-sized, I’m out of here.

BUFFY: I got things to do.

As Buffy steps out of Dawn’s room onto a circular stair going up, Dawn glares at her. Buffy glares over her shoulder right back.

DAWN: I could swat you like a flea.

BUFFY: Your butt looks big in those giant pants.

Buffy begins climbing the circular stairs away from Dawn’s closed door.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: How does that happen? How do we turn into twelve-year-olds all of a sudden every time we talk? Face it, we haven’t gotten along since…

Buffy steps outside. Her face looks very sad as she stares out at the world around her.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: … since we changed the world.

The view becomes very wide, and we finally see Buffy and her friend’s new home. The castle sits high on a cliff side, and the view of the mountainous Scottish terrain is amazing. It appears to be sunset.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: I miss my home.

Buffy’s face turns toward us, looking as lonely as Dawn’s did.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: I miss my mom.

Buffy’s face turns down in profile as her thoughts wander.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: I miss the gang. And churros. And sex. Great, muppety Odin, I miss that sex.

Buffy’s face grows annoyed or angry as she loses her train of thought.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Ooh! I just *know* Dawn had sex with that Kenny and won’t say anything to me – but she’ll tell Willow. Fine, her first time and it all goes wrong with I’m *totally* well versed in and anyhow Willow’s the expert on boys since *when* now?

Buffy reaches a hand to her forehead in frustration. She looks exhausted.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Outstanding. I can’t even feel *sorry* for myself in a linear fashion. Suck it up, Summers.

Buffy sits with her legs hanging of the side of the castle wall. She is visible in silhouette.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: You’re a big girl now.

Halfway around the world, General Voll eyes are looking appalled through the slot in a metal door.

VOLL: (whispering) Lord.

Voll jumps back from the door, disgusted. He is in a hallway of what appears to be a laboratory or medical center. With him are the man in the brown suit and a doctor in a labcoat. He is looking at something we can’t see in a room or cell and doesn’t like it at all.

VOLL: How it that thing alive?

DOCTOR: Well, magic. Obviously.

The three men leave the door and walk down the hallway. Other doors like that one are visible, as well as a nurse’s station.

DOCTOR: We believe Subject One was keeping him alive. Keeping both of them alive, after the decimation.

VOLL: But… I mean, did they eat? What did they eat?

DOCTOR: Best guess? (stopping and looking at General Voll) Whoever else was trapped in there.

Voll doesn’t enjoy the thought, and rubs his forehead under his hat.

VOLL: Insane. At least tell me they had the decency to go insane.

The doctor is moving toward a different cell as he responds to Voll.

DOCTOR: Unstable, but surprisingly coherent. Subject One is the more vocal right now. Once our man underground got over his girly screaming fit, he told us her first words. (peers into the new door) “I’m gonna help you kill her.”

Voll is very upset that that news, and begins waving his finger around.

VOLL: Who compromised our intel –

DOCTOR: Magic, General. You still have to learn the rules.

VOLL: There aren’t any goddamn rules.

DOCTOR: That’s sort of what I meant.

Voll marches over to the door himself, ready to look in at Subject One. The man in the brown suit turns to the doctor with a question.

MAN IN SUIT: Do you think she *can* help us?

VOLL: What does she want?

DOCTOR: Access to all our magical hardware. A weapons lab for her “boyfriend.”

VOLL: You can’t mean they –

DOCTOR: Try not to picture it. Also release and full immunity if they succeed in taking Buffy Summers down. And, well… she wants a lot of cheese.

VOLL: (staring into the cell) Cheese. Of course. We got a name on this nut job?

Inside the cell, a young woman is kneeling in a padded room. Her hair is unkempt, she’s wearing only a hospital gown, and is covered in bandages. In her hand, a green ball of magical energy is glowing as she stares at it, with a crazy smile on her lips.

DOCTOR: Amy. She says her name is Amy.

End of Issue #1
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight, Issue #1
“The Long Way Home, Part I”

Prologue Summary: This story takes place after the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Seven.

Start of Issue #1

The opening image is the sun rising over the curve of the Earth from outer space.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: The thing about changing the world… once you do it, the world’s all different.

The next image is of Buffy herself, along with three other Slayers, jumping on tether lines out of one of the two helicopters visible in the night sky. All four are dressed in combat-style jumpsuits.

Buffy and one of the others, a blonde-haired girl with a backwards cap (later revealed to be ROWENA), are carrying what appear to be lasers of some kind. The rear-most Slayer, with long, red hair (whose name is later revealed to be LEAH), leaps with her arms out to either side, clearly ready for a fight. Buffy’s third companion is a young Asian woman with a cap that has small cat ears and several buttons on her uniform, including one that says “rude girl” (her name is SATSU).

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Everybody calls me ‘ma’am’ these days.

As the team of Slayers descends, Buffy fires her laser-like weapon below her, where it appears to disrupt some kind of energy field.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: There used to be one Slayer in all the world.

Buffy is shown entering a crouching posture as she prepares to land.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Eighteen hundred now, that we’ve counted. Almost five hundred working with us, in ten separate squads.

Buffy lands as the other Slayers are shown dropping through the hole in the force field.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: There’s even three of me.

From a wide-view, we see the women have arrived on the roof of a run-down castle on the top of a bluff. There’s an old cemetery in the foreground.

BUFFY: Field’s vaped and we’re on the roof.

RADIO-VOICE: Access should be right in front of you.

The four are shown positioned in front of a boarded window, with Leah closest to it and Buffy just behind her. Rowena is covering their rear with a spear gun, and Satsu is shown to be providing camera coverage from a head-mounted camera to whoever is on the radio to the team.

BUFFY: Leah, open her up.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: The guys figured I was a target, set up two other Slayers to be me. One’s underground. Literally. One’s in Rome, partying very publicly – and supposedly dating some guy called “The Immortal.”

Next we see Buffy and Satsu looking through the broken boards into the dark of the castle.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: That part was Andrew’s idea. He did research on the guy, said it would be hilarious for some reason.

SATSU: Can’t see a thing, ma’am.

BUFFY: Can *smell* a thing, though.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Here at Command Central, not so much with the hilarious. More with the “what the hell am I doing?”

Buffy dives into the open window, leaving the three Slayers watching her, confused.

LEAH: What th’hell is she doing?

(NARRATION) BUFFY: It’s not all that different, though. Still got my demons. And I still got my Watcher.

We switch to a much different scene, in what appears to be a control room. Several young women, presumably Slayers, are working at computers around the edge of the room. Off to the side, what appear to be two young witches are concentrating on a glowing red ball between them. The room has a panel of monitors, one showing a confused Leah shrugging, through Satsu’s camera. In the middle of the room is a platform, clearly for command. And on the platform, is a man with his arms crossed behind his back… and an eye-patch visible over his right eye. He is wearing a grey and black uniform that looks very sleek.

(NARRATION) XANDER: I used to be in construction.

XANDER: You’re five by five, Buf. Satellite has them clustered by the altar and our psychics read them as unaware.

We see Xander’s face in close-up.

XANDER: Soon as Rowena’s placed, we’re go.

(NARRATION) XANDER: Pay was good, hours were way better than this. They even ended occasionally.

A young woman with short, curly brown hair looks up from her monitor to get Xander’s attention (this is RENEE)

(NARRATION) XANDER: But when duty calls… you don’t exactly get to screen.

RENEE: Mister Harris, we’ve got a development with the Barcelona squad.

Xander walks over to her monitor to get more information.

RENEE: Vamp nest looks a lot bigger than they thought.

XANDER: How many in the squad?

RENEE: Seven. Donna’s running them, but they’re pretty green.

Xander looks at her monitor from over Renee’s shoulder.

XANDER: Andrew’s still working southern Italy – tell him to pick his ten best, hop over.

RENEE: Roger that.

XANDER: Tell him his ten best. Not ten best *dressed*. We don’t want another Orvieto.

RENEE: Yes, Mister Harris.

Xander returns to the main monitor for the current mission, but takes a moment to address a concern with Renee.

XANDER: “Xander”, Renee, I told you, it’s “Xander” or “Sergeant Fury”.

The angle reverses and we see Renee smiling coyly with her head low so that Xander wouldn’t be able to see even if he happened to pay close attention.

RENEE: Wasn’t Nick Fury a *colonel* when he ran S.H.I.E.L.D.?

XANDER: I like him better in the “Howling Commando” days. But your nerd points are accumulating impressively.

RENEE: I try, Sergeant.

Xander has returned his attention to the mission monitor, where Satsu’s camera shows Buffy standing outside a wooden door with the group behind her.

Xander: (into radio) Okay, Buf. Game on.

Back in the castle, the wooden door is launched across the room. Buffy’s side-kicked it out of the frame, her leg still extended. The image reverses to one of three very large and gruesome demons in the center of the large room. They have tentacles like hair and tusks. Between them, there are at least two human bodies, men, obviously dead.

We see a close-up on Buffy’s face, looking determined and ready for a fight.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Their first victims. Gotta get ‘em past it.

BUFFY: Flank ‘em. Now.

Buffy charges the first demon alone. It stands up, ready to fight her.

DEMON: Thissss one… looks tasssty.

The demon lunges and brings a fist down where it expects Buffy, but she slides beneath its head, kicking its arm as she stops.

BUFFY: Thanks, I work out.

Buffy fires a punch upwards from below its chin with a large *KRAK*, but the demon wraps her ankle with its tail and whips her out, throwing her across the room toward the altar.

BUFFY: AHH!

Buffy crashes through the altar, shattering it. A large cross falls from the altar towards Buffy. In a new panel, the other two demons are stalking toward Leah and Satsu, who appear to be cornered.

DEMON #2: Sssad little girl… Lossst the element of sssurprise.

Suddenly, both of these demons are skewered from behind through the head and neck, gore scattering with a *CRISSH* and a *UUURLLLGH!*

From Leah and Satsu’s perspective, we see the shots came from outside the building. Rowena and two previously unseen Slayers are hanging on repelling lines and holding the spear-guns seen earlier.

ROWENA: Dat vent vell.

Meanwhile, Buffy is still facing off with the first demon. The Slayers watch from near the window as it faces off with her. Buffy is holding the large gold cross from the destroyed altar in front of her, a peg sticking out of the bottom of it where it was seated in the altar.

DEMON: Sssstupid human, I am no vampire. You think I fear the cross?

In a blur of movement, Buffy pounces, driving the base of the cross through the top of the demon’s skull with a *SHUUK*. The demon’s teeth shatter as it head is driven to the ground. Grimly, Buffy pulls the cross back up toward her shoulder, staring down at the demon.

BUFFY: Might wanna start.

We see a view from the ceiling. Leah is watching as Buffy gently sets the cross aside against a stone column. The other Slayers are surveying the three demons and the human bodies.

LEAH: That were a wee bit repulsive.

BUFFY: Went okay. ‘Cept I feel a little weird about using a crucifix to kill someone.

LEAH: Yeh dinno much about religion, do yeh?

SATSU: (looking at one of the men’s bodies) Ma’am? What is that?

Buffy joins her and they stare down at the man’s chest.

SATSU: On his chest.

We see a symbol has been carved into the man’s chest. It is made up of a straight horizontal line, an intersecting semi-circle above it, and a four pointed diamond about and left of the shape.

BUFFY: This isn’t recent.

SATSU: They were hostage for a time?

BUFFY: Satsu, zoom in. Xander, send this to Records. Copy Giles on it.

XANDER: (through the radio) Gotchya.

Rowena, Leah, and Satsu watch as Buffy walks toward the wall, apparently inspecting a container.

ROWENA: Vhat are you thinkink?

BUFFY: Self-inflicted. I don’t think these are random victims.

The image moves over to Buffy, who is lifting the rifle she has found out of the container. It appears to be an M-16. She hefts it as though familiar with it, and looks at it with concern.

BUFFY: I think these boys were looking for a fight.

In a wider view, the Slayers are still studying the room for more clues or equipment. Rowena pulls a tarp off of a machine on the floor, calling over to Buffy.

ROWENA: I tink ta forcefield was deirs, too.

UNNAMED SLAYER: So they wanted to be alone with those things? That doesn’t add up.

The image gradually begins pulling away through a shattered stain glass window. The Slayers have assembled around their leader, who speaks with her hands upturned as if teaching.

BUFFY: This is all bad math. But that symbol…

We see the group from even further above the castle.

BUFFY: That’s gonna clear it up.

The view pulls away even further. We can see almost the whole castle. Surprisingly, at least a hundred feet in the air, we see a pair of dark boots, dark pants, and the tail of either a dark cape or coat, as if of someone hovering high in the sky surveying the scene.

BUFFY: That’s gonna tell us what those guys are part of.

The next seen is very bright. A helicopter is coming out of view from the shining sun, cloud tops seen below it. One of the passengers is speaking.

PASSENGER: An army.

We see the inside of the helicopter. Behind the two pilots, we see into the passenger cabin of a military helicopter. The original speaker is a man in uniform, GENERAL VOLL, sitting with arms crossed and looking angry or impatient, probably both. Another passenger is with him, a MAN IN A BROWN SUIT with a briefcase held against his chest on his lap.

MAN IN SUIT: You don’t think that’s overstating it, General Voll? Our intel says they’re too loosely affiliated to… I mean, they’re scattered in those –

VOLL: “Squads,” right. Terrorists call ‘em “cells.”

General Voll shoves his finger into his fellow passenger’s face as he continues to speak. Or rant.

VOLL: We go ahead with this, we gotta be together on exactly what we’re facing. And that’s an army. They got power. They got resources. And they got a hard-line ideology that does not jibe with American interests.

We get close enough to Voll’s face to see he wrinkles around his eyes, and his expression is very angry.

VOLL: Worst of all, they got a leader. Charismatic, uncompromising, and completely destructive.

Voll turns and looks out the window of the helicopter to support his next statement.

VOLL: I mean, for the love of God…

A stunning image appears before us as the view reverses. The helicopter is flying over a large crater than can only be Sunnydale.

VOLL: … look what she did to her hometown.

On the ground, a tent is set up on a two lane road with a humvee parked next to it. Guards stand outside it, and inside, men at computer stations are visible. It could even be the same road where the bus stopped in “Chosen”

RESEARCHER: We have you at sixty feet under.

Inside the tent, there are three men monitoring equipment, two in uniform, and the man who is speaking, wearing a shirt and tie.

RESEARCHER: You must be picking up some traces.

The view shifts to the surface of the crater. Despite some debris and a wrecked car visible, the surface appears to have grown smooth over the time since it’s collapsed. Three people in environmental suits are standing together over a hole that appears to have been bored deeper into the crater, below the surface of the rubble. There is a winch over it of the sort used to lower men into caverns or utility tunnels. A voice coming through a radio headset is heard belonging to a man lowered on the winch.

SPELUNKER: That’s a negative, sir, unless you count the willies…

The owner of the voice, also in an environment suit, is in a cavern opened up below. There is also visible debris here: bricks, a fire hydrant, a stove.

SPELUNKER: It’s like a museum down here. But no bodies, and no mystical reading.

From the shadows, two hands are reaching for the spelunking researcher, whose back is turned.

SPELUNKER: I’m all alone down here.

He turns, as if hearing something, but much too late to avoid whatever is charging him. With an *AAAAAAHHH*, the men in the tent at the side of the crater remove their headsets in surprise.

The next image is the symbol the Slayer team found in the castle. It is projected on a black screen. A voice that is revealed to be Buffy’s asks a decent question.

BUFFY: So what’s it all mean?

The view reverses and we see that Buffy and Xander are alone in a study, with the image projected in front of them. Buffy is sitting on the end of a conference table, contentedly eating a sandwich, while Xander sits along the side, his legs tossed casually up on the table.

XANDER: Nothing from the experts, but I’ve been studying it for a while.

BUFFY: And?

XANDER: I think it’s a frown turned upside down. And then turned upside down again.

BUFFY: So you think it’s a frown?

XANDER: Guy with a monocle frowning.

BUFFY: You’re a terrible Watcher.

XANDER: I’m not a Watcher.

BUFFY: Well, clearly.

Buffy gets up and walks over to the projected image, peering at it curiously. Xander stands up behind her, ready to change the topic.

XANDER: Don’t call me a Watcher. And you need to talk to Dawn.

BUFFY: (ignoring him) I think it’s a beautiful sunset.

XANDER: Seriously, you gotta see Dawn.

Buffy looks back over her shoulder at him, looking sad and a little weary.

BUFFY: She’s just gonna whine.

XANDER: She’s got a lot to whine about.

BUFFY: There’s nothing I can do till we find Willow.

Xander looks at her earnestly, and perhaps with admonishment.

XANDER: You could be her sister.

Buffy is next seen stepping through a door, some time after talking to Xander.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Xander is so stupid when he’s right. But all Dawn does lately is talk about her problems. Which admittedly…

As Buffy steps through the door, she is in a large chamber of their base, which appears to be a castle. A stairwell wraps around the edge of the room. There are open portals in the ceiling, and it’s hard to tell if it’s a disused part of the castle, or meant to be a nursery or something else. Sitting in the middle of the room is DAWN. And she’s a giant. She literally fills the room sitting against one wall. She has a sad and lonely expression.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: … have gotten bigger.

BUFFY: Thought I’d come see you.

DAWN: ‘Cause Xander made you?

BUFFY: What are you talking about?

DAWN: (ignoring the question) Has Willow called?

BUFFY: I’m sure she will soon… but if you told me about it, I could at least get some of the apprentice witches…

DAWN: I’m not talking to you about it.

BUFFY: But you’ll talk to Willow.

DAWN: Willow understands. She taught me a lot, especially when you were dead.
BUFFY: Taught you a lot of what?

Throughout this scene, Buffy is shown in several positions on the stairs around Dawn to indicate the passage of time. She and Dawn talk for at least a while, because when they resume speaking, Buffy has gotten comfortable, lying on her back on the landing of the stairs, looking at Dawn upside down.

DAWN: … because you act like it’s my fault.

BUFFY: You were dating a thricewise.

DAWN: Kenny never said he was a thricewise!

BUFFY: I said he was a thricewise. Leah said he was a thricewise. Giles said he was a thricewise and he only ever met him on the phone!

Some time later again, Buffy is at the top of the stairs, about to leave Dawn’s room.

BUFFY: You should get out, run around on the moor.

DAWN: It’s frickin’ freezing! Why do we have to be in Scotland?

BUFFY: You don’t have to be in Scotland. You have to be at Berkeley.

DAWN: Believe me, as soon as I’m person-sized, I’m out of here.

BUFFY: I got things to do.

As Buffy steps out of Dawn’s room onto a circular stair going up, Dawn glares at her. Buffy glares over her shoulder right back.

DAWN: I could swat you like a flea.

BUFFY: Your butt looks big in those giant pants.

Buffy begins climbing the circular stairs away from Dawn’s closed door.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: How does that happen? How do we turn into twelve-year-olds all of a sudden every time we talk? Face it, we haven’t gotten along since…

Buffy steps outside. Her face looks very sad as she stares out at the world around her.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: … since we changed the world.

The view becomes very wide, and we finally see Buffy and her friend’s new home. The castle sits high on a cliff side, and the view of the mountainous Scottish terrain is amazing. It appears to be sunset.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: I miss my home.

Buffy’s face turns toward us, looking as lonely as Dawn’s did.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: I miss my mom.

Buffy’s face turns down in profile as her thoughts wander.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: I miss the gang. And churros. And sex. Great, muppety Odin, I miss that sex.

Buffy’s face grows annoyed or angry as she loses her train of thought.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Ooh! I just *know* Dawn had sex with that Kenny and won’t say anything to me – but she’ll tell Willow. Fine, her first time and it all goes wrong with I’m *totally* well versed in and anyhow Willow’s the expert on boys since *when* now?

Buffy reaches a hand to her forehead in frustration. She looks exhausted.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Outstanding. I can’t even feel *sorry* for myself in a linear fashion. Suck it up, Summers.

Buffy sits with her legs hanging of the side of the castle wall. She is visible in silhouette.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: You’re a big girl now.

Halfway around the world, General Voll eyes are looking appalled through the slot in a metal door.

VOLL: (whispering) Lord.

Voll jumps back from the door, disgusted. He is in a hallway of what appears to be a laboratory or medical center. With him are the man in the brown suit and a doctor in a labcoat. He is looking at something we can’t see in a room or cell and doesn’t like it at all.

VOLL: How it that thing alive?

DOCTOR: Well, magic. Obviously.

The three men leave the door and walk down the hallway. Other doors like that one are visible, as well as a nurse’s station.

DOCTOR: We believe Subject One was keeping him alive. Keeping both of them alive, after the decimation.

VOLL: But… I mean, did they eat? What did they eat?

DOCTOR: Best guess? (stopping and looking at General Voll) Whoever else was trapped in there.

Voll doesn’t enjoy the thought, and rubs his forehead under his hat.

VOLL: Insane. At least tell me they had the decency to go insane.

The doctor is moving toward a different cell as he responds to Voll.

DOCTOR: Unstable, but surprisingly coherent. Subject One is the more vocal right now. Once our man underground got over his girly screaming fit, he told us her first words. (peers into the new door) “I’m gonna help you kill her.”

Voll is very upset that that news, and begins waving his finger around.

VOLL: Who compromised our intel –

DOCTOR: Magic, General. You still have to learn the rules.

VOLL: There aren’t any goddamn rules.

DOCTOR: That’s sort of what I meant.

Voll marches over to the door himself, ready to look in at Subject One. The man in the brown suit turns to the doctor with a question.

MAN IN SUIT: Do you think she *can* help us?

VOLL: What does she want?

DOCTOR: Access to all our magical hardware. A weapons lab for her “boyfriend.”

VOLL: You can’t mean they –

DOCTOR: Try not to picture it. Also release and full immunity if they succeed in taking Buffy Summers down. And, well… she wants a lot of cheese.

VOLL: (staring into the cell) Cheese. Of course. We got a name on this nut job?

Inside the cell, a young woman is kneeling in a padded room. Her hair is unkempt, she’s wearing only a hospital gown, and is covered in bandages. In her hand, a green ball of magical energy is glowing as she stares at it, with a crazy smile on her lips.

DOCTOR: Amy. She says her name is Amy.

End of Issue #1

[KingofCretins]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight, Issue #2
“The Long Way Home, Part II”

Prologue Summary: This story takes place after the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Seven.

The Slayer population of the world has gone from two to nearly two thousand. Almost five hundred are working around the world with Buffy’s organization in squads – or “terrorist cells,” according to the American military. Buffy, Xander, Dawn, and a passel of Slayers are currently bunked out in a Scottish castle, where the latest mission revealed a strange symbol carved into human bodies.

Also, Dawn’s a giant.

Start of Issue #2

The opening image is a hot cup of tea sitting on a napkin, beside a book. Beyond it are windows, looking into a courtyard.

(NARRATION) GILES: I used to be a Watcher.

In the courtyard, dozens of Slayers are fighting in chaos. Some are wearing black ninja masks, probably to separate them into teams. But there is clearly no sense of “sides” in this fight, just violence in every direction.

(NARRATION) GILES: The organization existed since before there were cities. The Watcher’s Council, always moving, always secret, but very much alive. There were hundreds of Watchers. And one Slayer.

Giles is seen standing in a balcony, holding his tea. He is dressed in slacks, an open necked shirt and a sweater. He’s been watching the fighting below.

GILES: Enough.

The Slayers all stop and look up at him. Clearly, he’s there as an instructor, and they stare up at him as if awaiting harsh criticism.

(NARRATION) GILES: Scales have tipped of late.

Giles is sipping his tea as he begins to review what he’s seen.

GILES: I see some superior fighting out there. Technique and power that might just give Buffy Summers herself a run for her money. Impressive force. It is, of course, useless.

Giles stares down at the young women, who look up at him in confusion.

GILES: You’re all fighting alone. Getting in each other’s way, not protecting each other’s flanks… failing to use your single most valuable asset…

A voice comes from behind the group of Slayers, the voice of their leader, picking up where her mentor left off.

BUFFY: … each other. One Slayer fighting alone is formidable. Two is formidabler. Or… three? Mega-formidable. And after mega, it goes to mondo, then super, hyper, beaucoup d’crazy, stupid… it gets *exponentially* prefixy.

Buffy and the Slayers closest to her are all armed with bokken, wooden practice swords. The three Slayers that accompanied Buffy on her most recent mission are all staring at her. Buffy is looking at them with complete confidence and anticipation.

BUFFY: Leah. Satsu. Rowena. Would the three of you please kick my ass?

The three Slayers jump into action and Buffy engages them. Buffy jumps forward and plants her foot in Satsu’s face, knocking her to the ground. She managed to dodge attacks from Leah and Rowena, sweeping Rowena’s surprised legs out from under her. In a moment, the three students are all at their teacher’s feet. Buffy has the blade of her practice weapon pointed at Leah’s throat.

BUFFY: So. Three perfectly valid avenues of attack, good form – on three seasoned, well-trained *corpses*, one of whom, sidebar, has her best hair ever. Satsu, you’re making me think I need a new look. See me after.

Buffy relaxes, letting the three Slayers gather themselves and their pride, and smiles.

BUFFY: So, let’s break this down. The first clue this was going downhill? Clearly…

And the image changes to from Buffy to Andrew.

ANDREW: … Lando Calrissian’s outfit. And I know a lot of you were gonna say Ewoks, but that’s too easy.

Andrew is sitting in a large ring of Slayers outside an Italian homestead at night. There are lanterns all around them. The scene suggests that they are having some kind of class or group-building session. Andrew continues his lecture.

ANDREW: I love Empire. Of course I love Empire, let’s not waste time questioning my loyalties, but the moment I saw Billy D. in the hizzy I smelled the troubles. I mean it’s great that George Lucas wanted to have an African-Bespinian character in the mix, but then he shows up with the cape and the little bellbottoms and I’m thinking, “oh, he’s gonna help Han and Chewie just as soon as he finishes the magic show for the kids’ birthday party,” I mean, knock knock, common sense trying to get in, door’s locked, I’ll buy a race of teddy bears with unstoppable tree-trunk technology any day over that outfit on a *leader*. *That* outfit gets you but up, is what. Especially at a… pep rally in junior high where you were supposed to be dressed as a cougar. (quietly) From a friend, I heard that.
The Slayers look at him in stupefied amazement. One of them is wearing a brass key as an earring.

ANDREW: So. Does that answer your question?

SLAYER: No.

ANDREW: ‘Kay. What, uh, was it again?

Another Slayer chimes in. She has a purple mo-hawk and sunglasses on her forehead.

PUNK SLAYER: Weapons.

ANDREW: Right, weapons.

PUNK SLAYER: How come we have to use all this medieval junk? We could totally get some *guns*, do some real damage. We’re fighting demons here! Let’s up the ante!

Andrew puts his hand on his forehead, exasperated at this Slayers enthusiasm.

ANDREW: You didn’t listen to a word I said, did you?

PUNK SLAYER: About Lando Calrissian?

ANDREW: No Slayer carries a gun. Ever, end of talk, good talk.

Andrew spreads his hands as he stands in the circle, ready to begin teaching again.

ANDREW: ‘Kay. Let’s start up with headbutts, shall we? Some do’s and don’ts.

Back in Scotland, in a forest, Dawn is taking a bath in a small pond. Her jeans are laid out over a tree top. Xander is with her, seated politely behind some brush so they can talk without him being able to see Giant Naked Dawn.

XANDER: That’s overstating it, don’t you think?

DAWN: I’m a giant. Everything I state is over.

XANDER: She doesn’t hate you.

DAWN: She does. She hates me.

XANDER: I say thee nay.

DAWN: Fine, nay. Buffy doesn’t hate me.

As Dawn stops scrubbing herself for a moment, her eyes turn down sadly.

DAWN: She just wishes I’d go away.

Xander, facing away from her still, tries to reassure her.

XANDER: She wishes you were at Berkeley getting an education in something other than stomping villagers, yeah. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t like having you around.

DAWN: All she does is yell at me.

XANDER: And you, what, recite sonnets? Sisters fight. It’s a rule.

Dawn begins rinsing off, splashing water on her face.

DAWN: What do you know? You don’t have a sister.

XANDER: Have you seen this place? I got *all* my sisters ‘n’ me!

DAWN: Right. Buffy and all her new and improved Slayer sisters.

Hearing this, Xander turns his head toward her cautiously. When he speaks, she stares back at him in shock.

XANDER: Dawnie… don’t roar a giant roar, but… did you make yourself big on purpose?

Xander doesn’t get an answer. Instead, he gets drenched with a *SPLOOOSH* as Dawn splashes water on him. Chagrined and damp, Xander turns back toward her.

XANDER: You know, I only have two of these outfits.

Elsewhere, the sun is at the horizon in front of a building in the desert. There is a sign saying “Drextalcorp Recycling Technologies.” The man in the brown suit and General Voll are heard speaking from inside the building.

MAN IN SUIT: We have insertion, sir. Our op should be in and out by tonight.

VOLL: should.

In a closer view, Voll points his finger at the man in the brown suit, clearly annoyed with indefinite answers. The inside of the building also has the “Drextalcorp” name.

VOLL: You know how much good “should” does me?

MAN IN SUIT: You’re gonna say “not much.”

The two men enter an elevator, like something from “Men In Black” that descends into a deep bunker filled with military equipment, including tanks. “DrextalCorp” is a cover for a military installation, much like the Initiative was hidden beneath UC-Sunnydale.

VOLL: I’m gonna say a good goddamn deal more than that. If we have coordinates on that bitch we should nuke the damn site.

MAN IN SUIT: Yeah, okay. That’s gonna get us noticed. Then indicted, then hung.

VOLL: hanged.

MAN IN SUIT: Neither really works for me.

In the still descending elevator, Voll continues to point his finger in the man’s face.

VOLL: I don’t expect a suit like you to have that kind of commitment –

MAN IN SUIT: What if it doesn’t work?

Finally, the two step off the elevator into a hallway and begin walking toward a door.

VOLL: There is no problem so big or complicated that it can’t be blown up. That’s not a saying we share with the public, but…

MAN IN SUIT: (interrupting) We’re dealing with magic. Leave that to the magicians, okay? Working with Amy – the op – is the best way to go right now.

VOLL: And if she blows it? We send that monstrosity she calls a boyfriend in next?

MAN IN SUIT: That thing really is gross. And, yes, I think we do.

Voll turns away from him, entering the door they’ve stopped at. It’s Voll’s quarters at whatever their base is.

VOLL: I’m gonna get some shut-eye. Wake me with a report. Let’s hope it’s a good one.

Once inside, Voll takes off his hat.

VOLL: suit.

(NARRATION) VOLL: Just a suit, walks and talks, has by chance a man in it.

Voll begins removing his uniform shirt. On his dresser, he has a model bi-plane.

(NARRATION) VOLL: Got no idea what’s at stake here.

A close-up of Voll’s chest reveals that he has the same symbol on his chest that the dead men in Issue #1 did.

(NARRATION) VOLL: No idea at all.

Back in Scotland, in the castle, Xander and Buffy are walking down the hall together.

BUFFY: You’re saying you think she became a giant to get my attention?

XANDER: Maybe not consciously, but given her tsunamic reaction, I’d say I struck a nerve.

BUFFY: But that’s so… *literal*

We see them more closely as they carry on the topic. Buffy is reaching behind her head as if tired or uncomfortable.

XANDER: Not subtle, no, but: giant. Point being, Dawn’s abandonment issues have abandonment issues: your mom, Tara, you – twice – plus the fact that she knows she was actually constructed by monks who… (pauses) she’s not real.

The two stop in front of a doorway and face each other. Buffy’s arms are crossed in front of her, Xander’s hands are in his pocket. It appears to be Buffy’s door.

BUFFY: She’s my sister. I’ve never told her anything else.

XANDER: You made several thousand girls into Slayers. And moved in with them.

Buffy looks more uncomfortable, fingering the hair behind her ear as Xander continues.

XANDER: I’m not saying on purpose, I’m saying maybe this thricewise she was dating, this feminine-hygiene-product *Kenny*, put a whammy on her that manifested her internal blah de blah.

BUFFY: And once again, sports fans, it’s all my fault.

XANDER: Oh, don’t go there. There *smells* of you, you’ve been there so often. With the guilt, and –

Buffy’s eyes look up at Xander’s searchingly as she interrupts him.

BUFFY: I’m sorry. I’m tired. Just tell me now, so we don’t have to do a whole awkward-dance… are you coming to bed?

Even as Xander answers, Buffy is taking him by the hand and pulling him into her room, starting to smile.

XANDER: Buffy, we both know what a horrible mistake that is.

BUFFY: I’ll be gentle this time. I can be gentle.

Buffy no sooner has him in the room and the door closed before she cuts off any interruption – Xander can only give a *BUHMMMNNNNMMM!* -- by leaning in and kissing him. She is still kissing him when his head pops cleanly off his shoulders in surprise.

BUFFY: Ooh!

Xander’s head bounces away like it’s made of rubber as Buffy looks past his still standing body. This is clearly a dream sequence at this point, and the realism it started in is coming apart.

XANDER: So, gentle.

BUFFY: Oh, *balls*.

Suddenly the glass breaks in the window Buffy is standing in front of, and a wind appears to start pulling her out the window.

BUFFY: No, no, I can’t go outside, I’m afraid of the dark.

XANDER: Buffy, you *are* the dark.

Flying out the window, Buffy answers Xander’s head as his body still stands in the room.

BUFFY: That’s what I meant.

XANDER: This lint is so Scottish.

Buffy is ripped backward all the way out of the castle wall, the sky red behind her.

BUFFY: I make a wish that I don’t fall, I make a wish that I don’t fall –

Suddenly, Buffy finds her hands and feet impaled on claws, bleeding horribly.

BUFFY: AGGH! New wish! New wish!

Still held spread-eagled on the claw, Buffy is raised up in front of the mouth of a dragon, its mouth open and flaming.

BUFFY: I know you…

DRAGON: Yesss… ssscream…

The dragon shoots fire from its mouth that engulf Buffy’s dream self and burn her with an *AAAAIIIEEEE* scream.

The next image is of Buffy in her bed. She is writhing in pain but still asleep, and the bedposts have wrapped around her wrists and ankles. Amy is standing above her, healed and dressed in a tan jacket, grinning viciously. She is holding a dagger and ready to stab down with it. The dragon’s voice was Amy’s voice, and she continues speaking.

AMY: … I couldn’t bear it if this was painless.

Amy jumps in surprise as the door to Buffy’s room bursts open with a *WHAAAM!* When the image turns, Xander is standing in Buffy’s door, dressed in ducky pajamas (blue on yellow) and holding a crossbow. He had four Slayers with him, all in various states of undress and all looking very angry.

XANDER: Amy. Long time, no desire whatsoever to see.

Amy is still standing over Buffy, her face appearing to be afraid.

AMY: Wait. Wait. We can talk about this. After.

Amy stabs down with the knife. The next image is Xander and the Slayers looking horrified as Buffy lets out a scream in her sleep of *NNNAAHH!* Xander wastes no time and fires a crossbow bolt into Amy’s shoulder. Amy lets out a scream of *AGH!* as the bolt strikes with a *THOOK*

Two Slayers leap into action, jumping across the room as Xander runs forward with alarm to grab the dagger that appears to be sticking out of Buffy.

XANDER: Oh my God.

Xander pulls the dagger up. The blade is split four ways, clearly never having touched Buffy.

XANDER: This is the crappiest sacrificial dagger I’ve ever seen.

Amy knocks the two Slayers away from her with bolts of magical energy, and is clearly indignant at what Xander says.

AMY: *What*?

As Amy magically removes the crossbow bolt and heals her wound, Xander and the Slayers regroup in the doorway.

XANDER: You really think we let Buffy sleep without mystical protection? This isn’t open-wand night in Sunnydale, sweetcheeks. You’re dealing with pros.

In close-up, Amy’s face is both amused and vicious. She takes obvious pleasure in spelling out that her dagger had worked exactly as it was intended.

AMY: Any of you *pros* notice she’s still asleep? She’s living a nightmare, genius, and the only thing that can wake her up…

The image changes to Buffy’s face, still asleep, and still in pain.

AMY: … is the kiss of true love.

Xander and the four Slayers with him look completely dumbfounded by the news.

XANDER: seriously?

Outside the castle, Renee and another Slayer are standing watch on the rampart. Renee is armed with a crossbow, her partner has a large ax. Renee is waving her free hand dismissively at the other Slayer.

RENEE: Please. There’s no love.

SLAYER: No, right, of course, the sudden interest in comic books, James Bond movies, and *drywalling* has absolutely nothing to do with Mr. Harris.

While her friend continues, Renee’s face reacts to something she is hearing.

SLAYER: I’m not even bringing up volunteering us for the frickin’ graveyard shift, ‘cause that’s –

RENEE: You hear that?

The two Slayers lean over the rampart to investigate the new sound.

SLAYER: Sounds like… clawing?

The image changes to reveal that it is exactly that. An army of Scottish zombies were scaling the castle wall toward them. Dozens were already on the wall, with more in the bog below..

Back inside Buffy’s room, Xander and Amy are standing on opposite sides of Buffy’s bed, discussing the particulars of Amy’s spell. In any other context, it would look like they were having a civil conversation.

XANDER: So this doesn’t have to be someone she’s in love with.

AMY: No, I said. Just someone truly in love with her.

XANDER: But not friend-love.

AMY: Right. Someone who wants to kiss her, like, they’re passionate about her.

XANDER: And not a sister.

AMY: Well, a *twisted* sister…

XANDER: HA! But no, I hate you.

From behind Xander, the door to Buffy’s room burst opens, as a dark-haired Slayer bursts in.

SLAYER: We’re under attack! Full breach on the east wall!

Xander and Amy both stay faced-off over Buffy’s bed.

XANDER: Who’s breaching?

SLAYER: Living dead, sir.

XANDER: Man, Amy, you’re doing all the classics tonight.

Xander turns back to the Slayers in the room, including Buffy’s “A” team of Leah, Satsu, and Rowena. Amy, looking smug, stands off to the side.

XANDER: I need you three in the field.

LEAH: What about th’bitch a’ the west here?

XANDER: She’s bound by our security or she’d’ve bailed by now.

Xander is in command mode now, and turns to the Slayer who came in to tell him about the attack. He points to Amy as he speaks.

XANDER: Keep a guard on her and get our witches working on this “true love” crap.

AMY: It’s real, Xander. Your star player’s out unless she receives a kiss from someone passionately devoted to her.

Xander’s good eye looks angry in close-up as Amy goes on.

AMY: Care to give it a whirl?

Outside the castle, Slayers and zombies are fighting furiously. It looks as chaotic as the training session with Giles, but now it’s deadly serious.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Stop it.

A sword-wielding zombie stabs Renee in the back. Her face twists in pain as she falls.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Please… it hurts too much…

Buffy, in her dream, is huddled on a non-existent floor, apparently crying. Her eyes look hopeless when a voice calls out to her.

DREAM MAN: You can’t give up that easily, Buffy...

The Dream Man appears in front of Buffy, but is only visible from the neck down. He is thin and clad in a red shirt and black trenchcoat. He reaches out his hand to her as he talks.

DREAM MAN: … I have so much I need to show you… my love…

Back in reality, in the fight outside the castle, Satsu is fighting and calling Xander with a report.

SATSU: “Kill the head” isn’t working! They’re not even slowing down!

In the control room, Xander stares at the monitor and holds his hand to his head. He looks completely out of ideas as Satsu’s voice comes through the radio.

SATSU: Orders, sir? Orders?

In Buffy’s room, Amy ignores her guard completely and prepares to leave the castle. She sits in the window, preparing to turn out, but not before stopping to taunt the Slayers that can hear her.

AMY: All that time underground with nothing to do but get stronger. A hundred Slayers and there’s not one person here who can take me on.

In the next image, however, Amy’s eyes widen in what is either surprise or abject terror. An all too familiar voice calls out to her.

WILLOW: As a friend of mine once said…

And Willow is there, floating gracefully outside the window facing Amy. She’s wearing a flowing and folksy green and brown dress much like what Tara might have worn. Her arms are crossed maternally as she coolly stares down her old classmate and pet.

WILLOW: … I’d like to test that theory.

End of Issue #2

[KingofCretins]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight, Issue #3
“The Long Way Home, Part III”

Prologue Summary: This story takes place after the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Seven.

The Slayer population of the world has gone from two to nearly two thousand. Almost five hundred are working around the world with Buffy’s organization in squads – or “terrorist cells,” according to the American military. Buffy, Xander, Dawn, and a passel of Slayers are currently bunked out in a Scottish castle, where the latest mission revealed a strange symbol carved into human bodies.

Also, Dawn’s a giant.

Start of Issue #3

The opening image is of Buffy’s “Dream Man” from Issue #2, still only shown from the neck down, and still reaching for her. He is standing in an empty space represented as a black and red blur.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: “My Love.” He called me “my love.”

When we see Buffy’s face, she is wide-eyed and staring. Her hand comes up to cover her mouth with surprise and, apparently, indigestion.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: And then I threw up in my mouth a little.

BUFFY: Ethan Rayne?

As she says it, we see the man himself, smiling back at her.

ETHAN: In the flesh, my love.

The next image is Buffy, standing and holding the back of her head with one hand, the other hand palm-out toward Ethan in disagreement. The two of them are alone in a black space now.

BUFFY: And again, a slight barflex. You *have* to stop calling me that.

ETHAN: It’s an expression, pet. Like “pet.”

BUFFY: Also not okay. How did you get in my dream?

From above, we see Buffy grab Ethan by the shoulder as he chooses not to answer. Buffy is definitely upset and confused that he’s here, and Ethan is nonchalant.

ETHAN: We haven’t oodles of time.

BUFFY: You’re a chaos-worshiping wannabe sorcerer who takes up none count it *none* of my subconscious. Which means you *forced* your way into my dream.

ETHAN: I just hitched a ride. And we’re not in your dream. We’re in your *dreamspace*

Buffy lowers her head and closes her eyes, apparently already tired of this new development. She puts her right hand up to her brow as if fighting off a mild headache as she asks.

BUFFY: Splainy. Dreamspace?

The view turns back to Ethan. He is digging his fingers into the blackness around them and pulling part of it back like it was a curtain. Where the opening is appearing, blinding white light is pouring out.

ETHAN: In brief. You are always dreaming every dream all the time. Even when you’re awake, a part of your brain is stirring that brew. Which one you choose to remember in the morning is based on your wishes, anxieties – in your case, your collective Slayer memory and prophecies are mixed in as well. It’s a vast and fascinating place. Everywhere you turn, a part of you.

As Ethan speaks, Buffy takes his invitation and we see a close-up of her eyes as she looks behind the “curtain” Ethan has opened. She is squinting and shielding her brow with her hand to look.

ETHAN: Want to see one?

The next image is huge and detailed. In the background, there is a magenta colored mountain, a volcano, and it’s erupting high into the sky. Around the mountain, two trains are chugging up the hill, apparently about to collide in a tunnel through the mountain. In the foreground, three smiling cherubs are watching the center of the scene, and open white flowers are open as wooden stakes dangle in mid-air over them, as if about to stab into them.

The center of the image is the most stunning. In the dream Buffy is being shown, she is dressed in a short, white nurse’s outfit, like a sex costume, complete with black garter, stockings and little cap. She even has a “Buffy” name tag. On either side of her, Angel and Spike are caressing her, both clearly naked. Buffy has an arm hooked through Angel’s own arm and has turned her hips toward him. Behind her, she has her other arm reaching up around Spike’s neck as he reaches toward the hem of her skirt. All three of them are wrapped around the chest and waist with heavy chains that also serve to conceal Angel and Spike from showing too much. Buffy’s eyes are closed in the highly erotic scene.
Just as suddenly, the new image is of the actual Buffy in this dreamspace frantically pulling the “curtain” shut in embarrassment.

BUFFY: Gak! Neh! Ho. No. That’s nothing… worth…

Buffy is standing protectively in front of the curtain holding it closed, but even as she continues speaking, Ethan is walking away from her. He either wasn’t impressed or has already lost any interest in Buffy’s fantasy. He may not have even seen it.

BUFFY: It’s just… ah, been a slow year…

ETHAN: (over his shoulder) You’ve been trapped in this space. Not by me. But we’ve got to move fast if you’re going to be any help on the outside.

Alone in the image, Buffy turns back over her shoulder, looking upward with concern.

BUFFY: What’s going on outside?

The next image shown is outside, high above the castle were we can see the Slayer vs. zombie battle still raging both on the castle walls and on the ground below. In mid-air, however, Willow and Amy are faced off in a flying, magical duel. The energy flowing around Willow is green and cloud-like and she fires energy at Amy. Amy counters it with her own power and neither gains an advantage. Amy’s own magic is represented as angular blue-white geometric shapes. Both women wear determined expressions, although Amy looks like she’s enjoying this fight most.

AMY: Oh, man, this craft is *weak*. Didn’t you almost destroy the world one time?

Amy lashes out in front of her with magic energy trailing from her hand. She is gaining an advantage on Willow and continues to taunt her.

AMY: Now you can’t even put up a fight!

Amy’s hands glow in white balls and she prepares to bombard Willow, who appears unguarded at the moment.

AMY: What happened?

Willow is shown facing Amy impassively. Amy’s most recent attack appears to be small black scarab-like bugs that are slowly covering Willow up, her chest, then over her hair, and then over her face as the image pushes in toward Willow’s eyes. Willow looks almost a little sad to be in this situation.

WILLOW: I saw the big picture. But, you, Amy… you’re as self-involved as your mom was. You think I’m fighting you. I’m just absorbing your mojo. So I can decode it.

And in the next image, Willow is no longer impassive. With exertion that shows on her face, Willow lashes out with power. Shockwaves are seen coming away from her and she rockets further into the sky. The black bugs were either destroyed or scattered out of sight.

On the ground, a zombie is preparing to swing its sword at an un-armed Slayer, probably a killing blow. We see the green shockwaves of Willow’s spell reaching the ground at that moment, hitting all the zombies we can see.

In the next image, the zombie which had been ready to attack has dropped its sword. Instead, it’s reaching a hand out to the Slayer it was about to attack. The Slayer looks very confused as the other zombies that can be seen all do the same.

ZOMBIE: May I have this dance?

Back in the control room, Xander is pointing at the monitors with both arms like a showman. The Slayers in the room and he can see in the monitors that all the zombies are now apparently trying to court the Slayers they had previously been fighting. It’s the beginning of a Zombie Ball. Incidentally, Xander has somehow managed to change into his more customary black and grey outfit and out of his ducky pajamas.

XANDER: Ladies, and other ladies… the indescribable Rosenberg.

Back in the sky above the castle, though, Willow and Amy are still fighting. A green and white glow surges around Willow as we see her approaching/

WILLOW: The army was the pressing issue. Light show’s a distraction.

The image switches to Amy, who is summoning a small ball of energy in front of her.

AMY: So’s the army.

In the next image, we see Willow blown backward by Amy’s attack, looking alarmed. The blue-white energy around Willow is shown as something almost like digital distortion.

Back in the dreamspace, Buffy is apparently on her back, staring incredulously around her as she hears a dream version of herself speaking.

DREAM BUFFY: You’re lying. That can’t be happening!

We see the real Buffy tumbling helplessly downward through space, while Ethan falls as though he has jumped. In the background, a red-hued image of a much younger Dream Buffy is standing walking through school, past lockers. On either side of her are a boy and a girl, although it may not be Willow and Xander. This dream may be from all the way back at Hemery High.
DREAM BUFFY: But I finished school? Why do I have to take French again?

DREAM BOY: Exams are today.

BUFFY: (to Ethan) Oh! I always have this one! Can we stop and delete this one?

ETHAN: I told you, lamb: time is a factor.

We are shown a much wider look at the dreamspace that Buffy and Ethan are falling through. Buffy is still tumbling, Ethan still dropping gracefully as though he’s much more used to this experience. In the background are countless “dream-cubes”, representing dreams Buffy has stored in her. A brief survey of these and we can see old enemies: Caleb, the Master, the Judge. We see images of her friends: at graduation, the group apparently having taken a picture together some time after “Chosen”. There are also other moments: Buffy and Angel facing each other. Buffy’s mother as she found her on the couch. The First Slayer. A notebook that says “Buffy & Angel 4 ever”. There is even an image that looks suspiciously like Joss, tucked in amongst images of Dawn, Faith, and non-descript others.

ETHAN: Your enemy’s opened her flank a bit. Interfering with someone’s dreamstate means attaching a bit of one’s own.

In the next image, Buffy and Ethan appear to land and there are no longer any “dream-cubes”. Buffy lands almost on her head while Ethan lands smoothly in a crouch.

ETHAN: There’s a memory here we need.

Back outside, Willow is still covered in the digital distortion representing Amy’s magical attack. Willow’s face is growing from alarmed to angry. In a closer look at Willow’s eyes, they have turned black. Small veins are showing around her face.

In the next image, Willow looks furious, and her face is definitely the face of “DarkWillow.” Her hair has even started darkening. With a *WWHHMMP* She claps her hands together in front of her, magical power exploding out as she does.

We see Amy reacting to this. She has drawn up her arm and leg defensively from the attack, but she’s smiling and clearly not harmed by it.

AMY: Now you’re starting to make this interesting. What else you got?

The image turns to Xander’s face inside the control room. He is holding a hand up near his blue-tooth earpiece as if talking to someone.

XANDER: Say it with me now: Fe Fi Fo…

And outside, we see Dawn towering over Amy. Dawn’s face is grinning and mean, and her sneaker is already hovering over Amy as the witch turns up in fear.

DAWN: … f%$#king fum.

With a *SMLOOOSH*, Amy is driven into the muddy ground outside the castle, her hand the only thing visible from under Dawn’s foot.

The battle won for the moment, Willow floats up near Dawn’s head, magic shown coming from her hands as though working on something. Dawn looks much calmer as she looks down at what Willow is doing.

WILLOW: Language, sweetie. How come you’re a giant?

DAWN: We totally have to talk. Are you evil again?

WILLOW: It’ll fade.

We see a wider view, Dawn with a hand on her hip against the night sky and Willow hovering beside her. Slayers on the ground are watching as Willow works. Willow has contained Amy in a glowing green box and is levitating her off the ground. Willow’s hair has already turned red again.

WILLOW: She just really pissed me off.

Back in the dreamspace, Buffy is standing under a curve of red metal bars.

BUFFY: This is what you wanted to show me? Along those lines, what *is* this?

ETHAN: No…

As Ethan continues, we get a wider look. Ethan is sitting with his arm across his knee, reclining on a pile of newspaper. Buffy is actually standing inside a metal wheel, like in a hamster – or rat – cage.

ETHAN: … we’ve gone too far back.

Buffy and Ethan both stand, Buffy brushing hair off her ear as she appears to recognize her surroundings.

BUFFY: Whoah, whoah… I know all this. This is Amy’s cage. *Amy*’s doing this?

ETHAN: I didn’t know her name.

As Buffy looks around, the surroundings appear to have changed into a sort of slimy cave. The whole image is shown in the same red hues that the “dream-cubes” were. Ethan explains from behind her.

ETHAN: I can’t see outside myself. But I connected with her, and she saw me. I think you’re here. Walk about.

Buffy does so, walking around with a hand on the wall. The surface looks almost sinewy. On the ground, a creature with an ax lays dead, or inanimate. It appears to be a “Gamorrean Guard”, the pig monsters from “Return of the Jedi.”

BUFFY: Nice place. I’m starting to miss my giant dragon.

In a new image, Ethan is show standing in a cage or cell. The three walls are made up for beams shaped like the letter “X”. Ethan appears to be unaware of it, however.

BUFFY: So what are you doing in there?

ETHAN: Where am I?

BUFFY: Cage. Crossbeams, like X’s. So this all, what, means something?

Buffy is touching her chin thoughtfully as she thinks aloud.

BUFFY: Three X’s. Triple X. So it’s either Vin Diesel or porn, neither of which is real attractive.

In a new image, Ethan is standing next to Buffy again. His face is thoughtful, and hers is a little confused.

ETHAN: I’m more an antique Roman than a Dane.

BUFFY: Did I mention I’m not crazy good at symbolism?

ETHAN: Just remember what you see here.

As he says this, Ethan turns to look right at Buffy.

ETHAN: Twilight is falling. You’re going to need all the help you can get. Pet.

And then we are back in Buffy’s room, looking down at her on her bed. Her arms and legs are no longer bound, and her arms are crossed across her stomach. Fittingly enough, she could be Sleeping Beauty.

Next to her bed, Willow and Xander are staring down at her. Xander’s arms are crossed tightly and he’s clearly worried. Willow looks thoughtful. Behind them, Leah is visible watching, and Dawn’s eye can be seen looking in the window from outside.

WILLOW: Serious magic is kinda like improve, Dawn. You can’t just stop it cold; you gotta adapt.

DAWN: Is that why I’ve got an army of the undead playing Pride and Prejudice around my ankles?

WILLOW: Don’t worry; as soon as the ball’s over, they’ll leave.

A close up of Willow shows her looking down sympathetically at Buffy.

WILLOW: She looks tired.

In a wider look, Xander still has his arms crossed. Willow is gently placing her hand on Buffy’s waist. Behind them, Leah is not alone. Several other Slayers have arrived.

XANDER: She’s asleep.

WILLOW: You know what I mean.

XANDER: It’s been a long year. And you’ve been where now?

WILLOW: We’ll talk. This is a true love spell.

XANDER: Rumor has it. How do we deal?

We can see the faces of everyone in the room, and Dawn’s outside the window, as Willow lays it out for them. Amy wasn’t lying, and everyone in the room looks a little stunned.

WILLOW: Buffy needs to be kissed by someone who’s in love with her.

As we look at Buffy’s face close-up, Willow makes an even more awkward announcement.

WILLOW: And someone in this room is.

The faces of all the Slayers look between each other. Xander is still looking toward Willow and Buffy from near the foot of the bed. Willow looks actually angry as she turns around to speak to everyone in the room at once.

WILLOW: They might not even have realized it, and they probably don’t want anyone to know about it. So everybody’s gonna shut their eyes – and keep ‘em shut if they wanna keep ‘em – and that person will step forward and give Buffy a kiss.

We look at Xander’s face in close-up as Willow speaks to the room next to him. He looks like something is weighing on him, but there is no telling what it is.

WILLOW: Okay?

Back in the dreamspace, Buffy touches her fingers to her lips.

BUFFY: I have a funny feeling on my mouth.

And in her bedroom, Buffy sits up suddenly. Xander looks startled from beside her at the head of the bed, and Willow is smiling.

BUFFY: Cinnamon buns!

In a close-up, Buffy looks a little embarrassed to see all these people in her room.

BUFFY: Or… uh… I just had the weirdest – WILL!

In a much different scene, a demon like the ones that Buffy fought on her mission in Issue #1 is standing in a torch-lit tunnel, speaking to a man. The man is sitting on a bench or throne that appears to be made of, or surrounded by, human skulls.

DEMON: We are not amused.

In a close-up, we see the man is Giles. He doesn’t look at all intimidated by the demon.

GILES: No one’s exactly giggling on this side of the fence either.

The demon leans in close to Giles, clearly upset. Giles begins to clean his glasses as they go on speaking.

DEMON: Three of our brood slain!

GILES: They broke protocol.

DEMON: They were lured out there!

GILES: I think they were, yes. Someone engineered that conflict – and sacrificed two young men in the process. I think we need to know who.

Giles puts his glasses back on, and produces a piece of paper that he hands to the demon. The paper has the mysterious symbol the gang has been researching.

DEMON: This symbol is meaningless to us. And we are not convinced this is not some Slayer trick. We have ever been enemies.

Giles takes back the paper from the demon and stares at it levelly.

GILES: And ever shall be. We’ll come to grips one day, but on a day we choose. We’ll not be led there like cattle. Right now, information benefits us both. If you learn anything…

The image changes to Italy, where Andrew is talking on a phone with one hand and holding what appears to be a poker hand in the other.

ANDREW: … we would *so* tell you about it. Seriously, we got nothing going on here. I’ve looked through so many books I’ve got parchment fingers. But my mom used to order this special dermatological soap because hoisin sauce makes me rashy –

XANDER: (through the phone) Just keep an eye out.

Back in Scotland, Xander is walking alone down a corridor, talking to Andrew on his blue-tooth.

ANDREW: (through the phone) Oh, we’re on alert. You think Amy’s attack and the symbol are linked?

XANDER: Just a whole lotta question marks coming up at the same time. Wanted to make sure you’re not seeing any action.

ANDREW: I wish! We’re just trying to think of games to stay awake in Dullsville, Italy.

Xander arrives at his destination. He is looking in the doorway of their infirmary. Inside, Slayers are treating each other’s wounds from the ferocious zombie battle.

XANDER: Sounds good enough to me.

ANDREW: No, trust me…

Back in Italy, Andrew is still holding his poker hand, and behind him, several Slayers are playing around a table. The game must be strip poker, since more than a few of the athletic young women are down to their underwear, and one is reaching around to unhook her bra. On a couch off to the side, another Slayer is reading a comic book (titled Fray).

ANDREW: … you’d be bored stiff.

In the Slayer infirmary, on a bed alone in an alcove, Renee is laying over on one side. She is bandaged up from several wounds, including the stab wound to her back. Her clothes are somewhat torn. Her face looks inconsolable as she ignores the other Slayers moving around behind her.

In the next image, she is turning her head as she hears Xander talking to her.

XANDER: Well this is really unimpressive.

Xander turns a chair around backwards and takes a seat on it at the foot of Renee’s bed as he continues speaking.

XANDER: One attack by the undead and Renee has to take a nap, “oh I’m all run through with a broadsword, I have to lie around and heal…” Back in *my* day, which was about a week and a half ago, we took our lumps and got back up and cried like babies and quit and then put on weight.

In the next image, Renee is rolling onto her back to sit up.

RENEE: I should’ve seen ‘em coming. They shoulda never got over that wall. We lost girls because of –

XANDER: Oh, are you still talking?

A close-up of Xander shows him placing his chin on his hands over the chairback. He is smiling reassuringly as he talks.

XANDER: You mess up, Buffy’ll kick your ass. Assuming she’s not in a mystical coma, in which case I or a qualified representative will kick your ass. You raised the call and you stood your ground. It was solid soldiering, so shut up and heal.

Renee is smiling mildly in her own close-up. She looks reassured. Her expression may reveal a small crush on Xander.

RENEE: You’re so butch.

XANDER: Almost a kind of masculine vibe, don’t you think?

Elsewhere in the castle, Buffy and Willow are in a dungeon where Amy is being held. The room has no furniture other than a wooden wardrobe against a wall. Buffy has changed into more modest pajama pants and robe. Amy is held unconscious in a spell similar to what Giles used on DarkWillow to confine her. Willow is hovering in front of her, using magic to try to get some insight into Amy’s power and motives.

WILLOW: She teleported here. I’m gonna run a trace, see where she came from.

BUFFY: You definitely think she came alone?

WILLOW: A couple of her spells reeked of tech. She’s working with someone.

BUFFY: Okay. Hey, speaking of where the hell have you been…

We see a closer look at Willow as she concentrates on Amy. She doesn’t look back at Buffy as she answers.

WILLOW: Yeah, it’s been a funky time. We’ll get into it.

Buffy steps closer to Willow, looking up to where her friend is floating a foot or so off the ground. For the first time, Willow looks back toward her, but doesn’t stop working her mojo on Amy.

BUFFY: Well, how you been? How’s Kennedy? Are you still –

WILLOW: She died.

Buffy’s hands fly up to her mouth in panic. Willow drops to the floor and puts her hands up to explain when she sees Buffy’s reaction.

BUFFY: Willow…

WILLOW: Oh no! She’s fine! Mystical thing, only lasted a month. We’re taking it slow for a while. She’s sort of in her own space, but it’s cool. I always tell that wrong.

Buffy smiles as Willow goes on.

WILLOW: Seems like things are hoppin’ here…

BUFFY: Same old. ‘Cept for Dawnie; she’s definitely not mama’s little girl anymore.

WILLOW: Yeah, what’d she do? Bone a thricewise?

Some point shortly thereafter, Xander walks into the dungeon. We see him standing in the door, already speaking as he steps in.

XANDER: Place is more or less locked down. Can I get a sit rep on ratgirl before –

Xander sees what he has walked in on. Willow and Buffy are hugging with joy, laughing loudly at some story Buffy has been sharing.

WILLOW: (laughing) Oh, no, no…

BUFFY: … And I was *covered* in it! Covered!

XANDER: Wait! What? A funny?

Xander walks closer to them, curious and excited. Buffy and Willow start to settle down, Willow standing with her arm around Buffy’s shoulder as the Slayer catches her breath.

XANDER: There’s funny bonhomie happening and I want in!

BUFFY: No… ahh… ahh… girl thing.

XANDER: Girl thing? With girl parts? Now I really need to know!

WILLOW: Slow year, Xan?

In the next image of them, Xander is crossing his arms defensively. As Buffy speaks, she brings her fingers back up to her lips thoughtfully. Willow is looking at Xander with a look of amusement.

XANDER: Oh, I’m getting *plenty* of action, Elphaba. I’m Action Jackson.

BUFFY: (to herself) “Slow year”… I said that… God, my *dream*…

WILLOW: (to Xander) Hey, I believe. You were the biggest ladies’ man in Sunnydale, Harris. *I* even went in for smoochies, and I don’t truck with the stubbly crowd.

Xander turns his head down in embarrassment. Willow has a much similar awkward look. Both might be reacting to Buffy’s expression – she’s just thought of an important question.

XANDER: Of course, according to my parents the action I’m getting right now should make my last remaining eye go blind…

BUFFY: Hey! Who kissed me?

WILLOW: (changing subjects) Hold up, guys, I’m getting a reaction.

The image changes to see Willow looking over at the unconscious Amy. Willow’s magic is flowing again in green waves from her hands.

WILLOW: Let’s see where you’ve been hanging out.

Around Amy’s head, images appear of men in metal suits, images probably from the Army base.

XANDER: Girls, I’m pretty sure that’s not the kingdom of the faerie-folk.

BUFFY: A military installation? Oh, if the Initiative is back…

The view changes to show Willow’s face in close-up, Buffy behind her, and Xander behind them. All three are staring at something changing around Amy in front of them.

BUFFY: Now why does this remind me of a cavern…?

WILLOW: This is a portal.

Suddenly, we see Amy’s eyes snap open. They are black, like Willow’s have turned in the past. She appears to have been feigning sleep throughout. An instant later, we see Amy leaning back, still restrained but grinning victoriously, into a blue-white tunnel of magical energy. Willow is dragged helplessly after her, her legs kicking out into the air.

WILLOW: It’s a trAAHHH!

Buffy reacts instantly, leaping toward the tunnel to follow, but it has already closed. The witches are gone. Buffy flies through the space they disappeared and crashes into the wardrobe by the wall, shattering it.

Xander also leaps into action. In close-up, he shouts instructions into the blue-tooth he wears.

XANDER: I need mystics in the basement level *now*! We need a portal re-opened! Alpha Team, suit up and stand by. Where are my mystics?

Buffy sits up in the fragments of the wardrobe. Her face looks beyond angry.

BUFFY: We’re being played, Xander. I’m not liking it.

Far away in the military base, Willow is lying on a metal table. She is restrained, seemingly by magic, at both ankles, both wrists, and around the neck. A cart next to the table has all sorts of bladed tools. Amy’s voice is heard as Willow tries to get a look at her surroundings.

AMY: Great, big all-powerful Earth-mother witch goddess…

Amy is shown leaning in menacingly over Willow as she continues to mock her.

AMY: … and she still falls for a rope-a-dope.

Willow’s face grows angry as Amy continues her speech.

AMY: Of course, we’re contracted to bring in the Slayer, but I’m pretty sure she’ll show. Too late, of course…

WILLOW: “We”…?

We see into the room from close to Willow’s point of view. There is a man in the shadow of the room. His voice is presented as being distorted, somehow inhuman. This is clearly Amy’s “boyfriend”, finally ready to join in the proceedings.

BOYFRIEND: I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for this. Well, I can. To the hour. Killing Buffy Summers is gonna be a party. She’s pissed me off more than a little.

A close-up on Willow shows her eyes widen. She clearly recognizes Amy’s “boyfriend” as he steps into view.

BOYFRIEND: But you, Rosenberg…

The next image is of the man who’s been speaking. He’s a walking nightmare. All we can see are blood and muscle, for the man does not have any skin. It’s Warren Meers, of course, the man Willow flayed and murdered almost three years earlier. He’s leering liplessly over her. And he’s holding a shining saw in his hand, surely ready to do unspeakable things to the captured witch.

WARREN: … You *really* got under my skin.

End of Issue #3

[KingofCretins]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Issue #4
“The Long Way Home, Part IV”

Prologue Summary: This story takes place after the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Seven.

The Slayer population of the world has gone from two to nearly two thousand. Almost five hundred are working around the world with Buffy’s organization in squads – or “terrorist cells,” according to the American military. Buffy, Xander, Dawn, and a passel of Slayers are currently bunked out in a Scottish castle, where the latest mission revealed a strange symbol carved into human bodies.

Also, Dawn’s a giant.

Start of Issue #4

The first image is a familiar face in close-up. It’s Warren, and we’re back in Season 6. He is sweating and looks afraid, and is clearly bound in the trees the way he was in “Villains” before Willow flayed him. A voice is speaking over this memory, Warren’s voice, as he remembers what Willow said to him.

WARREN: Bored now.

The next image is a tight close-up on Willow’s eye. She is clearly surprised and apparently afraid. Warren continues taunting her and explaining himself.

WARREN: Do you even remember that’s what you said? Last two words of my human life, so I remember probably better. You were upset.

We see Amy’s face from a low angle. Her expression is clearly pleased as Warren begins to talk about her. She is definitely enjoying this.

WARREN: Kinda spiraling, is what they say. Which is, hey – I’m not excusing where I was at, so don’t think – I mean you – if Amy hadn’t been watching you, she would never have started watching me. Watching *over* me.

We see Warren in flashback again, looking more terrified as Willow faces him. His voice continues to explain his survival.

WARREN: Do you know she had maybe a four-second window after my skin came off before I died of shock alone? That flash-paper disappearing trick was pretty hokey, we kid about that, but thinking on your feet? This is the girl. Her magic is my skin.

And now we see Warren’s present, skinless face in close-up. He is smiling cruelly as he reveals still more of his history.

WARREN: That time we came up with the spell for you and your girlfriend – and hey, *that* was quick, I was still learning to walk again and you’re already in the fresh trim… I remember thinking and it comes up again in this situation, I just have to wonder…

And we again see Willow’s eye in extreme close-up, still afraid. Now, there is the fine and lethally sharp point of a scalpel held almost perfectly to her pupil.

WARREN: Are you bored *now*?

The next image takes us to Scotland, outside the castle, where Dawn and Buffy are standing. Dawn is clearly enraged, and Buffy stands with her arms crossed at Dawn’s feet. Dawn is so angry that she is punching the masonry of the castle, breaking off huge chunks of the wall.

DAWN: (screaming) AAAAGGKH!

We see Buffy in close-up. She has put a leather jacket on over the khaki pants and white shirt she was wearing when Willow was taken.

BUFFY: Dawnie, you know you’re not as proportionally strong as you are large.

We see Dawn, calming, holding her right hand in her left. The knuckles of her right hand are bleeding from where she punched the castle.

DAWN: I know! I just – this hurts a lot – I can’t let something happen to her.

BUFFY: If they manage to re-open the portal –

Dawn is shown from over Buffy’s shoulder, gesturing helplessly.

DAWN: I’m too big! I get it! I’ve been *super-sized*! I’m *useless*.

The image reverses to show Buffy looking up at her sister with genuine concern over what Dawn has said.

BUFFY: That’s not –

DAWN: Just bring her back. I trust you to do that, I do, Buffy, but *do it*. I’m not trying to slam you, I swear, but…

The view shifts to a close-up of Buffy’s profile. She looks hurt by what Dawn says.

DAWN: … Will is like a mom to me.

The next scene is of Buffy standing in the castle besides Xander. Her hands are on her hips and his are crossed high with his hands under his arms. They are staring straight ahead as they catch up.

XANDER: Oh I bet you loved hearing that.

BUFFY: How much longer?

The view shifts and we see the room from above. It’s the basement where they were holding Amy. Two young women, apparently the mystics Xander requested, are standing in front of the broken wardrobe, gesturing and reading from books. Behind them, Xander and Buffy watch patiently as they discuss their plan.

XANDER: Teleportation’s not an exact magic, Buffy. And as good as these girls are, we’re not sportin’ a Giles, so… they say a couple hours. Portal echo big enough for… maybe one or two guys, tops.

BUFFY: What can I do?

XANDER: Figure out who your moving buddy is.

In the next image, we are seeing both Buffy and Xander in profile. Xander is staring straight ahead still, very stoic. Buffy, standing on his right, turns to look at him with concern, apparently sensing him wishing he could go with her.

BUFFY: (quietly) Xander…

XANDER: I’m not a fighter. I got no magic. If there’s any kind of satellite bounce I’m your eyes and ears. That’s it.

The view reverses to just Xander’s opposite profile, from Buffy’s point of view. He looks a great deal older than he usually does, and he’s still staring straight ahead.

XANDER: It’s Will. We play it smart. And we remember she’s stronger than all of us.

Back in Amy and Warren’s lab, we see a close-up on Willow’s hand and the glowing bond holding her at the wrist. Her hand and arm are shaking, as if she’s fighting to escape. Warren’s voice is taunting her.

WARREN: And therein lies, it’s very operatic, your downfall. You’re just so *strong*.

We see another extreme close-up of Willow’s eye as Warren continues. Now, however, her eye is being held open by several metal tools holding her eyelid open. Her eye is bloodshot, and a tear is running free.

WARREN: All your power is siphoned into those bonds. The stronger you get... try it. Go dark. I wish you would.

In a wider look, we see the length of Willow’s body where she is laid out in the lab. Warren is holding her chin and apparently digging into her eye with his scalpel. Willow screams wordlessly as her body convulses in pain.

WARREN: I think you might.

In the castle, we see Buffy’s face in close-up. She is staring intently as she chooses her partner on this mission.

BUFFY: Satsu.

The next image stands alone and at slightly wider margins than the others. Five female figures are standing together. One with yellow eyes, apparently wooden skin, and leaf-like hair. The next appears to be made of blue flame or some kind of energy. The third, in the middle, is almost an abstract version of Willow herself, with two-toned skin. The fourth appears animal in nature, like a werewolf. The fifth figure is blank white space shaped like a woman. In that space, there are countless mathematical expressions at different angles. The second figure, made of blue flame, speaks.

FIGURE: For goodness sake, yes. Grant her access.

In the next image, we see who Buffy is addressing – a room full of her Slayers. Satsu is in close-up, just beside and behind her are Rowena and Leah, and several other Slayers fill the room. As Buffy continues to give Satsu her orders, most of the other Slayers, particularly the other two on Alpha Team, look obviously disappointed not to have been chosen. Satsu looks nervous, but ready.

BUFFY: Get your favorite blade and be ready for anything and the mother of anything.

And in the next image, we are back in the military base, but instead we see Gen. Voll and the man in the suit. They are reacting to Willow’s screaming and look alarmed.

MAN IN SUIT: We heard screaming.

From over their shoulders, we see they are looking at Amy, who is standing in front of the door to her and Warren’s lab, clearly not intending to let them come in.

VOLL: And you’ve disabled our cameras.

AMY: I know, I’m sorry, but guys: there is no way Buffy is not gonna come after this subject.

Voll and the man in the suit look surprised that Amy has planned this out as she explains. Maybe they are surprised to be out of the loop.

AMY: You just have that big atomo-phallic thing pointed at the portal and you’ll get your Slayer. She’ll come after this witch like a dog after dogs$#%, I swear to God.

In tight close-up, Amy’s face is full of wicked glee.

AMY: But the witch belongs to my boyfriend. They have a history.

As Amy finishes, we see Buffy in the castle. Her face is all business, and not at all friendly. She is opening a chest or armoire and claiming the scythe from its apparent storage place.

AMY: She’s kind of a history *major*.

Next we see Alpha Team and several other Slayers together in what is apparently Satsu’s bedroom. Leah and Rowena are sitting on her bed, Rowena slumping, still looking upset that Buffy didn’t pick her. Satsu is kneeling beside her bed, getting a katana that she stored there. She appears to be embarrassed to have all these other Slayers watching her.

SATSU: It should’ve been one of you.

The next image is a close up of Rowena and Leah. Rowena looks despondent and says nothing. Leah is smiling graciously, and appears to be trying to keep Satsu relaxed.

LEAH: Ya dinna think we know that? Personally, I think Buffy jus’ wants ta die looking at yer great hairdo, but it’s her that’s boss.

We see the blade of Satsu’s sword in her hands. In it, her reflection stares back out at her wide brown eyes as Leah gives her one more piece of advice.

LEAH: Don’t embarrass us.

In the basement again, Buffy and Satsu are ready for battle. Buffy has changed into jeans and a denim jacket, similar to her drop gear from the first issue. Her hair is up in a short ponytail. With a gloved hand, she is sliding the scythe into what appears to be a self-styled holster for it on her left-hip, like a gunslinger.

Satsu is pulling on a long glove. She is wearing shoulder and knee-pads over her outfit, which consists of a blue skirt over black tights, and a tanktop with what appears to be padded armor. Her katana is slung over her left shoulder.

In the background, Xander is directing traffic of his mystics and other Slayers, organizing them for opening the portal. Buffy is giving Satsu a last minute briefing and instruction as they get ready. As she listens, Satsu looks anxious.

BUFFY: Kill any demon you see. Humans you go for the wound unless they get stupid.

SATSU: Humans?

BUFFY: Willow said Amy’s magic was mixed with technology. You fight *with* me, not next to me. Do I need to say that again?

SATSU: No, ma’am.

The next image, the two Slayers are in close up. Satsu still looks nervous, Buffy is determined but relaxed.

BUFFY: Did you bring any lip gloss?

SATSU: Oh yeah.

BUFFY: I’m all cracky.

Buffy is shown applying Satsu’s lipgloss as she speaks. As she finishes her instructions, she pauses, as if she is surprised.

BUFFY: We get Willow and we get out. If she can’t leave for any reason then neither can I. If I tell you to bail you do it without a word, you get out and you regroup. Hnh

Buffy pulls the lipgloss away from her mouth and looks at it. Satsu is giving her a sidelong glance.

BUFFY: (to herself) Cinnamon.

In the next scene, we see Willow falling through the air, as Buffy and Ethan did through Buffy’s dreamspace. Behind her, the five female figures stand as giants in the background, speaking to her.

WEREWOLF FIGURE: This refuge is only temporary, as you know.

FLAMING FIGURE: We cannot undo what is happening on your plane, but your heart can bide with us until you are free.

Willow is shown coming to a landing smoothly on her feet. The five figures are gathered around her, now the same size as ordinary people.

WILLOW: Would that be free as in “unbound” or free as in the other thing?

FLAMING FIGURE: We can’t know and won’t try. Look over the edge.

Willow is shown looking over the edge of a cliff, with the flaming figure standing beside her. Below are whirling flames, with what look like people in them, in various positions. It is an image of complete chaos and probably great pain.

WILLOW: This is me.

FLAMING FIGURE: Yes. We hide your agony by reformulating its presentation. What you’re seeing is possibility. Thoughts, courses of actions, pieces of what you could be. Ending.

In close-up, Willow looks stunned by the idea, and scared. The woman made of blue flame behind her looks concerned for the witch.

FLAMING FIGURE: He’s lobotomizing you. Do you have a plan?

In the military complex, a soldier armed with a rifle is shown in close-up shouting orders. There is a small ball of light forming in the air in front of him.

SOLDIER: We got movement! It’s opening!

We see the room he’s in from a wider view. In it, there are several soldiers off to the sides. In the center of the room, facing the ball of the light where the portal is opening, there is a giant device. It’s spherical with a barrel-like shaft on one side, facing the portal. It has laser tubes and a vapor around it, like a cooling system. It is clearly a large weapon.

SOLDIER: Everybody clear!

In the castle, the basement is a hustle of activity. Two mystics are harnessing a glowing green ball of energy, opening the portal. Xander is giving orders to the Slayers there working, as well as to Buffy and Satsu.

XANDER: Get it in place! You got zero seconds! Buf, if that thing’s any use it’ll be right away. You jump in after and land fighting.

BUFFY: Yes sir Mister Watcher sir.

XANDER: I’ll Watcher your *butt*, lady.

BUFFY: Your grammar is not so much.

In the next image, Xander is checking his watch as Buffy and Satsu move into position walking past him. Xander’s face is all business. Satsu looks anxious as she follows Buffy. Buffy is smiling affectionately over her shoulder to Xander as he gives her one more ‘order’ before the portal opens.

XANDER: Bring me back a witch.

In the military compound, the cannon points menacingly to where the portal will open. It hums a *MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM* as it powers up. Soldiers stand on either side, waiting for the shooting to start.

Buffy and Satsu are shown from behind, staring into the Portal as it bursts open. A voice is heard shouting from the other side of the blinding light of the portal.

SOLDIER’S VOICE: It’s open!

And then we see the soldier, an officer, who is speaking, in close-up, giving the command.

OFFICER: Fire!

With a *THOOM* the cannon blasts energy into the portal. The beam appears to be a couple of feet wide, ready to annihilate anything in its way. The officer stands impassively next to the machine, with his hands behind his back as the soldiers in the room shield their eyes. When the beam reaches the portal, it disappears into thin air…

… and in the castle, we see the beam emerging from the portal as the various Slayers and others shield their eyes. The beam strikes a large, curved mirror and is reflected back into the portal…

… where in the next image, it demolishes the cannon with a *KRWHUHBOOM*. Soldiers are scattered in every direction by the blast.

SOLDIER: Ahh! Ahh!

XANDER: Magic.

In the castle, Xander is standing near the smoking mirror, commenting on the damage they just did.

XANDER: It’s all done with mirrors.

In the base, the officer is shown on a steel balcony, holding a fire extinguisher and putting out a burning man’s clothes. Soldiers are all over, trying to recover, both on the floor below and a balcony on the opposite side of the room.

OFFICER: Sound off! Who’s hurt? Stay calm, dammit!

In the next image, as the smoke clears, Buffy and Satsu are standing in the middle of the room full of injured, disoriented soldiers. Satsu has her katana drawn, and Buffy is holding the scythe in it’s sword/spear posture. Both of them are ready for a fight.

BUFFY: No. Panic.

The next several images depict the Slayers going to work, literally carving their way through their enemy. Bullets fly around the room as the pair acrobatically disable soldier after soldier. Buffy wields the scythe in every conceivable way, swinging it like a bat to bludgeon one soldier, blocking an attempted attack with a rifle butt using the blade.

Crossing the room, Buffy plants her foot on a soldier’s helmet to leap into the air, and does a flip to land in a straddling position across the throat of another, bearing him to the ground.

In the next image, Buffy and Satsu are side by side again. One of Satsu’s shoulderpads is revealed to be the head of a teddy bear. She is punching a soldier who was trying to draw a pistol on her. Buffy kicks the officer in the face and sends him sprawling.

The two Slayers stand triumphant in the next image. Around them, there is still smoke and fire from the explosion. All around the room are injured soldiers, many unconscious, some struggling to get up. Many appear to be dead or dying. Satsu still has her sword drawn to cover Buffy. Buffy herself stand over the officer who has pulled up into a sitting position.

BUFFY: So.

The officer is shown staring up at her from below, her clenched fist visible. He looks angry and frightened. His mouth is bleeding.

BUFFY: We tried to be nice here but some of these men are dying. There’s one person in this complex powerful enough to heal them. You can tell where she is…

We see Buffy’s face in close-up, and it is a harsh, threatening expression.

BUFFY: *Or*.

Back in the castle, Xander is shown, apparently back in the command center. In front of him are several monitors, showing images of the compound – Buffy looking around in one, the hilt of the scythe in another. The images are coming from cameras Buffy and Satsu have. Xander and Buffy talk through their radio.

XANDER: Hey, we’re up! What’s the what?

BUFFY: (through the radio) Military installation. Initiative-y, but way more of your tax dollars at work.

XANDER: Willow?

BUFFY: (through the radio) We’re en route.

In the compound, we see Buffy delivering a high kick to knock out another solder with a *WHMP* that sends him flying backwards. Satsu is following her, covering Buffy’s back with her weapon still drawn.

XANDER: (through the radio) Amy’ll be waiting for you.

We see a close-up of Buffy peeking around the wall into another hallway.

BUFFY: You got any idea where all this is?

XANDER: (through the radio) Yeah, G.P.S. is coming up… wow.

BUFFY: Where are we?

Buffy is shown signaling with her hand to Satsu to wait where she is. Buffy is preparing to enter the hallway.

XANDER: (through the radio) About two miles south of Sunnydale.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: Sunnydale. Well.

Buffy steps into the hallway with the scythe drawn. We see her facing Amy, who is guarding the door to the lab where Willow is kept. Amy is floating in mid-air, sitting in the lotus position. With her powers she appears to be manifesting a monster made of smoke or energy. She is grinning with the same glee she had when fighting Willow.

(NARRATION) BUFFY: I’m the one who wanted to go home.

The next image is of Willow, in her dream or trance space, the cliff. She is standing next to the flaming blue woman. All around them, small humanoid shapes fall through space, apparently the probabilities and pieces of Willow that are being destroyed by Warren.

FLAMING FIGURE: Your body is almost dead. You can’t come back from a natural death, dear. Not even you. Do you not fear?

We see Willow’s face from the flaming blue woman’s perspective. Willow is turning toward her with a smile on her face.

WILLOW: Did I ever tell you about my best friend?

In the hallway, Buffy is shown in close-up. Her face is determined, ready for this fight with Amy. Around her ear, we see the combination blue-tooth and camera that allows her and Satsu to communicate with the castle.

BUFFY: I like to think, in a way, that she’s part of me. That even when she’s gone, a part of her is with me.

In a close-up, we see Buffy’s eyes have turned black, just like Willow’s do when she taps into her power.

BUFFY: ‘cause it is.
We see Satsu in the hallway, searching the soldier they knocked out. In the foreground, green energy is beginning to course over Buffy’s fist like electricity.

SATSU: I got one, sir.

XANDER: (through the radio) On my mark, pina colada.

The next image is of Buffy as we’ve never seen her. Her right fight is covered with a huge glove made of the green energy, and she is punching Amy’s energy monster in it’s stomach, knocking it away. With her left hand, Buffy is making a green shield that is blocking an attack of Amy’s magic. The scythe falls away from Buffy, abandoned in this fight.

In a close-up, we see Amy regrouping. She is forming a black ball in front of her, like she’s preparing a new attack on Buffy. White energy flows around the ball. She taunts Buffy, who gives as good as she gets.

AMY: This is a *lightshow* You don’t have a particle of her strength.

BUFFY: I saw your dreamspace, Amy.

We see a close-up of Buffy, only it’s not Buffy. It’s the face of Catherine Madison, glowing in green energy. Buffy’s magic is creating an illusion to distract Amy.

BUFFY/CATHERINE: I saw your nightmare.

We see a wider view of the hallway. Buffy is hovering off the floor, green electricity crackling around her and her pony-tail is floating in mid-air. Amy is hovering also, the black ball still in front of her, but she is hanging loosely in the air. From the hallway, Satsu responds to a command through her radio and throws something. It bounces off all the walls and the ceiling as it heads toward Amy.

XANDER: (through the radio) Now!

In close-up, Amy’s face looks confused, hurt, even ashamed for a moment.

AMY: (quietly) Mom…?

At Amy’s feet, we see what Satsu has thrown. It is a hand grenade, and it settles below Amy’s hovering feet.

With a *BAOOM* the grenade explodes and fill the image with orange fire. Only the frame of the door is visible.

When the blast clears, we see Buffy and Satsu stepping through the broken door to Warren’s lab, both of them with weapons out. Warren looks up at them, holding the scalpel. The blade is covered in blade.

WARREN: No!

In a close-up, Buffy